


Sin in Silence

by LightOnLight



Category: Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Aliens, Angst, Angst and Feels, Blindfolds, Body Language, Bondage, FrostIron - Freeform, Gags, Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapping, M/M, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Sensory Deprivation, Sexual Content, Slavery, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-19
Updated: 2013-06-26
Packaged: 2017-11-26 01:45:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 25
Words: 87,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/645161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LightOnLight/pseuds/LightOnLight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When someone from the far end of the galaxy shows an interest in Tony's competencies, he is taken by force one night. On his journey he meets a stranger under less than stellar circumstances who may turn out to be not as strange as he would like.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue: At night

 

 

“Please remember the board meeting tomorrow, I've marked it in your calendar. Be in time.”

“Yes, Pepper.”

Tony sighed heavily and continued working on the boot of his newest Iron Man armour. Maybe it was just his impression, but ever since they broke up Pepper had become more and more insufferable. Or maybe it was just him not being able to cope, he didn' t know. They agreed to stay friends, but really, seeing each other every day - working together - they had no space to breathe, to get over it.

It's not like he didn't understand her. Living and loving someone who endangered his life on a regular basis, who had self destructive tendencies and generally no brain-to-mouth-filter was hard. Too hard for Pepper apparently. He didn't want to make her suffer. Their relationship held a grand total of two months after the “New York incident”. Two months of screaming insecurity and trust issues.

And now she was there, every day, but out of his reach. Sometimes Tony wished they hadn't been together in the first place, so at least their friendship would still be intact.

To clear his head, he worked himself into a frenzy. It was nearly 2 am when JARVIS suggested he take a break. Fair enough, he was treading water for the last hour or so anyway. Closing up his workshop for the night, he shuffled upstairs.

On the way to the bedroom he passed a mirror and decided that he looked awful. Well, not his looks were awful, but his posture. He looked kind of... defeated? Yes, defeated was a nice description. And an inadequate shape for Tony Stark. He took a deep breath, straightened his back and forced his lips into a cocky grin. Way better. _Mens sana in corpore sano_ or whatever smart people said. If he looked happy enough, maybe his mind would catch on soon.

As Tony swaggered into his bedroom he had just decided that tomorrow he would try and start with a blank slate. There has been a happy life before Pepper and there would again be one after Pepper. Hell, he survived Afghanistan, he survived Obi, survived Vanko and he survived a fucking alien invasion, led by a batshit insane norse deity of all things. He could cope with a little heartache.

“JARVIS, tell me I'm awesome”, he commanded, eyeing his liquor cabinet, but ultimately deciding against drenching his thoughts in alcohol. He had stopped doing that a while ago. Not drinking in general, but using the alcohol to numb his thoughts. He thanked Pepper for that.

“ _Sir, there appears to be an intruder on your balcony.”_

“What.” Tony frowned while wrapping his head around the idea of late night visitors. “JARVIS, lights.”

Just as he finished speaking, the glass door separating the bedroom from said balcony crashed inwards, little glittering shards flying everywhere. He shielded his face as best as he could and instinctively dived behind the bar, searching for the bracelets that would allow him to summon his suit.

Crunching footsteps echoed around the room while he was frantically searching for the second bracelet. He cursed internally just as a giant foot appeared around the bar followed by a figure stepping into his line of sight. Tony stopped his scrambling for a while to take in his unbidden guest.

The creature - for there wasn't another word to describe it – was tall, a good seven feet of height, bulky, clad in brown leather armour and hung with weapons like a Christmas tree with tinsel. It appeared to be reptilian, though anthropomorphic. Greyish scales shimmered in the lights of his bar. It smiled and displayed a mouth full of small but pointy teeth.

“Tony Stark?” It's voice sounded like someone dragging a boulder across concrete. But it spoke English. Huh.

“Uh, yeah, if you wanted an appointment, you needed only ask. I'm kinda off duty at the moment. You see, I need my beauty sleep.”

Where was that damn bracelet? The creature neared Tony and he instinctively scrambled backwards. Then he hit something with his back. Something smooth and leg-shaped. Something that had not been there before.

Looking upwards he saw a second creature, also grinning. It bent down and picked him up as if he weighted nothing.

“Someone want a drink? I want one, come on, let me down, I'm sure we can talk about thi-”

A giant hand was clamped about his jaw and shut him up. He struggled in vain against the arms holding him, even kicking the creatures shins amounted to nothing. He even drew his knees up to be able to kick it's crotch area, but he just heart a metallic clonking sound. Prepared bastards.

Now the other creature approached him from the front, a tiny pistol-like thing in its hand. It set the tip on his forearm and pulled the little trigger. Tony registered a sting, then his surroundings began to waver. Eventually he felt how the creature holding him had began to move before his vision went completely black and he sagged against the strong arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I know, incredibly cheap way to get rid of Pepper early on. Also first story in years, not a native speaker, un-beta'd, chronically unsure. I'm sorry.


	2. Into Darkness

He woke up feeling like he got trampled by a mob. His head swam and he had no sense of orientation whatsoever. Tony rubbed his eyes and reached towards his bedside table for a look at the clock. There was no clock. There was no bedside table. Slowly regaining control of his senses, Tony realized that there also was no bed under him, but hard, cold floor.

“Oh, what the....”

He rubbed his eyes and forced his unusually heavy body to sit up. He was in a blank, very small and very grey room. The floor he was sitting on appeared to be made of some kind of metal, as were the walls and the ceiling. There was a low humming sound coming from all around him, in fact he felt it more than he heard it. Minuscule vibrations thrumming through his body, not unpleasant.

 Right in front of him was a door with a tiny glass window that let in enough light for him to see his environment. He immediately noticed that it lacked a handle, at least on this side.Tony stood up slowly and stalked toward the door to try and take a look through the window, though he had to stand on tiptoes to be able to reach it.Outside he saw a small part of a hallway, and sitting on the floor a reptilian creature that looked vaguely familiar. Slowly the hazy memories from last night returned. It was last night, right? He wasn't sure since there was nothing around he would be able to measure the flow of time with.

 With a huff he returned to a sitting position on the floor. Were he not still a little groggy, he would try to figure out how to get out of this room. He tried to shake the uneasy feeling from him and think. Those creatures had obviously kidnapped him. Fine, he knew what being kidnapped meant. Usually the kidnapper wanted something from his or her victim, otherwise he would be dead.

Also, the creatures knew who he was. They knew how to find him.

There wasn't enough room for a satisfying pacing, so he kept sitting on the floor. That would have to do to awaken his spirits.

One after another the gears in his head started to turn and his thoughts began racing. He had never seen anything like those creatures before, they weren't Chitauri, they also weren't Asgardian, or any other alien lifeform known to man. At least not to him. He was positive that they were indeed aliens, though.

He had no idea where he was. He had no idea how to escape. He was alone, in one piece and on the best way to fully regain his senses after an unknown timespan of unconsciousness. So far no flashbacks of Afghanistan. His mental health seemed fine though he was hungry and felt caged in the tiny room. The walls, while not very high, seemed to press in on him the longer he sat there, there was no sound other than the low humming noise around him and outside was a hallway with a creature he didn't know the motivation of. Yeah, he was going crazy if he stayed in here.

“Huh, I meant to start a new life but this is kinda not what I thought about”, Tony murmured to himself if just to fill the oppressing silence, before slowly standing up and reaching for the door again. “This is _so_ not a good idea...”

Gulping he took a step back from the door and knocked, once, twice, thrice. No reaction. He knocked again. “Uh.. hello? You out there able to hear me? Hello!”

He heard his own voice echo from the walls and hoped the room wasn't soundproof, but then there was a rustling sound from outside. The hair in the back of his neck stood on end and Tony nervously fumbled with the hem of his shirt. A series of clicking and clanking noises came from the door, then it was slowly pushed inwards, a barked “Step back!” sounding from outside.

The creature stepped in and let his eyes roam over Tony's body, lingering, examining. As if it checked him for something. Following the bulky thing was another of the creatures - and another.

“Uhm, no hard feelings guys, but it's getting a little crowded in here, don't cha think?” If there was any justice they wouldn't hear the nervousness in his voice. Behind the three Reptiles appeared a smaller figure, lanky, but also reptilian. It smiled invitingly, but it was a smile that was neither warm nor trustful. Backed against the wall Tony fixed his attention on it and waited.

 “Ah, Anthony Edward Stark. A pleasure.” His full name. He already didn't like it.

“I see you eventually awoke. I hope the sedation has not caused you any inconveniences, aside from the unconsciousness?”

Tony felt slight anger at the calm and fake-friendly tone of it. He tried to glare at it as best as he could. “Oh no, the pleasure's all mine. You know, I really like being forcefully kidnapped and sedated. A hobby of mine. But, good sir, you might want to let me in as to _why_ I am here? Where are we? And whom do I speak to, by the way?”

The creature smiled his infuriatingly smug smile and gestured to one of its bullies to grab a hold of Tony which, after an embarrassingly short struggle, it accomplished.

“My name shall not concern you, human. You are here, because someone paid us a very generous amount of money for you. We are, at the present moment, on a shuttle that just left Earth's orbit and on our way to our mother ship, where you will be prepared and shipped like the other slaves until we reach our destination, where you will find your new home.”

He could feel the blood slowly draining from his face and a wave of nausea hit him at the creature's words. A slave trader? An apparently interplanetary slave trader?

“Take him, we are almost there.”

The Reptile holding him in its iron grip moved him out of the cell and down a short hallway until they reached another door, an airlock from the looks of it. Tony's heart pumped in his chest. He never thought he'd experience that, but he was scared speechless. The humming got louder for a moment, before another sound droned it out, it came from behind the door and sounded _big._

_An engine. A fucking huge engine. Mother ship,_ Tony thought with dread, then the whole hallway shook suddenly, violently and he heard a powerful hissing, then everything went still. The door in front of them slowly opened and they stepped into the airlock. The same door fell shut behind them and shortly afterwards Tony felt how the pressure changed. His ears rang and he gulped several times to get rid of the feeling.

A while later the other door opened, revealing two more reptilian creatures, both as bulky as his captors. One of them held a device in its claws and stepped forward to lift it before Tony's face. As he realized what it was, he began to struggle anew, writhed in the arms of the creature that held him, protesting loudly.

A hand was, again, clamped about his jaw, shutting him up and conveniently holding him in place. The black device was pushed over his eyes and locked shut behind his head. It robbed him completely of his eyesight. Panic began to tighten his throat and he breathed quickly and heavily through his nose.

The creatures began walking again, all he could do was stumbling along, terrified that he couldn't see. Around him he heard the noises of several people in a wide area, the sound echoed through what had do be a grand hall, or a hangar. Metal hitting metal, scrubbing noises, people murmuring, heavy footfalls from all around him, voices speaking like stone on concrete, yelled commands, heavy machinery working a punching rhythm; it all assaulted Tony's ears a once.

Tony smelled the thick stench of oil and sweat.

He was pulled forward, two big creatures next to him, holding him by his upper arms between them, his feet hardly touched the floor while they marched quickly through the big area.

He noticed that he was shivering slightly, the panic still not subsiding. The muscles in his gut clenched spastically and he couldn't _breathe._

Just as he thought he might pass out from the pressure and lack of air, he heard a swishing sound and felt a change of air around him. Then the swishing again and most of the noises subsided. So they entered another room, or hallway. Only the footsteps around him remained, carrying him.

Then they stopped. Sounds of doors and scraping metal and then warmth. He was put down on warm, tiled floor and the creatures loosened their grip. Tony thought he might sink to the floor because his legs felt like jelly. But huge hands took hold of his biceps and held them firmly.

Another hand grabbed his hair and pulled his head back. Someone forced his jaw open and he felt anxious as something passed his lips. It felt like a plate of light metal that pushed his tongue down. Then his jaw was closed around it and he felt a contraption not unlike his blindfold take hold of his lower jaw, fully enclosing it, and pressing it upward, against his upper jaw. Then the contraption was closed behind his head.

 _A gag. They fucking gagged me!_ Tony grunted and moaned, but hardly a sound left his closed jaw. He kept breathing heavily through his nose, his chest was heaving with the effort. His heart hammered wildly against his ribcage and he felt dizzy from the rush of blood it sent through his body.

Something sharp was pressed against the small of his back and he jerked forward instinctively. Hands gripped his waist and the sharp object tore upwards through his shirt, slicing it from him. He noticed a pause then, and felt the stinking breath of a person just above the reactor. In a last ditch effort he struggled again, but the hands on his biceps held him in place.

The creatures around him murmured, sounding vaguely surprised at the blue glowing device. He could hardly understand them above the rushing of blood in his ears.

“Shall we take that out?”

“I do not know. It does not look like cloth.”

“Maybe they want him because of it?”

“Is it magical?”

“No, looks mechanical.”

Hands touched the arc reactor and the skin around it, probing. Tony felt bile rising in his throat. If they tore it out... but maybe death was preferable to the uncertainty that lay before him. Before he could wrap his thoughts around that the fingers were removed from his chest. They came to the conclusion to let it in.

“They bought him, they get him whole. If it is cloth, they can remove it themselves.”

He let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding. Now he felt the sharp object – a knife? - again, at the small of his back, this time slicing his belt and his trousers. They had more problems with his jeans but eventually also rid him of them. His shorts followed soon after. Standing in the middle of a room blind and exposed must be one of the worst feelings he ever had. He pressed his legs together, as if that would change anything.

A hissing sound rose from the floor to his ears, then he was enveloped in hot steam. Tony quickly became dizzy from the heat, his rushing blood doing nothing to stabilize his circulation. A motor started up and the steam was vented.

The sound of pumping was heard, then a splash. Tony grunted shocked when he was hit with a liquid akin to water. It was pleasantly warm, but reeked of sulphur. He was hosed thoroughly, they even brushed him with something like a sponge.

Tony was manhandled roughly, Hands scrubbed him everywhere they could reach, his armpits, neck, torso... then they roughly spread his legs and invaded his private parts. Tony recoiled from the touch, but it was no use, they only held him firmer. His low whimpering noises went unnoticed.

He felt the arms pull him forward until his chest laid on a flat surface. A hand was placed on his back to hold him down. A rush of warm air breezed from above, drying his wet body in a matter of seconds. His arms were pulled forward and above his head, then he felt how they took each of his arms carefully and slid something over his hands, just to clamp it shut around his biceps. The material felt similar to that used in the gag and blindfold.

The process was repeated but this time the metal rings clamped shut around his wrists, encircling them snugly.

Tony felt someone approaching him from behind, lifting one of his legs. A similar contraption was pulled over his feet, clamped shut on his thighs right above the knees, then on each ankle.

He gulped again, when hands pried apart his legs and spread his ass cheeks. His attempts to wriggle away were forcefully stopped by hands pressing down on his hips, holding him in place.

He was held down on the table by strong hands when a tube invaded his hole and was pushed in.

Heaving and breathing hard, Tony tried to calm down and relax his muscles around the invading tube. He felt it press constantly up into his innards, a very intrusive and uncomfortable pressure in his intestines. Then the invasion stopped, and he felt warmth spread through his organs. His grunts and choked groans were ignored as they continued their ministrations.

“Calm down, we are washing you”, came a gruff command from somewhere above him. Tony's cheeks reddened from the humiliation he was subjected to. Tears burned beneath his closed eyelids and he let them flow freely under his blindfold.

After a while he felt bloated and empty and shortly after that the tube was removed. It slipped from him with a slick sound and he buried his face into the table he was pressed onto.

This small comfort didn't last long however, as he was hoisted onto his wobbly legs and his hair got gripped again. At last they pushed a collar around his throat, closing it tightly. The thing was almost as wide as his neck and pinched around his throat.

Tony stood in the middle of the room, naked, humiliated and shivering. There was commotion around him, rustling of chains, footsteps encircling him and probing hands _everywhere_ on his body, checking for grime and other faults on their “carriage”.

When they were satisfied, he felt how something heavy was attached to the front of the collar, cold metal brushed his chest. So they finally chained him. His arms were pulled behind his back, chains attached to the manacles around his wrists and locked together tightly. The bonds around his thighs had chains attached to them aswell, but their endings were held by what he presumed to be his guards.

The door somewhere behind him swished open again, footsteps entered and surrounded him. The room smelled of sulphur and steam, the air was sticky. The new person in the room took Tony's chin in his hand – claw – and turned his head to each side, inspecting him. Then he felt how the creature pinched his earlobe with a device. It stung, badly, and afterwards the pain throbbed rhytmically against an object that was inserted into the lobe.

Another object was dragged across his ear and made a small beeping sound. Tony felt something dangle from his ear. Marked like a dog he was.

 “Good. Take him to number 247, he has the same destination as the slave there.”

 The guards holding his chains started walking, Tony in their midst. He moved like in a dream, not really feeling the world around him, pulse throbbing in his ears and breath heavy.

_If this is some kind of kinky dream, I want to wake up._

But it wasn't and he knew that. It felt too real.

 He followed his captors without making trouble, what should he do anyway? Vaguely he noticed how they walked along long hallways, stood in an elevator and walked more hallways. When the group stopped he almost ran into the reptile before him, so engrossed in his thoughts he was.

To his right he heard a key turning in a lock and the opening of a door.

 

Turning him to that side and pushing him through the door, the reptiles loosened his chains and pulled him forward by them. He almost fell, when his foot hit something warm and soft lying on the floor.

 “Welcome your new cellmate”, one of the creatures said, then pushed Tony to his knees beside something on the floor. _Another person then._ He was still wondering if he could communicate with that person, when he was further pushed down to the floor – a smooth surface, like a mattress – next to the other person. They pulled his arms around his cellmate and chained them in a mock embrace behind the persons back. Their legs were entwined and bound, eventually he also felt the other persons arms around him, similarly chained behind his back. Their captors checked the chains, then added another that seemingly linked their collars close together.

His cheek got pressed against the other's, so he could feel that he or she -he, definitely a he, judging by the crotch area that was pressed to his upper thigh – was also gagged and probably also blindfolded.

 Tony felt a needle prod his arm, then it broke skin and was shoved deep. At first he wondered what they pumped into him, but judging by the murmurs of his captors, this was to be is first meal on this ship. So they would nurture him even without taking the gag off.

 A sheet was carelessly thrown over them before their captors shared some murmured words, then left the small cell. The door was locked and then there was silence; aside from his own and the other person's breathing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick update this time, but I had this amlost ready when I posted the other one.
> 
> Should I put specific warnings at the start of the next chapters?


	3. The Unknown

Even throughout all the time of Tony's sexually _very_ active youth, he has never felt as awkward as he did this moment. He lay stiff and still closely entwined with a stranger, in a cell, on an interplanetary spaceship on his way to being sold as a slave.

They were pressed closely together from head to toe, arms entwined around one another and firmly held in place. He felt his cock lying still against the man's thigh and vice versa. He didn't dare move.

The person next to him seemed feel the same way. Aside from the gentle movement of his breathing and the faint heartbeat against his chest, he didn't move a muscle. Where Tony's arms laid snugly against the stranger's body he felt tense muscles.

Tony was still in shock from the earlier proceedings, but he felt soreness creep into his limbs and ultimately started to relax as his body came off from its adrenaline high. A small headache was forming, consequence of the stress he had had to endure.

 

They lay in silence, still as statues for a prolonged time, until some muscles in Tony's legs decided to twitch nervously. Immediately he tried to stifle the movement but it only got worse and in the end he shuffled his leg a bit – cradled between soft thighs – and moved it as much as the chains allowed to get rid of the feeling. At his movement he felt the other man tense nervously.

He huffed out a laugh through his nose then shook his head slightly. Since he had no idea how long their predicament would last there was no reason to make this any more uncomfortable than it already was. He would not try and be tense and still for god knows how many days.

So he turned his head a little to a position, that, could he see, would face the other person directly and nodded his head. Their noses touched at the movement and he got an idea. Didn't the Inuit use this as greeting? It was at least a form of communication he could use to make contact.

Tony started gently rubbing his nose against the other man's, who seemed surprised and tensed even more if that was possible, but in the end got the idea. His subtle greeting was reciprocated reluctantly.

 

First contact, check. Tony's social skills once again on the way to save the day. He had no idea who that person was, but seriously he couldn't be worse than the slavers. This was a potential ally, on the way to the very same person who paid money to get him. On the other hand getting to know this person despite the hindering circumstances was something that took his mind from the situation as a whole, something he could put his energy into.

Feeling now a little more familiar with the stranger, he allowed his body to relax more. He took some deep breaths and let his hand wander over the other's back, wanting him to relax, too. He used his nose again to nudge him a little. Pretty late he realized that his actions could be viewed as sexual. _Bullcrap. He must realize that I am in no position to do anything here... much less want._

 

A little insistence in this case proved right, as he gradually felt the stranger release the tension from his body. A nudge from the nose confirmed that the message had been received.

 

Tony started making a mental image of his companion; he was definitely lean and pretty tall, since Tony couldn't feel the other's feet. His skin was smooth, though he could feel scar tissue across his back.

As Tony repositioned himself to move his muscles and find a more comfortable position, he felt wisps across the person's upper back. So he had at least shoulder length hair. He smelled pleasant, but of nothing specific Tony could put his finger on. His cellmate also sported the same bonds as he, probably a standard for all slaves on the ship.

As far as the strangers gender there was no doubt, a flaccid but long cock lay in the curve of Tony's hip, surrounded by a nest of soft curly hair. Tony wondered if the other person was also human, he didn't find any indicator that would state otherwise.

Come to think of it, maybe the kidnappers wanted celebrities? Tony was fairly popular and well known on Earth, maybe his companion was also? He made a list in his head of what famous people from earth might share the body type of his companion.

 

While deep in his contemplations he noticed that the stranger was also making himself familiar with his new cellmate. He felt how the other discreetly took in his smell and carefully moved his arms around his back. Good, so the other didn't have unfounded fears of contact. Wouldn't do him any good now anyway.

Their chains did not allow too much movement, so the mapping of each others body was a short affair. Still not having a clue how to measure time, Tony sighed and settled against the other person. He didn't know if he would be able to sleep; to say that his last hours were less than stellar was keeping it lightly.

What kept his flashbacks of Afghanistan at bay was the closeness of a stranger who was on his side (probably). Whatever he had to endure, he was not alone, he would have another person at his side to keep him grounded. He could concentrate on how to rescue them both, he could look after another person to keep himself motivated.

 

The more he thought about his companion, the less he had to think about himself. About his life that he wanted to change. About friends and lost lovers that had been friends once, but ultimately weren't able to cope with his life. It would be easy to give up.

But he would _not_ give up. He was a fighter, he had something to fight for. He would escape this mess and afterwards stand tall and proud, as he always did so far.

_Like the fucking phoenix from the ashes, Tony. Banzai._

He would escape. He would.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Somewhere along the line of his mind's ramblings, he must have fallen into an uneasy sleep. It was a weird state of transcendence between waking and sleeping, sometimes stirring a little but mostly laying still and wishing to go back to sleep.

His cellmate was not so lucky. First he didn't move for what felt like hours, but as time slipped by, Tony heard little distressed noises coming from the person's throat. Then came the twitching and with it, little moans that sounded pained. Tony felt fully awake again and ran his hand gently along the other's spine, using his nose simultaneously to nudge his face.

After a while the stranger seemed to wake from his nightmares and tried to shift away with little panicked motions. Then he seemed to realize that he could hardly move, he rattled his chains and let out something close to a sob, before forcing his body to still and concentrating on Tony's presence.

Tony meanwhile was doing his best to hug the person to his chest which turned out to be no easy task, seeing as the other was taller than him. The arms encircling him began to exert slight pressure, the person obviously trying to strengthen their contact.

They settled again next to each other. Tony felt the other's heartbeat thrumming against his chest and tried to make shushing noises with his throat. It worked, in the end.

They lay cheek to cheek in the darkness, breathing deeply and calming down. Tony felt how the head beside his was turned and a nose gently prodded his cheek. A silent “thank you”. Or maybe a “sorry I woke you up”, he wasn't sure. But hey, they had plenty of time to get to know each other.

 

* * *

 

 

He had no idea how much time passed by. They dozed, they slept, they woke in different intervals until neither of them seemed to be tired anymore. There was no means of entertainment whatsoever. Sometimes he heard footsteps outside their cell, sometimes he heard murmuring, rattling of chains from all around them but in their little room everything was quiet. Tony entertained the thought of moving around to see how big or small the room around them were, but he had no idea how to communicate this to the person he was chained to. They would have to move together, somehow. Not an easy feat.

Tony decided to christen his cellmate “Bob”. It was an easy name, and as good as any, as he had no idea who the person next to him was. As long as their captors didn't call them by name “Bob” would have to do. It was also a little funny. He could use fun in this situation.

 

 

He guessed that maybe twelve hours had passed since his incarceration, time enough to adapt a little. He was nothing if not flexible. Soon he learned that it had a soothing effect on him when he ran his hands over the other's torso. The smooth rise and fall of breathing, the faint heartbeat, the warmth of the other's skin all did wonders to Tony's nerves. “Bob” apparently had no problem with it either, also reciprocated sometimes, if shyly so.

He was idly stroking “Bob's” ribcage – a habit he had picked up surprisingly quick – when he heard footsteps outside followed by the sound of a key and the unlocking of their celldoor. The both of them tensed immediately.

A person entered the small room and bent over them. Tony felt how the chains attaching his arms to one another were unlocked and pulled free. Once he wasn't attached to “Bob” anymore, he was shoved unceremoniously backwards. His back almost immediately hit the wall. So their cell was really fucking small. Figured.

The mattress under him shifted as the guard fiddled around with “Bob”. He seemed to shift him, or to turn him around, something Tony was not able to make a full picture of in his head. Then he himself was pulled forward again, until he was practically spooning his cellmate. “Bob's” arms were pulled backwards and around Tony, then chained together behind Tony's back. His own arms were pulled forward, around the other's torso and loosely chained there.

The guard bent over them again and scanned the piece of whatever hardware it was that had been clipped into their ears. Two “beeps” later he felt the needle's sting again. He figured that it was meal time again, then.

 

They were left in silence again, Tony's thoughts racing again. The pieces in their ears had to hold an ID that identified them for their captors. Maybe the ID also held information about nurture levels, it would explain that they got fed after the scanning process. _Highlight of the day,_ Tony thought bitterly.

He carefully took in their new position. It pretty clearly conveyed to him how much taller the other person really was, he guessed a whole foot at least. His hair was smooth and long, though slightly straggly. He had probably been in here at least a few days before Tony had been captured. Or maybe he just didn't shower regularly, or he was a street bum. No, Tony preferred his first theory.

Tony's hands now could roam almost freely along his front, and after a short period of consideration he threw his scruples into the wind and just did so.

He felt lean and wiry muscle on what was probably an admirable physique, maybe just a little too lithe for its height. In his exploration Tony also found a navel and a trail of short hair under it that led to the more private parts of his companion. The navel was another indicator for his theory that he was incapacitated with a fellow human.

 

“Bob” wriggled a bit and made little noises in the back of his throat when Tony's hands wandered down his body and stopped just short of his cock. Ok, maybe Tony was being too intrusive. He let his hands wander up again and let his fingers carefully search for the other man's throat. On his way up he passed two firm nipples standing at attention. _Definitely too intrusive, Tony._

He fingered a metal-clad jaw, locked just as tightly by a gag as his own. He could not reach further up, for his chains didn't allow him that much range, but he guessed it would have to have do. Tony settled his hands about waist high on “Bob's” body and played a well behaving big spoon behind his companion.

 

 

* * *

 

 

It grew into a routine. After an indefinite amount of hours passed, they would be repositioned and fed, then left alone again. Tony counted these cycles and loosely adapted it as a concept of time. Tony mused that the repositioning was a necessary evil for their captors, to avoid muscle cramps and tissue problems from lack of movement.

Between the feeding and repositioning they mostly dozed or explored the other's body for lack of any visual stimulation. The scruples both of them had in the beginning were slowly melting away, the constant closeness to the other was making them familiar quicker than conversations or visual stimuli would enable them to.

Eight of those cycles Tony counted since his arrival in this cell. He came to know “Bob's” body better than those of all of his lovers combined in that time. He memorized every dip of skin, every push of bone beneath the skin, every sensitive area that made the other feel at ease.

 

The sensory deprivation did wonders for his perception of body language. They had established a code of communication with nudges of their noses, calming movements, hugs and simultaneous muscle stretching if one of them cramped.

Laying closely chained to another being all the time quickly initiated a closeness he thought he'd never be able to experience. Since his ordeal at the hands of Obadiah he had monumental trust issues, especially where the reactor was concerned.

The first time Tony had played little spoon, “Bob” immediately had taken the opportunity to explore his body. He carefully touched his fingers around and then over Tony's arc reactor, obviously puzzled by the object. Tony's heart had beaten fast and hard, the other had to have felt that and was extra careful.

Nervously he waited for a reaction, but the other just settled again and stroked his hands carefully along Tony's sides. He smiled around his gag and eased just a little further back, almost snuggled against his cellmate. A silent thanks to the other, who did not prod at or recoil from the strange object embedded in his body.

This quite positive incident involving the reactor, coupled with the time they've spent together, had the pleasant effect to rid him of any qualms about his companion. Each of them tended to have nightmares and the other was there for them, a calming gesture and familiar touch in the darkness. Tony almost felt safe in the presence of his cellmate.

His body was constantly relaxed now, all shyness gone. He had never been too unsure of his body (though the reactor and the gruesome scar tissue around it had lately intimidated him a little), but his newly complete lack of qualms surprised him.

 

 

The tenth time the door opened, Tony laid on top of “Bob” and awoke from the sound of the lock opening. He was unceremoniously hoisted back- and upwards, pulling the other man with him by the chains connecting them. They were pulled out of their cell into the hallway, where the sound of many people shuffling around and murmuring was heard.

It took the guard a short time to dis- and reconnect their chains so they could walk independently next to each other, hands tied behind their backs. A chain was attached to each of their collars and they were pulled forward roughly, stumbling along their guard.

They were not the only ones being pulled along the hallway, judging from the commotion around them.

A good while of being pulled or shoved along hallways, elevator rides – or what felt like them - and several controls of their IDs later, they found themselves in a warm and damp room. The splashing of water was heard before them, aswell as the clanking of chains and rustling of bodies next to them.

 

Without time to realize what was happening, they were shoved forwards right into a pool of water. Tony flailed about helplessly and felt “Bob” next to him do the same. Then he was grabbed by strong hands and held still in the water, his head luckily above the waterline.

Across from him he heard splashing noises and muffled grunts - if there was a sound that just screamed “manhandling”, he just heard it. Whatever they did to his cellmate, he didn't like it.

The hands holding him roamed his body and _cleaned_ him. Again, without is consent and without regard for his privates. They scrubbed and cleaned him, even soaped his whole body and used something that should probably represent shampoo on his hair.

This was the second time they roughly cleaned him, the first being the humiliation-heavy one when he had arrived, and again he felt abused. His body was clean, but he felt dirty anyway. Tony let his body slump in the vice grip of the creature and wished for the procedure to end.

 

After a short while he was hoisted out of the water again and placed in front of a vent that dried him. Several moments later his cellmate seemed to join him. They were chained again and it sounded like the next batch of prisoners was led into the bath. _So today is washday, huh. Ten circles at least before the next one. I hope it's gonna take longer than that._

They were brought back to their cell much like they were took from it. The mattress in their room smelled a little fresher also, so at least their captors were concerned about hygiene.

They were chained ridiculously tight, front to front, limbs entwined. Tony relished the closeness this time and clung to “Bob” closely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing complete chapters without dialog is a pain, really.


	4. Change

The forced process of washing never failed to leave them both uncomfortable. Tony was right in his assumption that “washing day” repeated itself about every ten cycles. It was a time where the whole ship was brimming with life since all slaves were cleaned. They had lived through the process four times now. Their days were dull and repetitive, the only anchor to ground them was the other person.

They were always in need of comfort after they were returned to their cell and automatically cuddled close together. Tony wondered, if there was ever a person he had opened himself to as much as he did to “Bob”. It was crazy, thinking about Pepper, thinking about Rhodey and maybe even Bruce, whom he considered his closest friends, but still they never grounded him like this, they never gave him the same comfort. Well, if he was completely honest with himself, they probably would, if he were to share this situation with them instead of a stranger. As it was, he was content with his companion.

It reminded him painfully of Yinsen, but in an intimate way. Tony swore to take this person with him when he escaped. When, not if. He would. And he would do everything in his might to save this person that granted him solace in his desolate world.

 

 

After the fifth day of washing, Tony had enough. He struggled more than usually, wanted, _needed_ something to break the routine that was pure pressure on his nerves. The guards never hit them. They couldn't afford to damage their cargo, he struggled, and kicked and did his best to disrupt the order, since there were no consequences to bear.

It did not work. The slavers' patience was unparalleled and his strength was far below theirs. Tony felt like a fly, a nuisance but not a threat. All he got for his troubles was the prick from a needle and a substance in his bloodstream, that numbed his muscles enough to make him lame.

Hanging limply in the arms of their captors, he was washed and examined anyway, just with the added humiliation of not even being able to show his unease. It had to be one of the most demotivating things that had happened to him since the reactor became a part of his body.

They dragged him back to the cell like he was nothing more than a sack of sand. He was thrown into the cell unceremoniously, before the door was locked. They didn't even feel the need to chain him. Was he really that ridiculous to them? It was a sign to him, he was sure. To show him how measly he was.

Halfway through pitying himself, he was about to give up hope.

 

Then he took in his position. He was half sitting, half kneeling next to his companion, for the first time free to roam the cell. A short inspection of their humble accommodations revealed, that the room was not only small, it was tiny. He was not able to outstretch his arms to full length, so the rooms width wasn't even five foot. It had to be about seven or eight foot long, and maybe six foot high. And it seemed to be only one of many. Considering the length of the corridors there was room for plenty of living cargo on the mothership.

He had stood up to take his measurements and now knelt down again. The drug they used to subdue him left his system quickly, so he felt good to roam about a bit.

Tony fumbled around on the floor a little until he took a hold of “Bobs” knee. He felt riled up enough to take advantage of his freedom while he had it and explored long, long legs with his hands.

Groping his way up his companion's body, he tried to make out how he was chained. As it turned out, they had simply bound his hands behind his back and chained his ankles tightly together. Even prolonged prodding did nothing to release the restrains, so there was nothing he could do.

It was the first time he could get a complete image of the other's body. He stroked a comforting hand along the other's side, then settled himself next to him and let his hands roam about the upper body before him. He took in the feeling of long, straight hair, sharp cheekbones, even features and the long, smooth nose he was already familiar with.

Tony stroked his hands along a long, wiry neck, a prominent collarbone and eventually let them rest on a smoothly moving chest. One hand wandered up again, over the throat and behind the ear, letting his fingertips dig into the scalp again and massaged the tendons he found underneath.

 

That's when he felt the other's breath hitching. The pulse under his hand fluttered quicker than it should normally. Feeling cheeky, he laid down completely, pulling his companion to lie on his side. He kept groping until he reached one of the hands bound to his back and laced his fingers through the other's.

Tony's other hand however wandered down the toned torso, brushed lightly over his navel then went boldly further down to bury itself in the curls there. He found a hardening prick and languidly took hold of it. To reassure himself he squeezed the hand he was holding, and when he received a squeeze in return he took it as a sign to continue.

He stroked the cock to full hardness, then took a firm grip of the length and pumped in earnest. The sounds “Bob” was making were soft, but delicious, little throaty whimpers spurting him on and puffs of hot breath tickling the skin of Tony's face.

With each pump he swiped his thumb over the sensitive head, an action that earned him a buck of hips and a deep, vibrating moan every time.

Letting go of the hand, Tony eagerly turned his companion onto his back again and straddled his legs. His own cock was rapidly hardening, thanks to the needy sounds he was eliciting from the other. He realized how he had missed this, there had been intimacy in their situation, but this was a step further; it was a more direct form of contact and solace.

 

Tony positioned his prick next to the other's and took them both in hand. With his free hand he began to roll and massage “Bob's” balls between his fingers. The response he got was amazing. The hips he was practically sitting on were slowly undulating, but with a hidden power he hadn't expected from the lean man beneath him. He rolled his hips to create more friction between them; the sounds his partner uttered prompted him to wish that cursed gag away from his mouth. He sounded gorgeous, throaty, hoarse and somehow familiar.

His own breathing already hitched after a short while, well no wonder there, he has not been sexually active for a while now. Also the last time he had lain with a man dated back a few years at least. Nevertheless he enjoyed toying with his partners balls, rolling them between his fingers and giving them loving tucks and twists and still all the while stroking their lengths together in a quick and firm rhythm.

The body beneath him arched toward him, hips bucking and torso writhing. His moans sounded desperate and a bit choked, he was huffing as much air though his nose as he could. Tony felt heady with the rush of arousal he had missed for so long, the lack of air he could breathe in through his nose wasn't exactly helping matters.

He worked their cocks together, gathering precome with his thumb and rubbed it with increasing pressure over their heads. His prick was swollen and pulsing, the delicious friction felt like sweet torture.

Blood rushed in his ears and his rhythm faltered, becoming frenzied and desperate. More and more blood rushed into his nether regions and finally he felt his balls tighten shortly before his orgasm hit him with full force. He twitched involuntarily while shooting ropes of spunk over the body beneath. His hand kept pumping through his orgasm and only stopped when he was too sensitive to continue. Sitting back straight he took a minute to catch his breath, relishing in the whining sounds he heard from the other man. He now focused his whole attention on the person still waiting for release. The hips beneath him still undulated upwards, searching for friction.

 

Tony groped his way around the other's body until his hands found the erection again; one hand took it in its grip again, the other wandered between his legs where he kneaded the balls with the palm of his hand while he used two fingers to massage the perineum. The whines turned into chocked moans again, the lean body twitched and bucked under his ministrations.

His assault didn't last long, after just a few strokes he felt his partner tense and shudder violently, coating the fingers of his hand with come. He stroked “Bob” through his orgasm and just let go of him, once the whimpers of pleasure turned to ones of overstimulation.

He leant down and forward until he could nudge his nose to the other's. Tony's innards felt all warm and fuzzy. With a pleased sigh he grabbed their sheet and cleaned the other body of their semen, then turned it to its clean side and pulled it over them. He was slowly coming down from his high and felt tired, his partner apparently feeling the same as his breathing slowed down to normal levels.

They laid together in the afterglow, foreheads touching, fully contend for the moment. Their sleep was fortunately free of nightmares or other disturbances.

 

 

Tony's freedom didn't last long, after all. The next time they were repositioned and fed he was chained with his back to his partner's chest, his hands bound before him. Arms encircled him from behind and were chained to his, their legs entangled again.

If their capturers had noticed their activity, they didn't mention it. It was probably none of their business, as long as their slaves were fine.

Once the door was closed again, he felt a nose press against his neck that slowly stroked up and down just under his hairline. Goosebumps prickled all over Tony's skin from the touch and he snuggled closer to the other.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Their days did not become any brighter, but they found a new way to pass the time. As long as their chains allowed them any movement, they rutted against each other, if they could move their hands their explorations of each other's body became increasingly sexual aside from cuddling on a regular basis.

Tony felt how the other person slowly became his world, and he thought to notice a similar effect in his cellmate. The other was a beacon in the dark to him, a guide, a saviour. Over time their bodies seemed to become one, they pleasured each other without thinking anything of it. His companion came to know what he liked best and vice versa. He had never before in his life been this affectionate with someone.

 

It was a shocking revelation once he thought about it. A complete stranger – he didn't even know what he looked like or what his real name was - had managed to get closer to his heart than any other (even with Pepper he had reservations. The ruin of his chest was a thing of nightmares and he has been uncharacteristically shy about that).

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Time passed. Tony now had counted a total of eleven cycles of washing that amounted to one hundred and ten cycles of feeding, and since he came to think of those as days, it meant.... yes, he was captured here, on a slaveship for about 110 days. Almost a third of a year. Sometimes he wondered if somebody was searching for him. They must have seen the camera footage JARVIS had of the assault.

But even if, would they be able to follow him? Though humanity had now proof of extraterrestrial live, they still had never travelled farther than the moon. And even if they built a spaceship and sent it after him, it would have no trail to follow. No, if he was to escape this, he would have to do so on his own. He already accepted the idea that they had to reach their destination first, as he saw it there was no way he could leave this ship.

The only occasions they were led out of the cell they were under heavy guard and blinded, so it was no use. He hadn't even found a way to get free of their bonds yet. They seemed to require a special key to be removed.

 

He was lost in thoughts when he heard the sound of the door being unlocked. The old procedure of getting scanned and needle-fed was nothing exciting anymore. That they were pulled to their feet and let out of the cell was tough. They just got washed two cycles ago, so this was clearly a change of the routine.

The guards took them in another direction as usual, they walked for a short time only to end up in a room that was probably unfamiliar. He heard voices and was pressed down to sit on a vertical surface, tiled as it seemed. They had chained his hands behind his back and attached them to a wall. As if he was to run out here blindly.

A big hand grabbed his jaw and pulled his head forward so his chin almost rested on his chest. Something was inserted into his blindfold at the back of his head.

 

“Open your eyes carefully, they have to get used to the light first”, a gruff voice told him.

Tony felt the contraption around his eyes loosen, a strange feeling after getting used to it for so long. He pressed his eyes closed at the air that suddenly hit skin that hadn't been exposed to it for a long time. Through his eyelids he noticed the room was only lit dimly, probably for him to adjust easier.

 

He did't dare to open his eyes. It sounded ridiculous even to himself, but he was _afraid_ of opening his eyes. Gulping he sat up straighter and tried to be strong. He had to do this. It was his first step to freedom. Just as he was brave enough to open his eyes the tiniest slit possible, the creature began to talk again.

“We almost reached your destination. It will take a bit of time until your full eyesight returns, so we give you time to adjust. We have to make sure that nothing is amiss with your eyes.”

 

He still fought the impulse to just close his eyes again. Bit for bit he opened them further, holding his head low to shield them further from the light. The wider he opened them, the more it stung. The air hitting his unprotected eyes felt overly dry and harsh. Everything was blurry and shady, his retinas felt like someone had glued them to his eyelids from he inside. For a moment he feared he would never be able to see normally again.

The situation wasn't improved by the fact that he now could make out several tall shadows looming around him, watching his progress.

Someone sprayed a little water in his face. While it was nothing brutal, he twitched and made a surprised noise in his throat. He blinked again, several times. With the added water it was easier to open up further and slowly the burning sensation subsided. No water then, it seemed to have been a potion, since his vision improved drastically. Almost there, just a little bit more and he would be able to see again.

 

Breathing deeply he opened his eyes fully and stared ahead of him. He couldn't hold them open for long, but it was a beginning. Still everything around him was blurry, but it got better my the minute. He took his time to adjust and finally was able to turn his gaze upward, right to where the faces of his captors had to be.

One of them stepped closer to him and took his face in his hands. He took a long and examining look into his eyes, then waved a finger in front of his face. Instinctively his pupils followed to object, obviously happy to be used again after such a long while.

 

The sensation of seeing was almost unbearable. He felt overstimulated from sight alone. Tony still blinked a lot, but it got better quickly. His sight wasn't sharp, but he could make out enough to find his way if need be. The further away an object was, the worse he could see it, but surely that would pass, too.

The creature who had examined him apparently was satisfied with his progress, because he was left alone then. The group of people turned to the person next to him. His companion in this time of desperation. Just a few moments and he would be able to see him for the first time.

 

Tony found he could not look at him. For some unknown reason his heart beat heavily, he felt nervous despite himself. He was finally able to see his partner and friend and now he got bad nerves? He closed his eyes again, then heard how the blindfold of his companion was removed. He braced himself and turned his head in anticipation. One of the creatures was standing in his line of sight, but took the blindfold from its peer who had removed it and stepped back, revealing a pale figure sitting on a nearby table, also chained to the wall.

The man shook his head as if to clear it and squinted his eyes shut. His long black hair was brushed back by one of the creatures, while he went through the same process as Tony just moments ago.

Tony's face went slack as he recognized the person on the table. A person he came to think of as a friend, a partner. A person that had helped him through a hard time. A person he _slept with._ A person that had tried to enslave humanity and thrown him out of his own window. That had almost killed one of the few SHIELD agents that actually were nice.

 

On the table next to his he saw _Loki._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And another one almost without dialogue!  
> Bad place to stop, I know. I'll try to get the next one done till the weekend!


	5. Desperation

It was like someone had pulled a rug from under his feet. If said rug was his one big dependency in his life at this point. He was aware that he was staring disbelievingly at his cellmate, who was blinking heavily and just as disoriented as himself.

The creatures checked Loki's eyes and sprayed him with the water-like substance, before leaving him to his own devices.

Tony's ears were ringing, his whole focus was concentrated on the person next to him, thoughts racing. He was no stranger to betrayal, but it hurt again every damn time. The person he came attached to, being Loki all the time? Tony felt dirty, he felt confused, _betrayed._

Anger burned in his gut and hot and red. He wasn't even aware of his surroundings anymore. He just waited for Loki to turn his head and look at him. Did he know? Had he been aware of his identity? He had _touched_ the fucking reactor! Did he recognize it? What was he even doing here? Was it a plot, revenge for his defeat?

 

Slowly Loki's head turned toward him; still blinking heavily, he raised his head and looked at Tony through tired looking eyes. He took in Tony and the first thing happening was that his forehead scrunched up in a frown. Next his eyes wandered to the arc reactor and then to Tony's face, searching it, almost looking hopeful, before they were closed glumly. When he opened them once again the expression of regret seemed real, but the mask of indifference that almost immediately slid down over his features looked trained. Loki's face was blank, betrayed no emotion. _Son of a bitch._

Had he _hoped_ that Tony would _accept_ him?

Their silent staring match was interrupted by their captors who now unchained them from the wall and walked them back to their cell. They walked next to each other, but trying to get as much space between them as possible. His sight was still blurry around the edges and harsh lighting hurt his sensitive retinas, but he saw enough to be able to take a good view or his surroundings. Not much exciting stuff to see though, only a long, long grey hall littered with small doors. Eventually they stopped before a door that to him looked just like all the others, but when the aliens opened it, he presumed it to be their cell.

 

For the first time in what had to be months, Tony was reluctant to seek closeness. The revelation changed everything. Had he seriously sworn to save Loki of all people when he would flee? No, that bastard deserved everything bad that happened to him.

He watched emotionless how Loki was shoved to the floor of their cell (now that he could actually see it, he felt claustrophobia creep into his bones). The creatures chained Loki's collar to the wall, then turned him on his side and bound his hands and ankles together, an uncomfortable position from the looks of it.

The delight at Loki's distress didn't last long though, he was shoved inside, too, and laid down right before the other, facing him. He glared at Loki while his arms were pulled around the other's torso and chained tightly. They attached chains to his legs and bound them together, then he also was connected to the wall via his collar. Now that they were able to see their captors seemed to become more careful. They even linked their gags together, he had no way to avoid looking at Loki, whose cheeks burned red with humiliation.

The creatures obviously had seen their distress and now enjoyed being sadistic to their two slaves who knew each other. At least Tony thought it must be that way.

It was ridiculous how his perception of his cellmate had changed within mere minutes. He felt disgusted, deeply dirty and wanted to turn back time. Thinking that he has been intimate with this abomination of a person...

Before the reptiles left them, they injected them with two needles, one being their regular food, the other numbing their limbs to keep them pliant. Tony noticed that Loki's dose was almost thrice as big as his own. Asgardian super-tissue apparently made you more resilient against anything.

 

Left alone and locked in their cell, they were tense again, as much as the sedation allowed them to. Tony kept glaring at Loki, whose eyes were glassy and tired, trying to avoid him. He was sure Loki knew their destination, the shame he saw on the other man's face was a telltale sign.

Despite knowing that it was relatively pointless, he tried to bring distance between them. He turned his eyes away and did his best to keep his hands away from the other's back.

 

 

Tony did not know when he fell asleep, but this time his dreams were haunting him again. He awoke when he thrashed about in his chains. Faces chased him through his dreams, dead friends who had helped him, dead friends who had betrayed him and again and again, the devilish visage of Loki just before he was thrown through his own window and fell. Only in his dreams his suit did not arrive in time and he kept falling and falling, not even seeing the ground. In his ears rang Loki's laugh, his voice “ _You will all fall before me!_ ”.

And when he opened his eyes he saw that same visage right before him, blinking sleep out of his green eyes and furrowing his brow. Not too long ago he would have comforted him, but that was before Tony was aware of his partner. Tony glared again before reluctantly closing his eyes, aiming to force sleep on his body even if he wasn't tired anymore.

Loki did not have those qualms, he returned to sleep slowly after his involuntary awakening.

 

Sometime later distressed noises were coming from Loki's throat and sweat beaded on his forehead. Tony, still awake, watched him for a time, wishing him only the worst, before becoming fed up and kicking the other's thigh with his knee.

The deity woke with a start and big, round eyes, brimming with unshed tears. However he regained control of his facial features after an astoundingly short while, gulped and sent a glare at Tony, before stubbornly closing his eyes again.

They both feigned sleep. Neither of them slept again after their waking, and the other surely knew that, but it was better to pretend than to deal with the other. Tony hoped their journey didn't last long now, the situation just had gotten unbearably worse.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Another cycle passed and Tony kept his mind busy by ranting about Loki in his head. The other's face was a blank mask, unreadable and lost in thought, though always looking tired due to some stuff they injected him with on a regular basis. He supposed Loki was scheming, now that their destination wasn't far anymore. Tony built up walls as best as he could, whatever stunt the other would pull, he would be ready. He wouldn't give him the satisfaction of getting the upper hand, once they left this ship. Loki had the advantage to know where they headed, but that didn't necessarily mean he would be in control.

Tony rallied up his hate as best as he could, it was the only thing grounding him now. For a reason he could not put his finger on, his heart ached. So he was alone again, after all. But he would live through this. After all it wasn't the first time he was left to his own devices. He would leave this situation stronger than before.

The times he wasn't fuming with hate and loneliness, his mind wandered to the immediate future. He spent some time trying to guess who would want him as a slave. Not that he didn't have his qualities, but who would sent someone all the way through space to kidnap him? Maybe some alien race seeking an engineer. Or a Sex god to pray to. But why would they also want Loki? Maybe they were building a pantheon of snark?

Tony didn't plan before he knew more about his future situation. All he knew was that it was in all probability going to be an improvement to being chained to a naked enemy.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

After another cycle they were sleeping deeply - well, as deeply as the situation allowed - when the door opened and they were woken violently. Still shaking sleep from him, Tony was hurled outside the cell and pushed along the corridor, a guard holding his arm and the chain from his collar firmly in his hands. Behind him the same probably happened to Loki. In the hall he noticed the improvements his sight had gone through, the bright light did not hurt anymore and edges had become sharp again.

They were led down the corridor to their right, Tony now saw that it ended in some kind of goods lift. When they stepped inside, they were framed by bulky guards, watching them closely as if to make sure nothing would go wrong.

Tony took the time to survey the posture of his cellmate. Loki looked resigned and somehow defeated, his shoulders were slumped and he was avoiding Tony actively. Despite the trust they had built over months and the self-confidence he had gotten regarding his body, he now found himself turning away, hiding his body from the other.

They had been so fucking intimate, it was a disaster. Loki had touched the reactor with his own hands, explored it even. He was sure Barton had told the god of the device and how many damn humans would have something like that in their chest? Loki had known who he was from the moment he had fingered the device. That was how long ago? He had - Tony fumed with rage when thinking about it, Loki had willingly _slept with him_ , despite knowing who he was!

He had treated him so well! They had both treated each other so well, it was really creepy now that he actually knew...

The thoughts of Loki stroking his body, caressing him with the backs of his fingers or outright cuddling with him now depressed Tony and made him feel filthy. He had given him such warmth and hope... but it had been insincere hadn't it? Loki had played him like an instrument in more than one way.

He wondered about the other' s motives, when the lift arrived at another level, opening to reveal a hexagon room with six closed doors. The guards pushed them forward out of the lift to stand before a door, that was opened as soon as the elevator was gone upwards.

 

Another reptile alien clad in green ropes opened the door and scanned both of their ears. After the beep it took a look at the graphic interface of the scanner and nodded. They were shoved into the room then.

Apparently the scent of disinfectant and medicine was the same no matter where in the galaxy you were cruising aground. He saw several metallic tables, strange instruments and a few more reptiles wearing the green robes. It looked like the freakiest surgery Tony had ever seen.

They were placed next to each other, standing straight and held there, while the “doctor alien” surrounded their bodies, scrutinising and slowly, scribbling things on a clipboard. Tony was then suddenly hoisted backwards and placed on a table, where an alien grunted an order at him to stay put. One of the guards stood next to him and held his chains, while the others were concerned with Loki.

The god's hands were chained together and the chain thrown over a hook on the ceiling. The hook, as it turned out, could be pulled upwards. They stretched his body fully, in the end he tried to balance on his tiptoes, but the contraption was pulled higher still until he could do nothing more than hang there.

Tony watched his cellmate struggle slightly, but giving up rather quickly when the reptiles crowded him. The green robed ones stepped nearer and one of them got down to one knee behind the god, touching along first Loki's feet then slowly up his legs, all the while pressing and stroking along skin, muscle and tendons. I appeared to be checking his body in detail. Sometimes it grunted something unintelligible that prompted another one to scribble on the clipboard.

When it had reached the upper thighs, it wandered down again and seemed to test the reflexes of his soles, grinning and nodding satisfied, when the suspended body twitched violently. Tony would have found that funny, if he didn't know that he was probably next.

The alien continued its examination by bending Loki's hips, rotating his legs as much as they would give and checking the joints. Afterwards it spread the god's buttocks unceremoniously and tested the flesh, before inserting a dry finger and doing something Tony wasn't able to see, but dreaded already. Loki squirmed in his bonds and let out an uneasy sound from his throat which was ignored.

His situation didn't get any better though, as the alien pulled its finger back and continued to grope its way to his front, where it checked his genitals and did another thing Tony didn't see, this time making Loki squeal lowly in surprise.

 

Scribbling on the clipboard again, then another alien stepped into view that ran its hands about the deity's torso, pinching and testing the tissue, checking for whatever it was they searched for. Tony didn't know how to feel about the fact, that he could imagine exactly what the reptile felt at the moment. He fucking knew what Loki's body felt like!

He could probably also tell them that there were no tissue problems, he knew the body they were examining almost as good as his own.

He shook the thought from him. It was a disgusting thought.

 

Loki's head was yanked backwards by his hair and one large alien stepped onto a stool to be able to watch his face from above. The look Loki gave the alien was almost comical, all hard glares and scorn, but the creature was having none of it and shone a bright light into his eyes, before poking something small into his ears which again made Loki twitch.

Another alien stepped behind him now, a kind of clamp in its hand that it used to press around Loki's spine, vertebra by vertebra.

After that the procedure was finished and the first alien that had greeted them stepped behind the suspended god and inserted a long needle into his spine. Tony watched, how the tension left the other's body and how his eyes slowly fell closed, though he fought against it.

When his body wasn't responding to any further prodding they lowered the hook from the ceiling and took Loki from it. He hung limp like a doll in their arms and was discarded onto a table in the back of the room.

 

Then they turned to Tony.

He wanted to back away, but of course it was in vain. Tony quickly found himself hanging from the ceiling from the very same hook they had used already. It wasn't like he didn't know why they were doing this; it was the easiest way to access the whole body without disturbances... but that didn't mean he liked it.

He got the helpless feeling of not being able to control his own actions again when he felt the cold and scaly fingers grope up and down his legs, checking between every toe and testing the joints. He tried to imagine himself somewhere else, getting a massage... it didn't work. His hips were moved and stretched, and though they had been moved the past months, he felt stiff and clumsy. Only when he jerked in his bonds when the reflex zone on the sole of his foot was pressed, did he feel that his body was really his anymore.

Before he could remember the procedures he had seen, his arse was parted already and he was breached by a dry, scaly finger, the burn exquisite. The intrusion was so sudden and so inherently brutal that he felt tears well up in his eyes, ones of shame and pain in equal parts.

The finger prodded and pushed and when he thought he couldn't take it any more was removed. But it was far from over, as he felt his genitals be grabbed and examined. It was like he was seeing a doctor, but without the consideration and gentleness of another human being.

He was nearly sobbing, when hands roamed his torso, pinching and stroking, though there was no semblance of a loving touch in the movement.

His head was pulled back and he stared into the visage of a reptilian alien, a gigantic head from his point of view. His eyes were blinded by light and while he was still blinking, he felt something prod his ear and send a little loud shock through him.

For a while after that he only heard weird cheeping sounds in his ears, blocking out all other noise. The reptile hovering over his face seemed to have found something, because it returned to his eyes, pulling one wide open and dropping a fluid onto it directly. He jerked the eye shut, then the procedure was repeated with the other eye.

 

When his hearing slowly returned, he felt as if his spine was measured. Pressure was exerted from two hands at his sides that pushed inward - too heavily for his body to take it - then he felt more than heard a popping vibration, before his back felt more relaxed than before.

Tony started to shiver and wished for it to end. For everything to end. He had lost his anchor of security, was instead faced with a person he had hoped he would never have to see again. He was away from home, from everyone he knew, the mad god aside. He had lost his own integrity. Wherever he was going he would not be his own master, he had Loki of all people at his side and he was alone, so alone probably at the other end of the universe.

A stinging pain shot through his back and numbed his body aswell as his thoughts. This time he relished in the feeling of losing control. He didn't know if he wished that he would not awake again, but he was close to such thoughts, as finally his consciousness left him completely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep, again without the dialogue... this will change, I promise!
> 
> I'll be busy over the weekend, so I dunno when I'll be able to update again, probably around early- mid next week.  
> I will post about update-status on my tumblr: LightOnLight.tumblr.com


	6. Wonderland

It was good to sleep. He felt utterly tired and content to stay where he was. His stressed body felt sore in all places, he just wanted to curl up and sleep forever.

Tony sensed warmth beside him and his nose took in a familiar smell. The surface he laid on was hard and unforgiving, but next to him was warmth and the softness of skin. His tired hands wandered the body next to him, feeling familiar forms and soothing structures.

Just when sleep slowly retreated from his consciousness, he remembered that he could open his eyes and see. Yes, it was still a thing of wonder after so long without it.

He did not remember why, but something in the back of his head told him not to touch the person next to him. But it was cosy where the person was. He felt the gentle up and down of its chest, the slow heartbeat and hands that encircled him languidly, caressing his back just below the shoulder blades. He would purr, felt he not so tired.

He felt unease, but couldn't tell why. There was something at the edge of his perception, a memory, a feeling close to desperation lingering in his head. Trying to shake it from him he forced the haze of drug-induced sleep from him.

 

Tony tried to remember what had happened, and why the surface he was lying on was as stiff as it was, their mattress- Oh no.

He opened his eyes carefully, looking directly into the relaxed sleeping face of Loki and jerked backwards, almost falling off the table they were lying on. Loki also immediately retracted his hands from his back and pulled them to his chest. The look on his face was one of betrayal and hurt.

Tony scoffed and tried to remain on the table, though he turned his back to Loki, careful not to touch the other in any way. It was all Loki's fault.

From his new position he could see a reptilian warden stand up and walk towards them. It spoke into a tiny black device that sat on its shoulder armour next to its mouth.

“They are awake. Ready the shuttle. Yes, all health checks were passed, cargo has no flaws.”

More aliens entered the room and took his body from the metal table. They used his dizziness and still sluggish movements to leash him to Loki and do their best to chain them so, that an escape attempt would be as futile as possible. Loki was also injected again with something that made his eyes glassy almost immediately, these bastards were nothing if not careful.

His sour mood from the day (day? Has it even been a day?) before was numbed, but still there. Just that waking up snuggling to Loki had renewed his rage and fighting spirit. He had an adversary to concentrate on and plans to cross.

Also they were on their way to the one who bought them. Whoever it was that wanted him, he or she wanted him alive and kicking. There would be a way, somehow. The most important thing now was that the tedious routine changed, they were leaving the slave ship and he had time to assess a new situation. He would not give up hope. It could hardly get worse, could it?

 

 

The green robed alien returned, only for it to pinch their ears and remove the chip that held their ID. The bonds remained though, and Tony hoped they would come off aswell, but was quickly demotivated, when they made their way out of the room and into a corridor he had not yet seen.

The reptiles led them through several hallways where he could see guards lining important looking doors, weapons in hand. At the end of the hallway they were currently walked down, he could see a large door with a wheel at its front. A guard next to that door stepped forward and began turning the wheel. It opened to reveal a large, a very large area. While stepping through, Tony took in his new surroundings. He recognized the noises, this had to be the hangar, or some kind of internal spaceport.

He could see several shuttles docking on different layers of stations along a large wall. Many of the reptilian creatures were eagerly unloading crates and barrels from the smaller shuttles, some were closed and parked in a special holding area along the ceiling. Tony also saw giant engines working locks and assembly lines. Apparently they also repaired their own shuttles, judging from the clanking noises akin to a forge. On one side of the vast area he saw a gate big enough to let the shuttles through.

It was impossible to take in everything at once, the guards leading them made haste. Apparently having slaves around that could see made them nervous. All their security measures had relied on the slave's inability to orient themselves.

They were marched quickly along the landing stage they were currently on, the shuttle prepared to transport them from the mothership open and ready. Its crew, consisting of six reptilian aliens waited next to it, showing off their guns and equipment, sending a clear signal to them that making trouble would do them no good.

The shuttle was familiar to Tony, they stopped in the airlock to change the pressure, then were moved into the cabin and eventually to a small, blank grey room inside. He was placed on the floor, back to Loki's, before they were chained together. The guards left the room and locked the door, then the humming of engines was heard.

He felt how they departed from the dock, vibrations running through the shuttle before they were moving. His heart beat quickly again, uncertain future ahead. Behind him he felt Loki's tense back and heaving ribcage, even his heartbeat felt heavy. _Not so smug now, huh._

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Their journey took surprisingly long, Tony guessed about two hours. Not enough to calm Loki down, apparently, while Tony's nervousness had long subsided and made way to boredom, the god just would not ease up, if anything his back was tensing harder by the minute. He wondered what that meant, but didn't necessarily mind it happening to his enemy. Loki probably did not like their destination, but Tony supposed the enemy of his enemy to be his friend. He already had come to the conclusion, that the god might have bitten of more than he could chew, though from what or whom was anybody's guess. It was no reason to let his guard down, however.

The shuttle shook heavily and for a moment the humming noise swelled to a mechanical rattling, then the motors wound down. A guard entered their room and unchained them, made them stand straight, facing the door. Tony risked a look sideways and saw Loki's pale profile. He almost bathed in sweat, normally fair skin dull and ashen. His eyes looked glassy and empty.

 

Before long they were led out of the room and into the airlock. Tony's heart sped up in anticipation. New environs, new faces, he was eager to make the best of the situation.

The outer door opened. On the other side was a ramp leading to a metallic platform. Wind toyed through Tony's hair immediately, other than that it was ghostly still and dark outside.

His gaze fell on two creatures waiting for them outside and his eyes went wide. Chitauri soldiers. Mentally cursing Loki again, he stepped down the ramp and obediently stood before one of the soldiers, who took his chain from the reptile. Other than that it made no attempt to hurt him or be nasty in any other way, it just... guarded him. Weird.

 

At the edge of his vision he saw one of the reptilian creatures conversing with another Chitauri, handling the transgression of money, or whatever it was they traded with. The reptilian seemed very professional about the whole affair, when it gestured towards them, there was no malice or sadism in his movement, no gloating whatsoever. He didn't know if it actually made the situation worse that those slavers were actually only doing their job, or if it was a kind of relief.

Tony watched the reptilian hand a small object over to the Chitauri, probably a key of some sort. Maybe he would be free of these bonds eventually. He felt cold, still being in the nude. Behind him he heard Loki walking down the ramp with his guard, face a blank mask, only his glassy eyes betrayed his fear. Fear? Yes, it definitely looked like fear. What was that supposed to mean?

As soon as they stood next to each other and the Chitauri soldiers held their chains, the ramp was pulled into the shuttle and the door closed. He heard one of the reptilians thank the third Chitauri for their transaction, before strutting back to the shuttle.

They watched the shuttle start the engines, before they were turned around and headed toward a tunnel. Tony felt overwhelmed by sensation. A glimpse of his surroundings showed Tony that they were on a planet. Right around him he saw barren land, strange spires of rock and a few paths alight with blue lights and on the horizon dark and gloomy mountains. Above the tunnel he saw a dark silhouette that could almost be called a skyline.

He felt but could not see atmosphere, above them rotated star systems and planets he had never before seen. Tony saw something moving at the edge of his perception and turned to take a better look. He saw one of the giant worms that had been part of the Chitauri invasion, gliding elegantly between rough mountain edges. The memory made him shudder.

_Fucking hell, I'm in wonderland. Just with giant scaly things that want to eat me instead of small fluffy things encouraging me to sip tea and sing songs. Just wondering where the queen calling for my head is._

 

 

Their little party reached the tunnel and entered. A short walk later they were led into a building and separated. He watched Loki being taken along a corridor to the right, while he was led left into another room. The guards opened the door for him and let him step inside on his own. The room was simple and small, though compared to the cell he had lived in for the past few months, it may be called luxury.

Before him stood a creature that seemed to be of the same race as the Chitauri, though it looked a bit different. Its eyes were veiled by a black hood, he wore a matching cloak and adornments that indicated a higher military rank than the soldiers around him. It held a staff in a six-fingered hand and bowed to him, when he entered. The creature inclined its head to the soldiers and they began taking off Tony's bonds, surprisingly gently.

When he was free of the gag he stretched and massaged his jaw, feeling how his beard had grown under it. It had grown in unpleasant directions and hurt if he stroked his hand over it. But the feeling of opening his mouth was glorious, he was breathing through it, grinding his teeth and letting his tongue wander over them. He also tasted atrocious.

 

“Welcome, Anthony Stark”, the hooded alien greeted him when he faced it again. “I apologize for your inconvenience, but we had to have you. Seeing as we do not have the people, nor the resources to travel as far away as Earth, we sent these trusting slavers to fetch you for us. I hope you were treated well?”

Silence ensued that made Tony feel uneasy. It waited for an answer. Tony kept staring at its hands, wondering if a second thumb was an advantage over just one. It creeped him out, even more than the suspiciously friendly behaviour the Chitauri were showing. He cleared his throat and gulped a few times before feeling ready to speak. His voice sounded rusty and unused, it broke like that of a teenager.

 

“Uh, you see... no, actually I'm not okay with the way I was brought here.”

The creature before him had the gall to look submissive and apologetic. What.

“I am sorry to hear that, but we did not have a choice. These slavers are the most reliable of their lot in these parts of the universe. Their slaves are free of injuries and epidemics. They deliver as fast as they can and generally do not hurt their cargo, though I see why you might have... another view on the subject. We will make sure to make it up to you. Would robes to clothe you make you feel more comfortable?”

_Yeah, that's a fucking nice way to put it. Goddamned alien slavers!_ If he weren't so damn confused by all this he thought he might be able to discern what was happening.

 

Tony furrowed his brow but nodded. Next to him a Chitauri guard opened a cabinet and pulled out a dark red tunic and handed it to him. He was also given wide trousers in matching colours and a pair of solid boots, that fit well enough for his taste.

It felt incredibly good to dress himself, of his own volition, in control. He veiled himself from their gaze, dressing carefully and relishing in the task. The cloth on his skin felt smooth and comfy. A thing he just now realized he had missed.

While he was dressing he cocked an eyebrow and warily watched the hooded Chitauri. “Care to tell me why I am here?” There was still the off-chance they were mistaking him. After all, he hadn't really helped their little invasion of his home. Quite the opposite actually.

 

“Ah, yes. You were the one human being who flew a magnificent weapon to space to wipe out three battalions and the warship of our formidable army.”

Uh-oh. They indeed knew exactly who he was. His throat constricted spontaneously at the thought of their revenge.

“No, no, do not be afraid, Human. I am here to offer you a deal. To kill you in petty revenge would not be beneficial to our cause, instead we want you to work for us. To build such a weapon. My master was highly curious when he heard of your deed. He will shortly converse with you about the details of our agreement.”

 

The situation just kept getting weirder and weirder.

Tony wasn't sure what to make of this. Oh, the so called “agreement” he new just too well. Again someone wanted him to make weapons for them. And again it seemed like his life was on the line. But these crude race of space-worms was impeccably polite in contrast to fellow humans who have once asked the same thing from him. At least he guessed they wanted the same thing. He probably should feel righteous anger, instead he was confused beyond reason.

“Do you require anything else to make yourself comfortable?”, inquired the hooded one carefully. They really wanted him to like them, didn't they.

“I could... yes, indeed, I could use something to rid myself of this”, Tony gestured towards his beard. It was itching and if they wanted to make him feel at home here he might aswell take advantage of that.

He read confusion on their faces, obviously no one had a clue what he was talking about.

“Uh, the beard? The hair here. I wish to cut it, it itches.”

 

He was handed a sharp knife and led to a mirror. He moved carefully and hushed, never totally suee of his surroundings. As far as he knew he could get a knife to the back any moment. The reflection he saw shocked him a little. Wow, he looked worse than he thought. His hair was long and stood from his head in crazy angles, but what was worse really was his beard. Carefully setting the knife to his throat he slowly cut it into a shape he liked, in the end, only his trademark goatee remained.

He also was handed a cup of water and used it to gargle until the bitter taste left his tongue.

He groomed his hair with his hands until he stopped looking like a crazy caveman, then turned to his new captors, who bowed to him. Again.

“Uhm, so, am I gonna live here now?”

“For your stay here we have prepared accommodations. The design is based on what our people reported from Earth, before we lost contact. If anything is amiss, please tell us, we will do our best to arrange something.”

Tony looked at the aliens around him, everybody was behaving, everybody seemed genuinely nice. He didn't buy it. Not one bit. But he would play along. All the stuff happening around him was already taking his mind from his miserable situation.

“Uh, okay, sounds good, can I see it?”

“An audience with my master is arranged. You will directly be brought to your chambers afterwards, we do not want to keep our Lord waiting. If you would please follow me.”

 

The hooded Chitauri turned around and opened a door, gesturing for Tony to walk through. Having no other option at the moment, Tony did as he was asked. He had to assess his situation as best as he could. At least he was free of any chains or bonds. He walked down a dark hallway with “the hood”, when he felt curiosity get the better of him. “Where is Loki?”

The creature sneered. It was a gesture so devoid of happiness that it made Tony shudder. “You will see. He attends the meeting, too. He has to fill in some blanks.”

Tony pondered what that could mean. In his mind he already saw Loki, dressed in his regalia, ridiculous helmet on head, standing amidst the creatures in the conference room, prancing around. The man who was rescued by slavers from “Asgardian justice” and brought here to his friends, to plot a new attack on Earth, this time with the support of Tony's super-weapons. Though the image had cracks to it. The look on Loki's face Tony had seen when they stepped on this strange planet would not leave his mind. It was always like this with the god, he never knew how to deal with him.

Rage boiled up in him again. He would never betray earth and its inhabitants, not even if these creatures and Loki threatened his life. Again. He had sworn to quit making weapons, and he would damn well honour his oath.

 

 

They turned around two corners, before treading into an official looking room. Chitauri were buzzing about like ants, showing not the slightest interested in him. Before them was another door, a tall one, leading to what his hooded guide called the throne room.

The large doors swung open before them, revealing a round room alight with blue glow. Walking towards that door, Tony gazed inside and made out dais that let up to an object that could really only be described as throne.

_Welcome to the teaparty,_ he thought amused and curious.

The room looked like it was taken right off of the page of a Giger painting. The cladding on the walls was dark grey and looked organic aswell as technical. It fit the designs of the Chitauri's armours somehow. Currents of light moved on the walls and lit the room, not too much but enough to see.

They entered the throne room and the doors fell shut behind them with a heavy clang. A few people, not unlike his hooded guide, were gathered around a large round symbol carved into the floor. They all faced the person majestically sitting atop his throne.

Tony had expected as much, it had a little “knights of the round table” vibe to it. What he had not expected was the still naked, still bound form of Loki, kneeling on the floor, facing the throne, shivering badly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To anyone not familiar with it, this would be a Giger painting:  
> http://www.hrgiger.com/images/spell1_40.jpg
> 
> Thanks for reading!  
> And thanks for 100 Kudos! You are amazing


	7. Repetition

The person on the throne nodded to its audience and turned to face Tony. His eyes glowed blue in a purple face with alien features. He radiated an air of might, against his will Tony felt a deep respect stemming from fear fill his being. The person on the throne inclined his head in his direction specifically, and before he could nod back, the hooded Chitauri gently nudged him to sink down on one knee, as the whole room did now.

It felt natural to kneel before the creature. The aura of complete authority it radiated was almost tangible in the air. Tony was glad when he felt its gaze shift away from him, like a burden was lifted off his shoulders.

From his kneeling position, Tony looked around into the faces of the others. They were all cloaked and looked up towards the throne with admiration and respect on their faces. All except for Loki, whose eyes were fixed on the floor before him. Even from his position a good ten feet away from him he could see Loki's chest fluttering, way too fast to be called normal breathing anymore.

“Welcome, welcome, my dear guests. We have assembled today to hear of the failed invasion of planet Earth and the consequences it brings us”, the alien on the throne droned gravely. His voice was deep and deceptively calm, but Tony felt his heart flutter at its tone. The voice was absolutely fitting for the creature it belonged to. He peeked at it from beneath his lashes and saw that it looked sternly to the middle of the room.

 

“Loki.”

The deity twitched badly when his name was spoken, he blinked once as if to steel himself, then raised his head to look at the speaker.

“We sent you out, to conquer a world, and, if I remember correctly, you assured me that the population of Earth would be no match for our forces. You promised a battle “glorious, not lengthy”. As it stands, the whole army we gave you, three battalions of Chitauri soldiers, now lie dead, our best battleship, demolished. The sceptre we needed to communicate with you, lost. _You,_ disappeared from the scene. It took us quite some time to find you, little god.

“Now, I am a curious person. I have not been able to fully reconstruct what had occurred. But you can, little liar. And I will have the truth only.”

 

He waved his hand and two Chitauri guards framed Loki, took him by the upper arms and pulled him backwards, until his whole torso was exposed to the people around. The deity struggled briefly, but ultimately just stared at a third guard approaching from the front, a sceptre in hand not unlike the one he wielded on earth.

The Chitauri set the sceptre's tip on Loki's chest and activated it. The blue glow spread from the sceptre's gem onto the pale chest, creeped through the veins a vibrant blue, reaching up its tendrils over his cheeks into his eyes. The frightened green eyes first turned pitch black, then the pupils took on the eerie blue of the gem.

They opened the gag Loki was still wearing and took it from him. Tony could see the deep marks it had etched into the skin, even the lips looked raw around the edges.

The guards left Loki's sides and bowed to their master. The captive looked up towards the throne, awaiting an order.

 

“Loki... please fill us in. What happened to the sceptre I lent you?”

“I lost it in the fight against the beast, my master”, came the meek answer, brutally honest because his master had commanded him so. Loki's voice was distant and detached, but trembled a little.

Said master continued his interrogation without showing any emotion Tony could make out. “Do you know where it is at this present moment?”

“Yes, my master, the humans took it and I believe they still have it.”

 

There was commotion in the room, a low murmuring between the people kneeling in the circle. Tony thought that the sceptre had to have been pretty valuable.

“Mh...” The creature on the throne looked displeased. “How were the, and I quote “puny humans” able to defeat our army?”

Loki still knelt on the floor, eyes forced to took to the throne, but now his unease became apparent.

“The one called Anthony Stark obtained a weapon he used to destroy the control ship. The one called Natasha Romanova found a way to close the portal. The one called Bruce Banner beat me in a fight, my master.”

Sweat was forming on Loki's forehead and his words sounded shaky. Tony thought he should be able to smell the angst radiating off of Loki. He felt his heart beating heavily in his chest, almost as if he knelt in front of this imperial creature, having to answer for... well for whatever this was.

“The sceptre gave you the ability to control minds. Why did you not stop these three people from defeating you?”

“I had lost the sceptre already when the beast beat me. I could not reach the woman when I met her. Anthony Stark was immune to its effects, my master.”

 

Commotion in the room again, this time louder. The assembled Chitauri looked at Tony, searching for something he didn't knew what. Maybe it was hard for them to understand how a puny human could achieve such a thing.

The alien on the throne huffed and cradled his wrinkly chin in one big hand. He let his gaze wander to Tony and winked at him. Then his attention was back on his victim. “How did the beast beat you? I want every detail.”

Loki took a moment before he began to retell his embarrassingly one sided fight with the Hulk in detail, completely humiliating himself in the process. The people around them chuckled at the tale of his failure. Even the one on the throne grinned, revelling in the story.

Tony remembered the footage of the fight. It was his go-to video for personal amusement; when he felt down he just had to play the video and he was laughing within minutes. It was a hilarious scene. He didn't laugh now, though. Hearing the experience from the actual victim sounded way more horrifying than it looked.

He hadn't known the Hulk actually had broken Loki's back. When they had incarcerated and examined him, he already had healed. He also hadn't known that Loki had not been able to breathe for almost a quarter-hour, because the attack had knocked the wind out of him. Even with super dense tissue and accelerated healing the Hulk sure was able to do a number on you. Tony began do feel bad. He also wasn't sure if he could ever watch that video again and feel delight.

 

Loki ended the tale while his audience roared in laughter. It was the first time they had broken composure, they were even swaying in delight. Tony felt sickened by them.

When the audience finished laughing, the master of ceremonies leant back, still grinning, and continued.

“What happened after that?”

“The group called The Avengers incarcerated me. After two days in the cell they had prepared, I was taken back to Asgard by my brother, my master.”

Huh. So Loki actually saw Thor as his brother, no matter how vehemently he denied it in front of him. The interrogation made Tony feel uncomfortable, though he couldn't put his finger on the reason. He would not pity Loki. That was ridiculous.

“And he did so using the Tesseract, I presume. Remind me, Loki, what were you supposed to do with the Tesseract?”

 

A pause again. Then, meekly: “I was to bring it to you, my master.”

“And now it is back in Asgard, in Odin's vault, guarded heavily amongst a roster of other relics. Tell me what that means.”

“It means I failed, my master.”

Tony gulped and stared at Loki, not wanting to look that demon on his throne in the face. “What did I tell you about the consequences of failure?”

 

“That no matter where I hid, you would find me and once you had me, I would long for something as sweet as pain, my master.”

“Correct. Tell me, Loki, what do you dream of?”

 

The figure kneeling on the floor had started shivering again. His voice had gotten progressively lower over the course of the past few questions and now it looked like he would not answer at all.

“Of you, my master.”

This seemed to please the creature on the throne greatly. He leant back and surveyed the naked man before him.

“Are those dreams pleasant, Loki?”

An even longer pause. Nervous kneading of fingers, a bite to the lower lip. In the end, he was forced to be honest.

“No, my master. From those dreams I wake screaming.”

 

The room fell into a prolonged silence. Tony felt more and more squeamish. He found himself pitying Loki against his will, a being who just seemed to have run out of luck. Even out of happiness. He hoped the interrogation was over, but the wish was left unfulfilled.

“When you were brought to Asgard, you faced the Allfather's trial, yes?”

“Yes, my master.”

“Has he taken your magic from you?”

“Yes, my master.”

“What was your sentence?”

 

Loki looked hollow, defeated even. “Imprisonment, my master. A thousand years in the dungeons of Asgard, in solitary confinement.”

“Mhmm... and now, that it seems like you have escaped, what will happen to you if you return?”

Loki gulped. Tony found himself dreading the answer.

“I am to be killed on sight, my master.”

“Ah, so I better _keep_ you in my tender care.” The smirk the alien showed made this seem more like a threat than a promise.

“Now, little Loki... do you have anything _left_ worth living for?”

 

The respondent froze on the spot. His eyes were sparkling with puzzlement.

“I- … I- I do not know, my master...”

“Enough. I will answer for you. The answer is “No”. You severed the ties to your family. You fell from grace. You failed as a king. You failed your conquest. You do not deserve respect in any form. You have no aims, you have no dreams, you have nobody who cares about you. You have forfeit your life, Loki. Tell me, what are you?”

“I am nothing, my master.” Tears fell from Loki's eyes and silently dropped down over his cheeks and from his chin to his chest. He was staring blankly ahead of him. A thousand yard stare if Tony had ever seen one.

An awkward pause ensued, not even the kneeling Chitauri commented. Though they also didn't look like they were sorry for the fallen god.

 

“Very well, little Loki. You are mine now. Just one last question... “, the purple alien even leant forward on his seat, as if shearing a secret with its victim. “People broke free from the sceptre's might. How?”

Loki looked up at his master in obvious fear. By all means he did not want to answer that much Tony could tell. “Cognitive recalibration. A concussion seems to free the victim's mind, my master.”

The alien on the throne nodded sincerely, then beckoned Loki to him. The naked man set his hands in front of him on the floor and began to crawl towards the throne, slowly up the dais, until he reached the creature's side.

A giant hand reached down to pat Loki's hair, even stroked a stray lock behind his ear. Then the hand cupped the back of his head gently.

“Thank you for your honesty, little Loki.”

With that the creature bashed Loki's face against the side of the throne using enough force to crack the god's nose. When he pulled the head back from the unforgiving surface of the throne, Loki's eyes were wide and terrified. His face was bloodied, the skin cracked in several places and he was bleeding profusely from the nose.

The whole room jerked in surprise of the quick movement and the slick sound. Loki had also been pulled out of the mind control and was struggling now, it looked more like the act of a frightened animal than a serious fight.

The alien grabbed the chain attached to the back of the slave collar and lifted Loki up by it. He stood up to an impressive height, movements still calm. Just like he didn't hold a tall person only by his neck.

The god hung limply from the chain, choking on his weight and twitching slightly from the lack of blood circulation through his neck. He was hurled back to the middle of the room again. Loki broke down in the center of the circle that was painted on the floor. Tears and blood streaked his face.

 

Sitting back down on the throne, the creature lifted his hand and made a gesture. Dark blue light enveloped Loki and lifted him from the floor. It looked like he was held by invisible hands that contorted his body. Groans of pain echoed through the chamber as his back was arched painfully.

The deity's body was twisted, joints creaked and bones snapped, until eventually a loud crack was heard, and suddenly Loki's limbs hung slackly from his body.

The circle on the floor faded and in the end disappeared whole. It revealed a deep hole, perfectly round and from its depths Tony heard commotion. A cacophony of hissing and scratching metal.

“Down there are Chitauri who lost a partner dear to them in your mockery of an invasion. I think it would make them feel better, if they had the revenge they are calling for”, the tall alien explained in a bored tone. He let his hand fall, and so did Loki. As if an invisible bond was broken, he fell down into the darkness of the hole.

When the floor began to reappear again, it gradually cut of Loki's increasingly loud shrieks. Then there was silence.

 

The vast majority of the audience left the room then. The show is over, everyone leave. The curtain falls.

The hooded alien next to Tony stood up and nudged Tony to do the same. He felt numb and a little shocked, so he moved without protest. They now stood directly in front of the throne. Tony looked blankly at the drops of blood between his feet. Moments ago Loki had been lying here. Tony felt as if he was far away, veiled by fog, it felt like he wasn't really there. His stomach also felt like it weighted much more than it should.

“Do not worry, human, the floor is perfectly save. It only disappears on my command.” The alien on the throne repositioned himself and looked down at Tony with interest.

“My name is Thanos of Titan. The mad Titan. Avatar of death. You may call me Lord, Anthony Stark.”

Tony didn't dare move, he just nodded quickly. The little display of violence before was surely also meant for him. He was supposed to fear this person. It worked.

 

“I am sorry to let you wait, Loki and I had... unfinished business, you see. But now to you. The news of your brave deeds have reached my ear. You are a curious creature, if I might say so. I would like to recruit you, Anthony. I will provide you with everything you need, everything you can wish for. In return I want you to build weapons for me. Like the one you used to destroy my army.”

He looked at the Titan for a while before he was able to open his mouth and speak. He didn't know what to do. The cries of the once proud god rang in his ears and prevented him from thinking clearly. “What makes you sure I can do what you require of me?”

He got a lopsided smile in return for that. The Titan gestured towards his chest, where his reactor was faintly shining through his tunic.

“I have confidence that someone who has harnessed the power of the Tesseract to protect himself from its very own might, can do such a deed. I will provide you with every material you need to build those weapons. You have time to figure out how to build them. No pressure, all aid. Yes?”

 

He did his best to push the sickening thoughts of what happened to Loki to the back of his mind. It already seemed surreal to him, the alien architecture, the eerie lights, the new faces...

“Y- no, no, one moment please... what did you say I get in return?” Tony felt bold now. His anger was returning, because he knew this situation, he _knew_ it. Why did it always have to be him? Why would his past just keep following him?

The questions regarding his reactor would come, it seemed Thanos thought he had explicitly built it to counteract the Tesseract's power. Well should he continue believing that. It meant Tony was save from their mind control. Hopefully.

 

“Tell me what you want. Do you want to rule Earth? Asgard? Do you want your own army, a harem of various races from all around the galaxy, exotic treasures, magic... you name your price, Anthony. Fulfil my request and you will be a happy man.”

He was sincere, Tony could tell. He also had no doubt this creature was able to do all that he just promised him. But for what price? If he built the weapon it would surely be used. Used against Earth probably, to teach humanity a lesson.

“So, you mean I shall betray Earth, my home, everything and everyone I know in exchange for happiness?”

“Exactly.”

 

Total acceptance, no scruples. It was clear to Tony that this creature was used to get what it wanted. And it got it by all means necessary.

He thought of Loki, and how the god had shivered before the Titan. Had he stood here in Tony's place, a long time ago, receiving an offer he couldn't refuse?

He disliked the crazy god, but now that he stood before the presence of this mighty being, he felt a pang of sympathy for him.

 

“What happens to me, if I should fail?”

Thanos sighed and smiled at him, looking by all means as if he was talking to a petulant child. “Why should you fail? If you need aid, you will get it. Our weapon constructors count among the best in the galaxy, I am sure they will be able to help you overcome any problem you encounter. If it would make you feel safe, you could only give them your notes, they would surely be able to construct weapons from it.”

_Yeah, sure. You believe that yourself?_

“But we are talking about Earth technology, surely they have not encountered it before?”, Tony had to know. As long as his host was friendly towards him, he needed to gather information.

“All our technology is accumulated from those of various races of the galaxy. Believe me, they are used to this, Anthony. But I would prefer if you yourself worked for me. You are a capable engineer, I presume.”

Great, he had encountered the Borg – real life edition. _You will be assimilated, resistance is futile._

Tony gulped.

 

“And if I refuse?”

 

“You cannot.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next update might take a while, weekend is busy again. But I now have a complete outline for the whole fic... this is going to be longer than I originally thought.. oh well XD


	8. Brave New World

The Titan had not lied.

Tony was provided with a large room containing all kinds of technology. It had no windows, but giant screens, half transparent floating around like boards on the long wall. A king sized bed throned on a pedestal in the back of the room, a door separated it from a private bath. Several Chitauri assured him that if he missed something, they would provide it as soon as possible.

The room held a remarkable collection of machines, computers and things he didn't even have a name for. A scientist's paradise. He was told that, should he need assistance, he would get it. At first he thought he would do well without, but in the end he needed a Chitauri to explain their tech to him. There was a digital manual, a kind of lexicon he could only read with its aid. The notes he took he wrote in English though into another database.

A pretty vast and detailed lexicon, its wordcount exceeding even War and Peace, in addition to ten thousands of blueprints. Their technology was remarkable, albeit assembled crudely, but they made it work to devastating effect. He got a good idea of their concept of assimilating as many different technologies as possible. It lacked finesse, but more than made up for it in sheer power. They had been very lucky to have closed that portal as quickly as they did. Their sheer numbers would have overpowered them eventually.

For lack of a better thing to do, he drowned himself in the learning process.

It kept his thoughts busy and distracted him from certain things that threatened to make him break down and cry.

 

They fed him well. Another thing he never thought he would miss: physical food. The nurture he had gotten on the slaveship was enough to keep him alive, but the actual joy of eating could only be achieved by chewing and swallowing, tasting the food bit by bit, feeling its texture and consistency, letting succulent juices run down his throat. He ate three times a day and enjoyed every meal to the fullest. Tony had never been a big eater, even neglected it during his more outrageous working fits. But never again, he had the feeling that food would become one of his prior things to do in every situation. Not only because of the potential threat of starvation, but for the sheer sensation and remembrance of the feeling.

He did not care where the food came from. He got everything he wanted, tasted a variety of exotic fruits, some bitter, some sweet, all alien to him. The Chitauri seemed to have a good idea of what his body could digest and what not.

 

Measurement of time was another newfound joy. They presented to him a variety of clock systems until he found something he liked. He strolled about in his new workshop, decorating walls with different clocks. Sometimes he just sat there and stared at them, as if he could make the passage of time a tangible thing. He would watch and watch, for hours and only follow the digital numbers or clock-hands move over their surfaces in precise rhythms.

He developed a fascination with clockworks, often taking one of his clocks from the wall and opening it just to see every tiny bit work together with its peers, a perfect union, ticking away with purpose and control.

It was at this times he felt alone, on a planet full of aliens who were deceptively friendly towards him; he felt _utterly_ alone. Of course he had his Chitauri assistant and plenty of the higher ranking aliens spoke his language (no, not his language, a thing called “Alltongue” as one of them had explained to him), but there was always a sense of dread to their presence. He felt their curious and vigilant eyes on him when he turned his back, when he wrote notes, when he ordered his food. They were studying him, here in his room that had become his cage, though nobody called it that.

 

Tony did not sleep. He didn't need to, because there were substances they brought him not unlike caffeine, but way stronger. He would have to sleep eventually, he felt squeamish and oversensitive, but for eight days he just learned and ate and learned and watched. His mind made up for the long time of sensory deprivation by working in overdrive. Should he return to Earth he would revolutionize technology.

Earth. If he fulfilled Thanos' request he would be able to return to his home. He would betray every living being on the planet, but he would be home. His friends would be there, his old life (he entertained the idea of being able to return to a normal life even after what he had endured, though deep down he knew that it would never be the same anymore). Home, not alone anymore.

He would only have to betray the rest of the universe for it. Yeah, no big deal. Everything for his own good, right?

No, building weapons for Thanos was not an option. Just like in the cave with Yinsen he would find a way to overcome the odds and do the right thing, not the selfish. Just this time he needed way bigger guns.

He had no illusions that they would keep their promise once they had what they wanted from him. He built one nuke, their scientists would take over and he would be disposed of. Tony was sure, that his days were numbered.

 

There was no pressure at all, they assured him he had time, he could ask for resources, for their active help even... and it made the situation much worse. His newly squeamish nature did not stem from the drug that kept him awake at all, it just heightened his senses and strained his psyche. No, it was the constant fear that one day his door would open and they dropped their impeccably friendly mask and just took what they wanted. The dreaded door where they would knock politely, wait for him to invite them in so they could deliver his food with a fake smile on the face.

And there was the ever looming threat of the Titan, who seemed to have taken residence in the back of Tony's mind (of course, there was no mind control involved, they had a deep respect for his arc reactor, mainly because it repelled their control and they didn't understand it). The Titan's presence in his head was his very own hallucination, a primal fear imprinted in him by his sheer presence. His gut clenched every time he thought about the creature, the ruler of this strange alien planet.

When he was not learning with his assistant, he thought of ways to escape and came up with nothing every. Damn. Time. He had no idea where he was exactly, let alone was he prepared to travel in space. Hell, the Chitauri themselves were not prepared to travel in space! He had seen the plans of their warship he had destroyed, they would have eventually been able to travel to Earth on their own, but it would have taken them way longer than using a portal. He was far, he was _very_ far away from home.

But he also had seen blueprints in their database that his assistant explained were plans for better propulsion. They had had plans for using the Tesseract as a power source, luckily on ice for now, but their backup designs weren't too bad either. Tony was sure they were building a newer, faster warship at the present moment. And they planned to use nuclear weaponry from the looks of it, that was where Tony entered the equation.

 

He could not do this. He, simply couldn't! Yeah, he could ask Thanos for Earth, hell, the Titan had promised him the rule of Earth. But that rang familiar, didn't it? There was some special someone that had once had the same deal with the Titan, had he not? A man that was way older and way hardier than Tony himself. And what had he been reduced to?

Tony tried to avoid thinking about Loki as hard as he could, but sometimes the god just crept into his thoughts without his consent. In his mind's eye he saw the blue light rippling over the muscles of Loki's back while he crawled on hands and knees towards the throne, unable to stop himself, because he was being controlled.

He saw the empty look in his eyes at his own admission, that he had nothing to live for any longer. He wondered if Loki had lost his will to live completely. It sure had looked that way. And now where was he? Still in that pit, being torn apart by angry Chitauri who craved revenge?

 

No, Tony didn't want to end that way. He liked living. A lot. And he still had someone to return to. He had Rhodey, Pepper, Bruce... hell, all of the Avengers, his friends, all the people of Earth he would save! He had stuff to do, science to revolutionize and heroics to commit. Killing himself would be the surest and easiest option to end this predicament, but it would be and always should remain the last resort. And if it was to happen, it would be with a bang. With a nuclear bang on this very planet, preferably in the face of a certain mad Titan.

But really, it was the last option of all. Before that he would try everything in his might to stop them. It seemed strange to him, thinking about several occasions where he had been near death already, but he still feared it. He was no Steve, he wouldn't just idly sit here and plan his own demise for the greater good. He was the kind of guy who always found another option, a way around the rules, and he had every intention in finding the loophole this time around.

 

 

On the ninth day, his head just felt _full._ Full to the brim. He sent away his assistants and sat down on the bed he had been given. A comfy piece of furniture. Big, soft, full of pillows and sheets. Tony decided it was time for a nap. Kicking off his boots he swung his legs onto the mattress and burrowed himself under the sheets. He felt tired enough. He had worked for nine days, now it was time to sleep, to refresh his spirits. Yep, sleep was great.

It wouldn't come to him, of course. He was as cosy as humanly possible in his bed. The room was dark, but not pitch black, it was silent, but not deadly so. He was warm, he felt good. He felt tired. Sleep would just not come to him.

He closed his eyes and began to count sheep. A classic, yes, but maybe a good one.

 

It didn't help. At all.

He thrashed around in the sheets, changing positions every few minutes, growing more frustrated by the minute. Maybe he had overexerted his body and now was beyond the point he could fall asleep.

Eventually he got up again and rummaged through the things they had given him until he found some pill that would make him sleep. Pathetic, yes, but if his body refused to cooperate he wasn't above using assistive equipment.

When he settled in the sheets again, he awaited sleep patiently. Just after a short while he managed to get into a dazed state, dozing happily and eventually falling asleep.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Tony awoke ten hours later bathed in sweat, feeling worse for the wear. The substance that gifted him with sleep also had hindered waking periods and cut off every way to escape his nightmares. He had expected flashbacks and trauma. Instead he was tortured with the image of Loki's body. A body he had come to know so well it bordered on blurring the lines between self and stranger.

Now he saw the beautiful body of a stranger - who had become a friend, for a time – contorted in pain, cramping, being broken. And the shrieks. Dear god, the shrieks that sounded from that deep pit would haunt him forever.

He sat up and stroked a hand down his face, staring into the distance. He got up feeling like a zombie, his movements were mechanical and born of routine. Tony shuffled to his bathroom and took a shower that was unnecessary hot even for his standards. He stood under it until he saw stars, then turned it cold to wake his body again.

Throughout all of his morning toilet he wasn't able to shake Loki from his mind. Running around his new workshop he searched for something to do. He did not want to see his assistant Chitauri today, he also shied away from starting to build a weapon.

 

So he watched his clocks. He sat in his lounge chair before his wall of clocks and chewed his fingernails while the time seeped through his fingers. He managed to kill two hours with this activity, then got up again.

Pacing in his room like a caged tiger, Tony decided it was no use. All procrastinating did not help his matters. He had to clear his thoughts and that meant dealing with Loki.

“Come on Tony, you'll do this...”

 

It already was around midday when he left his room to search for an officer. He had learned of the Chitauri's military ranks and knew for what to look. It had seemed strange to him at first, that he was allowed to move freely in the base, but since he most definitely was not a prisoner, like, at all, nobody stopped him. He hadn't looked around too much though, he felt saver in his room with his machines than out in the open where Chitauri were roaming and asking him questions. It took a while, but he found one and waited until the alien had time for him.

“Anything amiss, Mr. Stark?” They even obediently learned how to address him. It was a thing that never failed to surprise him. These alien savages were actually a civilized people, capable of social skills. It made the anxiety worse, somewhere along the line the bombshell would drop, and he had the apprehension it would be with a bang.

 

“Yah, no... I just... uhm... I... require information”, he stammered shyly before laughing and shaking his head. “I'm sorry. What can you tell me of Loki's current situation?” If he had the balls to ask, he might aswell do so eloquently.

The officer nodded to show his understanding. “I do not know his whereabouts, but I can find out for you. I will deliver the information personally to your room. Would that be all right?”

“Yes, very all right, thank you.” He bowed a little and returned to his rooms, rubbing his wet hands over the legs of his trousers to dry them. Nervous again. Because of Loki. Pah.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

During his absence his lunch had arrived and waited for him in his room. The meal lightened his mood greatly, he almost felt good again. While he ate, he looked at his clocks and watched the time pass. Nobody bothered him about time. It made him wonder how long he could pretend to learn and prepare before they wanted results. At least a little more, still.

Tony was busy devouring his dessert when there was a knock at the door. He opened it to reveal the officer he had asked about Loki. Inviting him in he settled again at his table. “Thank you for coming here.” He politely inclined his head to the officer and waited.

“My inquiries were most successful, Mr Stark. Loki appears to be alive.”

Tony choked on his pudding. He hit his chest several times and suffered a brief but heavy coughing fit. There... had been the actual possibility of Loki already being dead? What the hell were they doing to him? Then he remembered the shrieks again and felt goosebumps creeping over his skin.

 

“Uh, yeah, that's uh... great! Eh...”

“Do you wish to have him?”

Tony blanked out and gaped at the officer. “Come again?”

“Shall I bring him here, for your entertainment? Lord Thanos has given express order to provide you with everything you wish for.”

 

Well that was... interesting? But why not? Before he could think this through, he already answered.

“Yes... yes, I would like that very much. Thank you.”

The creature bowed and left the room quietly. Now Tony had no idea what to do with Loki once he was here. Doubts came to him willingly. What would he say to Loki?

Tony didn't like to admit it, but the interrogation he had witnessed had left an impact. The war criminal who had tried to subjugate earth as a recompense for his daddy issues had managed to piss off someone way out of his league...

He was no stranger to family problems, but seriously, he had not strived for world domination. There is so much as overcompensating. Greatly.

 

Then again, he thought about “Asgardian Justice”. The big guy on the throne of Asaland was Loki's father. And that guy had basically outlawed his son, adopted or no. _Must be a painful revelation._

Again he felt himself dealing with stuff that should not concern him. Maybe Cap's compassion was infectious, what with all his caring about a man he hated. But that was the point, was it not? He did not know if he hated the guy anymore... Maybe he should give Loki the chance to explain himself. 't was a great opener also: “Hey Loki, care to tell my why you associated with this strange alien race to conquer Earth?” Yeah, that sounded just peachy.

 

Tony finished his meal, not really tasting the food, he was lost in thoughts. Some time passed where he did absolutely nothing, he could not find the motivation to do anything. He waited for something, but for what he didn't know yet.

He heard a knock from the door, then it was shoved open unceremoniously. A handful of Chitauri stepped in, accompanied by a hooded officer. They carried something between them that left a trail of red drops on his floor.

“Have fun, Mr. Stark”, mocked the hooded alien, showing his dirty teeth in a gruesome smile, then turned around and gestured for its peers to put down their cargo. Tony watched the little procession baffled.

Nothing could have prepared him for the view that was presented to him.

 

The soldiers dumped a bloody and beaten mass of flesh and limbs on his floor, then left with a quick bow. For a minute Tony just stared at the package that had just arrived, unable to move or do something. He could hear strangled and weak gasps coming from the other. Aside from breathing, he did not move.

Tony's brain did not process the picture.

When the first shock had worn out, he was able to take slow steps towards the man. He looked at the strange creature weakly writhing on his floor, too weak to do anything but lie there and breathe.

_This is... is this really..._

“ _Fuck_... I mean, fuck... fuck, fuck fuck, _fuck_ , what the fucking fuck did they do... what did they.... fucking hell....” Tony sank to his knees besides the battered body and shivered. He just shivered, he didn't dare touch Loki.

“Whatshallido, my gosh, dear _lord_ , what shall I do....” Tony's hands hovered inches above the body, roaming without aim and touch. He pulled them back quickly, hugging them to his chest, while he let his eyes wander over the god before him.

Then he shot up and ran to the bathroom, close to throwing up. He threw the door shut behind him and sank down its surface, one hand firmly pressed to his mouth. He breathed heavily while he hid from the man in the other room.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be careful what you wish for, Tony :D
> 
> Edit: I overhauled the paragraph pacing of the whole story. Hopefully it will be a little better to read now. (Finally figured out how to properly convert from Open Office to the Archive...took long enough XD)


	9. Second Impact

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear reader!  
> You know how it says "Graphic Depictions of Violence" up there in the tags? Yeah, here we see the aftermath of that, so if you don't like that you should probably squint a lot or skip reading about the first third or so of this chapter.  
> It's nothing too nauseating (at least from my point of view, but hey, I study art, I'm kind of a hardass in that direction...), just thought I might warn!  
> Thank you for reading!

Tony sat in his bathroom trying to wake up from this nightmare he had just witnessed. He knew he was awake, though.

What was he thinking? That Loki would get a slap on the hand and then let go? No, he might not speak the Chitauri's language, but the hissing sounds and Loki's screams should have been an indicator by all means.

Had he ever thought of the Chitauri as civilized? Now he saw their rotten core, they merely played civilized, but under the surface their real face was much worse than one would think. And he hadn't been any better. He had left Loki to his own devices, without thinking about it, without protest. All he had needed to to was ask. They had brought Loki to him directly after he had asked, he could have wished to see him earlier.

_Holy crap, I could have prevented this.. or maybe the worst of it... I could have asked for him earlier and... spare the torture..._

He was close to tears as he thought about it. There was a basically immortal being who healed well and fast and he let them have their way with him for _nine days._ Why hadn't he thought about this earlier? Was he that self absorbed?

No, it wasn't his fault. He couldn't have known they'd be _that_ nasty to Loki while they had been so nice to him. Or maybe he had just ignored the signs of their deeds.

 

Tony remembered the day the slavers took the blindfolds off. He remembered Loki's face when it fell because of the way Tony had been looking at him. They had been so incredibly close, found solace in one another's bodies. Could he really blame Loki for hoping it would stay that way? The god had been aware where they were brought, he had known what awaited him. And he had counted on Tony to be by his side, to ease his pain. And Tony had abandoned him, shattered all his hopes with his gaze of disgust and regret.

Oh, now he regretted. He should have seen the signs and not simply assume Loki to be the ice cold villain he knew. He had seen the fear in his eyes, the hurt, the knowledge and still did not react to it. He felt like an asshole.

It was no use, he could not turn back time. All he could do was try and somehow make it better. The other laid helpless in the main room while Tony was hiding like a child from the responsibility. He had sworn himself he would not do that again, but here he was, frightened, alone, consumed by guilt that may or may not be rightful.

He had to calm down, his idleness was helping nobody.

 

A good ten minutes later he exited the bathroom, this time steeled against the image awaiting him. He carefully stepped towards Loki's side and got down on his knees again. It was ridiculous to even think that he could help.

He saw bones jutting out from broken skin on the arms, twisted and infected skin around dirty manacles. Around the joints it looked like it had been melted off the bone, though he didn't see any burns. _Acid?_

The legs were bent at strange angles, the bonds on his thighs broken, the ones on his ankles missing. They had lost their shape when the bone had been broken violently. Tony could see the splintered pieces pressing against the darkening skin from the inside.

Blood pooled between his thighs and ran down the legs to the floor, something Tony really did not want to think about too much. He was half kneeling in the dark red puddle, because it spread rapidly. The injuries seemed to be very fresh.

Loki's torso was littered with dark purple bruises, several ribs looked bent out of shape. He was lying on his side, so when he got up and stepped around him to survey the whole damage, Tony was able to see the ruin that was his spine, splintered bone and nerves that he could see because the back seemed to lack a generous amount of skin. It all stretched and moved slightly with each painful breath.

One of the man's hands was shattered completely, a gruesome mess of blood and pieces of bone; the other swollen, three of five fingers badly broken. The body still wore the dark steel collar that Tony had once worn the likes of himself (it felt like really long ago).

If he was asked what was the worst about the image before him, he'd say the eyes. Or, eye, as it was, since the left one was a pool of red and black mass, cut in half by a wound that stretched from the pale forehead down to the chin. The other eye looked empty and dead. Even the bright red fluid running out of its corner did not make it livelier. The face was utterly still and devoid of emotion.

Tony barely fought down a new wave of nausea.

 

“Hey... hey, Loki... do you hear me?”, he asked carefully, not even sure if the other was aware of his presence. He stroked some slick strands of hair out of the god's face, still sporting the empty look. No reaction.

“Loki.... come on, reindeer games, show me you hear me.”

He moved his hand to the man's shoulder to pat it carefully, which only made the body beneath him twitch violently while a low keen was ripped from its throat.

Tony sharply drew in air and pulled his hand back. Of course touching was not really a good idea now. He somehow had to make contact though, that look had to be erased from Loki's face. He bit his lower lip and pondered how to communicate with the other.

 

Then it hit him. They already had had such problems, did they not? Tony gently took Loki's face in his hands, ignored the twitching the touch evoked and brought his face near Loki's until he could nudge his nose to the other's. His thumbs were carefully stroking the cheekbones. The gesture felt natural to him, he had caressed his partner this way so many times he lost count. He didn't dare stroke the sides of his torso because of the broken bones, so this had to do.

Loki's skin was as smooth and creamy as ever, only the grime stained its surface.

“Come on, Loki, you know me... I won't hurt you, I promise.”

Tony let his face stay close to Loki's he breathed in the metallic tang of blood, but hoped the other would be able to smell and recognize him.

 

It took a while but in the end, he saw how the unseeing eye slowly gained focus and looked at him. The memories of the familiar touch seemed to register in his mind, just as Tony had hoped they would. Loki's forehead wrinkled up in a frown, all the while looking up to him with an unreadable expression. Tony pulled back his head, but let his hands stay on the sides of the man's face, stroking the cheekbones with his thumbs. He managed a small smile while looking down.

“Hey you. Welcome back.”

Now that he had the other's attention, he felt unsure again. He wasn't versed in medicine, though he probably could manage to clean Loki up a bit.

“Uh, I'm going to get a cloth, Lolo, don't... yeah, stay where you are, don't run away...” Tony rambled while running to his bathroom again, where he found a bucket and filled it with water. Also grabbing a few towels and soap he returned to the main room, where, unsurprisingly, Loki hadn't moved an inch. Setting down his tools on the floor, he knelt again.

The other was following his movements, the frown still deeply chiselled into his features. When Tony made a move to reach for him with the cloth, he twitched away from it, closing his eyes tightly, awaiting pain. Ah yeah, for all the god knew Tony was still mad at him.

He smiled at him again and stroked a hand through his hair, showing him that he didn't intend to hurt him further. Tony waited patiently until Loki opened his eye again, the unmasked look of fear on his features a thing he tried to ignore. That the proud god didn't even try to hide his emotions any more was alarming. He grabbed the cloth harder and firmly set it on an uninjured part of the other's shoulder.

“Just going to clean you up a little, ok? Don't want those little cute infections to spread any further, do we”, Tony talked throughout the procedure, mainly to calm himself down. “Heh, see... I'm kneeling for you now, look at that. Though I suppose your imagination of this was a little different.. probably also less painful...”

Tony dabbed a part of the towel into the water and used it to carefully clean nine days worth of bloody grime from Loki's face. He was careful to avoid the wounded areas, he would have to deal with them separately and with cleaner water.

With every little movement, Loki twitched again, eyes trained to Tony's face, still unsure, still hurt. It made him gulp uncomfortably, his chest even tightened a little.

“I uh... I should probably apologize, you know... I was kinda mean to you, though I had every reason to be, seeing as you threw me out of my window, let alone you trying to enslave my planet... uh.”

 

He continued cleaning the neck around the collar, again noting that the skin under it had infected because the metal carved into the neck with every movement. Maybe he would find something in his workshop to open it with later.

“What I mean to say- uh, well I think... so... uh, I'm sorry, okay? For my reaction upon seeing you. Just, really sorry, you don't need to be afraid of me. Well maybe you should be, but just because I'll try to patch you up and I have no idea what I'm doing, but I don't think I'll make it worse, so... yeah, there's that. Oh, please don't twitch, I don't wanna hit something that hurts...”

Well finally the god was listening to him, or at least it looked like it. The twitching didn't stop completely but it seemed like Loki was at any rate trying to let him work.

As he ran his hands over the body he had come to be familiar with, he noted all the dips of bones and swells of injury that were wrong with it. It made him furious, god knew why. It felt plain _wrong_. He wanted it to be as he came to know it, the strange feeling under his hands was making him uneasy.

 

He lingered for a while, absent mindedly stroking over non-injured parts of the other's body. That didn't go unnoticed.

“You can't move, huh? I see it in your eye, you want to get away from me. Well, not going to happen now, maybe in the end you can see that I mean it when I say I want to help you. Shit, what have they done to you... Don't answer, I think the imagery right before me is enough...”

The ribcage was deformed, hips broken, not to mention the bruises everywhere. What was especially bad was that the tissue beneath the bruises felt _soft_. It was like he was touching his thumb over a fruit that had fallen to the floor one too many times. Not a good sign.

“Can you talk? Your mouth doesn't seem to be hurt, that's why I'm asking. You should try talking, it's going to help you think about something other than the pain. Uhm... I know there are questions doctors ask their patients to see how clear they are but they kind of evade my mind at the moment. Can you tell me something that would help me?”

A startlingly green eye watched him, though it sometimes narrowed in pain, but it was now clear the deity was trying to mask his discomfort. Well, at least his spirit was returning.

“Okay, so I get the silent treatment. Guess I deserve that, yeah, but really, I'm only trying to help. See, if they tortured you out of your mind and there's only something akin to a vegetable up there I kinda can spare me the trouble here. Uh-oh, sorry, that was harsh, really, don't listen to me, I'm an asshole.

“Won't even insult me back? Okay, then not, but... come on, please talk. How... how long do you think you... I mean, how much time has passed? Do you know that?”

At first he thought he wouldn't get an answer, but when his hand brushed over an injured rib, he fist got a hiss of pain, then a slight cough.

“... two...”

Wow, his voice sounded bad. All hoarse and scratchy, nothing of the usual cold demeanour left. At least he'd come to the decision to talk to Tony, it was a beginning.

“Two what? Can you tell me?”

“Mm... mm-months... two months... years... aeons...”

Well if that didn't sound delirious. Maybe speaking wasn't such a good idea after all. But he wouldn't give up now.

 

“Well... no, not really. It has been nine days – at least on my side of the pond. But I guess that's not important, you're here now, nice and cosy- Okay, maybe not so cosy right now, but I think you will be fine.”

Yah, what a nice thing to say of him! Tony winced at his words and used the hand that was not cleaning away blood to caress Loki's cheek. The other tensed at first and looked like he wanted to pull away, but eventually relaxed into the touch, even leaning a little into it. Tony smiled encouragingly at him.

Then he drew the cloth over the bruised stomach and the body before him cramped in pain, Loki's face contorted painfully and he couldn't hold back a groan. Tony immediately pulled his hand back and laid it gently on the other's face.

“Okay, breathe, breathe calmly. Sorry, I won't touch there again, breathe please.” He watched Loki fight the pain bit by agonizing bit, while wondering what strange injuries caused the pain.

“Do you... ever... shut up?”, came the meek but none the less cheeky reply from below him, when the worst had passed. He breathed deeply now, unconsciously leaning into Tony's touch.

The engineer just smiled, happy that his patient became more lucid.

“Well no, I'm a talker. Guess you were lucky that I was gagged on the slaveship, I would've chewed your ear off.” Hey, he could already talk about it without feeling caged again. That had to be good, right? Loki had closed his eye again, a little colour drained out of his face. He apparently didn't find the memory very funny. Tony decided to change the subject.

“Say, do you need medical attention? Not gonna lie, I'm not able to treat you...”

“...I'll heal... in time.”

Tony looked down for a moment, surveying the damage.

“Uh-hu, I see... so... super healing powers, yeah, but... shouldn't you be healed or something then? I mean, hey, the Hulk kinda broke your back, but you were fine after a short while?”

Loki gulped noisily and blinked a few times. He stared at Tony now while he was working, quite an unsettling thing to do. Though Tony was as careful as humanly possible he could see the god fighting back tears of pain

“Too much... “

“Too much what? Loki? _Loki_?” Tony stopped cleaning his torso for a bit to notice that the god had become pale. Well, paler. Sweat pearled from his forehead and all blood seemed to drain from his lips.

“Too much... hurt.... too... little time.” With that Tony watched Loki's one good eye roll up and revealing white, his body giving a small tremor, then went still.

 

“No no no, Loki, stay with me here... hey... hey!”

He threw his towel into the bucket of water, noting that the once clear fluid was already muddy and reddish. Tony reached for Loki's face again, relieved when he felt a pulse below the man's jaw. Maybe it was better this way, he could use the unconsciousness to clean the badly wounded parts of Loki's body. Perhaps he also would be able to gather some gauze or cloth to wrap the still naked man in.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Tony had rummaged through his workshop and found some implements that he used to free Loki of collar and manacles. The skin under them was infected badly, red hot and raw. But he also found gauze and after asking a few Chitauri he also got some disinfectant. The aliens already wondered what he did to Loki, but he didn't feel like informing them. After all it has been his wish to see the god, they obliged without protest, so what.

Said god was still passed out cold on his floor. Tony had soaked a cloth in disinfectant and rolled Loki onto it, raw back covered by the cloth. He had managed to clean Loki's upper half, wrapped the infected areas in gauze and massaged areas of skin around the bruises which felt lumpy. He had also wrapped Loki's head in gauze, since he had found several cuts hidden by hair and it was the only way to cover the injured eye. His hands trembled during the procedure and the cloth just refused to stay where he wanted it, so in the end he made sure Loki could breathe and speak and just covered the rest of the head. He looked pretty much like a mummy now.

What he had ignored until now were the legs. He couldn't any longer. Albeit being afraid of what he would find, he took the legs by their calves and spread them before him, then knelt between them. Tony had brought fresh water with him, by the looks of it, he would need it. He nervously bit his lip before looking right at Loki's crotch.

It looked as if the god had been ripped open. Dried streams of blood ran down the long legs, his crotch was positively painted crimson.

Gulping, Tony wetted the towel and put it to use. He wiped the towel carefully, happy that he did not find too many deep cuts, although there were plenty bruises. The bloodstreams running down the god's legs were drying at last. If there were any internal injuries he hoped the god would be able to deal with them on his own, there was only so much Tony could do.

 

He finished cleaning the legs quickly not wanting Loki to wake up and be in more pain than necessary. It was hard for him to feel the broken bones beneath the skin, he didn't dare to push them back into form from fear he would do more damage.

Tony already wondered how to transport the injured man over to the bed, when he heard a knock and the opening of his door. The hooded Chitauri he had met when he first arrived here stalked into the room, looking at Tony and his new guest with interest.

 

 


	10. Under your Skin

The hooded guest tentatively closed the door behind it and folded its hands, looking at Tony. The engineer was frozen on the spot, he still held the bloody cloth in his hand, Loki laid splayed out before him. He looked up to his guest, not sure of what to say, and even less sure what the creature wanted here.

“It has come to my ears that you requested Loki to be brought to you. I see, it is so. I would like to inquire the reason.”

Tony wasn't sure how the creature could see through its hood, but it apparently worked well enough as it was gesturing towards the unconscious god on the floor. It did sound incredulous though, but also pleased, as if it drew... a sick kind of pleasure from the display?

“Yes - yes, I did. I dunno, I thought about him and wanted to see him. And well, I thought I could maybe keep him. Is that a problem?”

Tony heard the passive aggressive tone in his voice, but decided to let it be. Whatever they thought about that he didn't care, he had wished for company and he got it. He also felt responsible for Loki now, so he was willing to argue his point.

“There is no problem, we just wondered what you would do. I...” the alien trailed of with a smirk and licked his lips. “I had thought it would be a little more painful. Seeing as he has wronged you greatly. We also were worried that his strength might overwhelm you. You can have a bodyguard in here if you wish.“

 

Tony flashed the creature a smile that was as shark-like as it could get, contorting his face to the point where he could be sure no real emotion would show through.

“How very kind of you, but I don't think he's in any position to do much harm at the moment. I just patch him up a little, as you can see.”

The alien gravely nodded its head to him and dropped its rather happy behaviour to take on a serious one.

“Just know, that nobody here will judge you if you take your revenge in private. He knew what he has gotten himself into, he has to face the consequences.”

Was it trying to influence him? Into continuing what they had begun and torture the helpless victim? Feeling bile rising in his throat Tony sent an unfriendly smile in the direction of the alien. “Thank you for your concern, but I'd like to decide for myself what to do with him, yes?”

 

Oh that had hit a nerve, Tony could virtually see how the alien tried to worm itself into his good graces again. At least it had sensed his temper. “Yes. I only fail to see how you can be so merciful. When he-”

“I'm sorry but who said, I was merciful?” Okay, playing along then. Everything to get this disgusting creature to leave as soon as possible. “Not to say anything against the assistant you provided me with, but I like having company that looks a little more familiar. I think Loki will be most useful in assisting me once I am ready to build your weapons. Just think of the humiliation of him serving a “mere mortal”(complete with air quotes). If he doesn't cooperate I'll just send him back to your care. Believe me that is anything but merciful. I just... what would you say... I prefer the psychological forms of torture over the physical ones. Less likely to render the victim useless, you see.”

He flashed Hoodie a grin that he hoped looked more sincere than it felt. It seemed to be the case, as the other nodded slowly, pondering the things it just heard.

“You have an interesting point, Mr. Stark. Indeed you seem to be quite cunning, Lord Thanos will be pleased to hear of this. I apologize for not having realized earlier that you feel... comfortable around him. That way there is an actual use for Loki. I will not bother you further then. Fare well, Mr. Stark.”

Tony nodded agreeably and kept grinning until the other had left the room. Finally gone! Just when he started to become really riled up.

Sighing he ran his hands through his hair, scrubbed the back of his head and turned around to face his patient again. Loki laid there unnaturally still and tense, under the thick gauze Tony could sense him frown. The grin Tony flashed this other alien already felt more honest than his whole conversation before.

“You're awake again, aren't you? It's gone now, don't be afraid.”

Loki slowly turned his head to the side, irritated to not be able to see, and clearly uncomfortable in his position, but also afraid, he still seemed to want to put distance between them. His voice sounded uncharacteristically shy.

“I am... not able to help... you”, rasped Loki, trying to sit up and failing miserably.

“Oh, you will be, Lolo, you will help me save your ass as well as mine. If we make it out of here alive.”

He stretched out his hand to touch the other's cheek, ignoring the nervous twitching it evoked.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Manoeuvring Loki onto the bed was a pain. Tony did his best to ignore the grunts of pain the god was not able to hold back. The bastard was heavy. Like, really heavy, too heavy for his thin frame. _Super dense tissue, my ass._

In the end he managed it, ignoring the smear of blood that led over the floor to the bed now.

Once tucked in the god sighed tiredly and settled into the sheets, breathing heavily to cope with the pain. Tony busied himself with cleaning his floor of blood and grime, all the time _feeling_ how Loki was sensing his movement, listening carefully and even tense a little when he neared the bed. The feeling even followed him to the bathroom and back out again. It was like he was silently judging Tony for leaving him to his fate. As if his guilt didn't already eat at his thoughts. Enough was enough.

 

“Will you stop that already? You are tired, why don't you take a nap and let your fancy healing powers work their magic on your body. Oh right, you don't have that anymore, so uh, let's say let your fancy healing powers... heal your... uh... okay that was lame, but I'm exhausted. 't was a shitty day, really. I also didn't plan on taking half of it to play nurse. I have better things to do, you know. I am kind of an employee of Thanos now, with all the perks the job brings with it, as you might have noticed. And hey, you're kind of my slave now. At least on paper, if you know what I mean.”

Loki silently listened to his ranting, moving his head carefully in his direction and deflating a little with each sentence. He cowered in worry as Tony switched out the light and walked towards the bed. There were still little lights around the machines that emanated a smooth glow and gave off enough light to be able to see. It was hard not to feel pity.

“Listen carefully”, Tony began, now with a low voice as he sat next to Loki's head and looked down at him.

“I do under no circumstances plan to build that Thanos the weapons he wants, I will gladly die before I betray the Earth, let alone the whole universe. Instead I will find a way to escape, and if I have to build another Iron Man suit with super weapons to wipe the Chitauri out one by one, I will put my all and everything into it. I don't know how, I don't know when, but I will try to leave here, and call me crazy, I am not going to leave you behind, because I am a fucking hero like that. Got that?”

 

The god stayed silent for a while, he appeared to be puzzled and uneasy. Pursing his lips he took a deep breath and directed his face at Tony. It was unsettling to look down into the unseeing face of his companion.

“Why..?”

“Why what?”

“Why do you help me?”

Tony huffed out a laugh and felt himself relax. He let his gaze wander the workshop only to return to Loki, an easy smile on his lips, but his eyes were distant.

“Because everyone deserves a chance to right his wrongs. I have done things in my past I am not proud of, but someone showed me the right way and now I dedicate my life to make the world a better place. And I... well, I guess, you did not have someone who tried to help you in that regard. I do think you had lots of people who used you and your pain to do the exact opposite. And don't get me wrong, what you did on Earth was shit of a magnitude not many people are able to pull. But guess what. You helped me. I... I think I would have gone crazy on that slave ship if I didn't have you. And... the- comfort you brought me- … ah, scratch that, I'm really not good at this talk-about-feelings stuff.”

 

He rubbed his hands through his hair again, searching for the right words. “I think you capable of compassion, Lolo. I saw - see something in you worth saving. And I think I am able to be the “someone” to you, that shows you the way out of your darkness. Wow, that was deep.”

Tony waited a moment to let the words sink in and now that he said them he saw them to be the truth. Loki had been his anchor and in a way still was. It was paradox, but the god of lies was the only one on this wasteland of a planet he could trust. Even if it was only to escape from this place, their motivations were the same.

He felt calm again. Whatever the fuck the god did to his psyche, it was making him feel good. Maybe it was that he had a purpose that Loki reminded him of, maybe it was because he had something to do by looking after him. If he took care of Loki, he wouldn't have to deal with his own thoughts.

The god was a familiar face on a planet of monsters, a piece of home, if one will.

 

Lowering his gaze to Loki's face again, he noted the slight frown the man wore. And if that wasn't a thing of sadness, he didn't know what was. Couldn't he trust him even one bit? He had patched him up for Pete's sake! He must know that Tony wasn't an enemy? Well, at least it seemed they had a lot of time to get used to each other again.

When he pulled the gauze veiling Loki's neck aside to look at the infection he saw the other's rapidly pulsing veins. The poor thing was all jittery and tense, there was no way he would fall asleep voluntarily. Tony searched his workshop for the sleep-aiding drug he had used himself and took four pills out of the package. Surely the other's metabolism would need a bigger dose than he. He filled a cup with water and stepped back to the bed, where he carefully wormed his hand under Loki's head and lifted it up a little, pressing one of the pills to his lips with the other hand. Just as he had expected, the other clenched them tightly together.

“It's going to help you sleep, Lolo, I've taken it myself before. I know you don't trust me yet, but you are aware that you need sleep, yes? If I wanted to hurt you I would've done so already, you know. Come on, open up.”

He felt the god gulp, then slowly open his lips. Tony was careful and only nudged one pill between his lips, then setting the glass of water to them. Loki froze for a moment, before giving up and swallowing in small sips.

They repeated the procedure for the other pills, before Tony set the blind head down on the pillow again and stroked the other's neck, in case he was storing the pills somewhere in the back of his throat. Loki shifted uneasily, but in the end swallowed a few times, convincing Tony that he had indeed taken the pills.

 

They sat in silence for a while when Tony noticed Loki's breathing slowly evening out. Despite himself he reached down and caressed the other's cheek until he was sure he had fallen asleep. A quick look at his clocks told him that it was well past dinnertime, so he stood up, gathered himself something to eat and put his mind to an escape plan. It was embarrassing how he came up with nothing beyond “build an Iron Man suit and blast your way out of here”.

There also was the problem of actually getting back to Earth, through half of the known or unknown universe. He wasn't sure if he could manage to steal the Chitauri's new warship when it was finished, hell, he didn't even know when it would be finished. But he wasn't alone anymore. It was not _his_ problem, it was _theirs_ , and that felt incredibly good.

 

When the clock displayed ten pm he gave up and went to bed. He found it plain wrong that settling beside Loki for sleep felt conversant. The other's smell was covered by the iron stench of blood and the clinic tang of disinfectant, but he still was able to sense it. Damning what that said about him, he inched closer to Loki, where he could take a hold of his hand under the thick sheets and closed his eyes.

He fell asleep effortlessly.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

His sleep was light but free of terrors. Were he superstitious, he would have thought Loki had enchanted him to rescue his pale ass out of whatever torture chamber the Chitauri had dumped him in. Tony sat up in the bed and looked beside him to find his little god of mischief vast asleep. The troublemaker needed the rest and Tony let him.

Getting up he felt like learning today. He called for his assistant via an electric signal when he opened up his Chitauri databases. Mere minutes later the alien arrived at his door and sat next to him in front of the giant screen. It threw a brief look to Loki on the bed, but didn't comment on it. It wasn't its place to ask and Tony didn't have to justify his decision. Word would probably soon be around the base that he had taken a slave into his room.

When he was busy learning from his assistant, a little revelation came to him: The pile of information he had still to read on their technology shrank down bit by bit. Soon his procrastinating technique No. 1 would draw to a close.

At least he could pretend to begin building a nuclear missile by making a case for it. A nice, not so aerodynamic case that was flawed and kind of unusable in flight, because he as an unwitting civilian knew no better. Yeah, that was a thing that surely would take long.

 

As early as the first day of his so called collaboration with the Chitauri he had checked their database for information on Earth. Luckily they had no idea about nuclear power, nor were aware of his career as a weapon engineer. He could pretend to be oblivious about the concept and take even longer. Until now he had only researched, his assistant translating and explaining patiently. Tony had said that he wanted as much knowledge as possible before he began constructing and they hadn't questioned that. What was strange was the fact that they not even once had bothered to check on him, although he guessed that his trusty assistant was also a spy. The kid seemed harmless enough, which made it suspicious.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Loki slept for five days. In about as much time Tony finished reading and decoding the last data on Chitauri tech his computer contained. He thanked his assistant for its aid and dismissed it. Bye bye, spy.

Having nothing better to do, Tony began to draw schematics and build plates for a nuclear missile. The trick was that they would not only (or better not at all) fit on such a missile but also on an Iron Man suit. The blueprints he had drawn would have looked crazy to anyone familiar with the normal design for a nuclear missile, but the Chitauri didn't know better. They saw his design and the things he built and would have no qualms about them.

He had noticed that his knowledge of space travel was lacking too much to be of use to him. But he was lucky, he knew a conveniently advanced alien who did. And that alien just so happened to live in his room at the moment. A childish and hopeful part of Tony was convinced that Loki would be able to help him.

 

Tony was happily cutting metal, emitting volleys of sparks in all directions and hummed his favourite AC/DC songs. Halfway through Hells Bells he heard the rustling of sheets behind him. Shoving his welding goggles up above his hairline he beelined to the bed and saw Loki moving. The hand with the two unbroken fingers fumbled with the gauze that was obscuring his eyes. Just as Tony was about to protest, the bandage came off and revealed a working second eye. The deep gash that had blinded the eye had faded to a scar, an ugly thing, but a far cry from the gash of five days prior.

Loki blinked a few times while he accustomed himself with the bright lights Tony had turned on for work. His eyes fixed on the hand he had used to pull the bandage off and the three fingers jutting out in different directions. First Tony wondered what he would do, but Loki bit his lip and pressed his hand down to the sheets and rolled it. Several cracking sounds later the fingers were straight once more, if a little wobbly. The god looked pleased, his gaze wandered from his nearly repaired hand towards Tony, who stared in horror at the patient.

“Morning sunshine. How're you feeling?” Tony was dumbstruck by the harsh repair he had just witnessed, but felt relief that his soon-to-be partner in crime was livelier.

“Better.” Meek, almost shy, then slightly more secure: “My body slowly heals.”

“Yeah, I see that. Heard it also now. It didn't heal the broken bones though. Does... eh, does your body have priorities?” He got a lopsided smile for his efforts, but not a mean one.

“Yes, it heals terminal damage first. Some of my bones have mended. Others are too far out of shape. I think I have to reset them manually.” Loki paused, then looked directly into Tony's face, eyes searching. “Thank you, Anthony Stark.”

A smile tucked at Tony's lips. “You're welcome. And it's just Tony.” The engineer got the impression that Loki really made an effort to be social. Well, he wasn't in a position to make threats, anyway, but the gesture was nice. It also heightened his hopes that he would cooperate to ensure their escape. Loki's face bared any emotion, but he looked way livelier than he had before. There was something akin to hope in his eyes now, but also fear... of something Tony could not put his finger on. He just hoped he wasn't afraid of _him._

 

“You should probably stay in bed today, you know, rest and heal. Can you sit up?”

At fist it looked like he could, but his head had just left the pillow, when he hissed in pain and sank back. Through gritted teeth he managed: “Seems... seems that my spine is still rebellious.”

“Okay, you turn it down a notch and mend, and I return to my work, deal?”

The god nodded slowly, tucked the sheet further up his body and closed his eyes again. Tony did what he just had prompted and returned to his workbench. His mood had heightened noticeably, he was humming songs again before he even sat down and continuing welting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trivia: Where does the name "Sin in Silence" come from?
> 
> "The scandal of the world is what makes the offence; it is not sinful to sin in silence."  
> -Moliere


	11. Nearing

In the end it took two more days before Loki could attempt to leave the bed at all. He slept most of the time and mended, only spoke to Tony when he asked him questions. There was something in the air that they would have to deal with eventually, but Tony thought he might wait with addressing it until Loki was up and running again. His attempts to feed the god in bed were answered with glares, though they lacked their usual poison and were underlined with worry. Tony let it lie after that.

One morning Loki sat up and carefully turned to the side, so that his lanky legs would hang from the bed. He slowly put weight onto his legs and tried to push up from the bed without losing balance.

Tony stood next to him and wanted to help. When Loki leant forward he wanted to put his arm around the other's waist to support him, but as soon as he touched Loki the god stiffened and ceased moving.

“What's wrong? Something hurt? I can see if I can get painkillers for you-”

Tony was stopped mid-ramble by a hand that Loki had raised in his direction. He bit his lip and turned to look at the floor.

“I...”, Loki gulped. “Would you mind...”

Tony looked at his stammering roommate when his face fell in realization. He pulled his arm back and took a step away from Loki, giving him room to stand on his own. He did his best to ignore the hollow look in his eyes and the sweat pearling from his forehead.

“It's okay, I won't touch you again. But I will catch you if you fall, okay?”

 

Loki nodded his thanks and continued to stand up straight and taking a few steps, all the while seeming like he just learned how to walk. Well, in a way he did, but his movements were very slow and very careful. He watched his feet intently and so didn't notice his environs. Tony reacted too late when the god hit his shoulder – not even too hard – on a nearby cupboard. First he tensed again, then began breathing heavily, face veiled by his hair.

When he didn't move, Tony quickly walked to him, stroking hair out of his face and looking at him. He was about to ask what was wrong, when he looked into Loki's face, scrunched up and closed off, awaiting pain.

“Hey, shh... it's okay, did it hurt?” He got a shake of the head for an answer. “It's okay you know... you body probably expects pain, even from harmless touches. Here, let me...”

He again wormed his arm around the other, this time lowering them both carefully to the floor. Loki shook slightly, looked at him from under his lashes and was curling into himself. Tony guessed that being touched, no matter how harmless, wasn't easy on him. Maybe he could change that.

The other shied away from his touch again, but Tony didn't let up, stroked his ribcage with soothing motions.

“Come on, you can let yourself go. Maybe have a good cry, talk to me, yell at me, whatever floats your boat. What's on your heart?”

Loki watched his hands for a while, then slowly brushed his hair back over his head. Green eyes stared in front of him, seeing something Tony couldn't.

“I have cried enough. I tire of it. And I... do not understand you.” The admission looked painful, the other avoided his face actively. Again, Tony was moving in strange tides, he wasn't good at pep talk or even therapy, he only had himself as a compass.

“What do you not understand? That I am willing to help you or that I needed so long to see who the real villain here was? Look, what I said about second chances... I mean it. I should have realized it earlier, I know, but I can't go back and change it now. I'm just human, we make mistakes. Quite a lot in my case. But I try, okay? Would have been nice if that realization had come a little earlier, yes, I give you that...”

Loki scoffed, again without his usual poison behind it. “I have not expected anything less. I am your enemy, it would have been stupid to act differently.”

“I am _not_ your enemy! Not anymore, okay?”, Tony used his free hand to gesture around. “And it was stupid to act so in the first place, torture is absolutely not okay, no matter who it happens to. I should have seen the signs, yeah, but I didn't. Again, I. Was. Stupid. Had I known I would've acted differently, I would do pretty much anything to turn back time and ask for you to be brought here earlier. Please tell me what I can do to make you believe me, because I obviously can't tell.”

 

Instead of answering Loki just sighed and played with his stiff looking fingers. Tony relentlessly stroked his side though and waited for the other to relax. He did, in the end, but the face Loki was making didn't get any better.

“It is all right. I need time to adjust.”

“Nothing is alright, buddy, so much I can see. Relax, try to heal, yell at me if I'm stupid. Anything to make you feel better. They won't break us. We'll get out of here, I promise. And if you can believe nothing of what I just said... see it from the logical side, I know I can trust you, because you want to get away from here. So do I. So you can trust me in turn, but that trust doesn't come at a price, you know. It would be great if you helped me, but I will take you with me any way. Because I feel guilty and because I really believe in that stuff with second chances. Besides, you kinda grew on me. Got that?”

The deity slowly turned his head towards him. At least he had reached him finally. The eyes looked distrustful and unsure, but now there was something akin to hope hidden deep within a green pool of despair. A beginning.

“It is a bad idea to trust me.”

“Oh haven't you noticed? Bad ideas are kinda my shtick.”

It must have been in his tone, or his delivery, he didn't know what, but Loki's lips pulled into a tight smile at that. He also wasn't shivering anymore. The arm around him seemed almost forgotten.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Time passed. Tony learned what being a “god of lies” actually meant and was glad that he wasn't on the receiving end of it. At least he hoped he wasn't. But their new objective, namely to fool the Chitauri enough that they let Loki stay as Tony's household slave, hinged on his believability.

Loki accepted him better with each day, he probably came to the conclusion that Tony really was trying his best to somehow make up for his failure.

 

Most of his injuries had healed, deep scars faded day by day, he was able to move again painlessly if he didn't exert himself too much. What stayed were two fingers that remained completely numb even after the gruesome ruin of his hand had healed.

Aside from that some bones in his left hip seemed to have mended crookedly, he walked with a slight limp now that didn't get better.

It had taken Loki a while to get used to Tony again, in the beginning he had been twitchy and trying to avoid contact, but in the end eased up quite fast. His body trauma was severe, but Tony made a point of touching him carefully whenever the situation arose, so that he might get used to it. It had the pleasant side effect of soothing the engineer's nerves also and making them work together better. He was also the absolute only one Loki was okay being touched by, the few times visiting Chitauri tried to mock the “slave”, his reaction was bad and he usually ended up locking himself into the bathroom. There was nothing Tony could do about that without dropping their act, eventually he just tried to comfort the other when they were alone again.

The walls the god had built around him weren't torn down, but Tony could sense himself slowly worming behind his defences. The strange thing was that he realized he had missed this, the proximity, the smell, the company. But well, they were on the best way to make themselves as cosy as they could in their situation.

Tony had him running around in a spare tunic that hung from Loki's shoulders and covered his body down to the middle of his thighs and a belt that gave the offending cloth a little form. Since they had no way to get their hands on fitting trousers without raising suspicion, the god was naked underneath it, but didn't mind it terribly. The engineer himself also thought that having a slave running around half-naked was a nice touch.

At first Loki did not talk to him at all, aside from necessary bits and asking questions, whenever Tony tried to explain what he was doing head over heals. Loki also didn't need to talk much, Tony did it all the more for him. It was great to talk again, also to talk about science and plans of a better future. The god wasn't stupid, he understood quickly and could even correct some mistakes Tony made in calculations. Only they weren't mistakes, Tony didn't make mistakes in his work. They were more like... happy little accidents.

 

And he managed to make progress.

The front of his room was brimming with “missile parts” that absolutely, most sincerely did not look like parts for a different weapon altogether. Nope, not at all. At least not to the Chitauri.

Tony had guessed correctly, his assistant and tutor had been a spy. As soon as he no longer required its help and sent it away, Chitauri officers, soldiers, scholars and all the other caboodle visited him daily for increasingly ridiculous reasons.

They also failed with astounding vigour at disguising their inquiries regarding his research in everyday conversation. Tony sometimes had to make a great effort not to burst into laughing when they visited him.

Since Loki was able to walk around again, he was playing his role as Stark's household slave flawlessly; Tony was always amazed to see that the proud god was indeed able to swallow his pride when necessary. As soon as a Chitauri entered the room, his whole demeanour changed: His shoulders slumped, his gaze fixed to the floor, he even played a very convincing act of reluctantly kneeling at Tony's side whenever he wasn't able to reach a cloth to clean the floor with fast enough. Needless to say the floor looked like you could eat from it.

 

The times they were alone were those where he was really useful though. Tony soon learned that he could rely on him, and he made sure that Loki felt that. He thought to notice that this trust was doing something good to Loki's psyche. That this could end really badly was a possibility, but one he was willing to risk.

Loki could tell Tony a lot about space travel, apparently he had been a scholar in Asgard who had specialized in interplanetary travel. He also had been the only one, since there had not been need of alternatives to the Bifröst (Tony had laughed long and hard at the explanation that it was a “rainbow bridge” and Loki hadn't understood why) most people in Asgard busied themselves with other things. Loki told him of his feud with the gatekeeper and the resulting necessity to be able to get around on his own.

He even remembered critical details of the Chitauri's base which housed them at the moment that could prove useful, should they need backup escape routes.

Loki was eager to help. Tony had the feeling that the god was afraid Tony would abandon him again, and he had not yet gathered the courage to talk to him about that. Mainly because he had no idea what he could say to change that.

His partner seemed to have developed a nasty case of separation anxiety, and Tony was afraid that it was party his fault. He had managed to ease his body problems but at the same time shoved himself into the other's life. He felt pretty bad about that.

 

 

The “Chitauri of the day” had just left their room and Loki was kneeling on the floor beside Tony and picked up little metal shards that had fallen there, when Tony finally snapped.

He put down the metal plate he was currently bending and looked at Loki who was oblivious to his staring. Only when he stroked a hand through the black hair he looked up.

“Please drop that act. I know they have to believe that I treat you badly, but I start to think that I really do.”

Loki's forehead wrinkled up in puzzlement when he dropped the metal shards into the bin next to him. Then he turned his face towards Tony.

“Why would you? Did I do something to... aggravate you?”

“Wha- no, you did nothing wrong. But I feel bad because you are kneeling here, half naked and pretend to be my freaking slave. It's kinda necessary to fool them, but... it still makes me feel bad.” That wasn't exactly his problem, but maybe he could approach it carefully. Step by step.

First thing he did was slide to the floor besides his comrade and pull him close. Loki was still confused, also a little nervous.

“I don't know how to say this, but I don't want you to think I use you for my means. I want you to understand that this is more like a collaboration, not a one man show.”

Loki looked at him for a long while, face unreadable. One of the less stellar things of him feeling better was his ability to mask his emotions again. He didn't betray one thing when he wanted.

“Why do you care how I feel about this? You said you would escape and help me out of here as well. I take it we have a deal, I only help you.”

“Yes, and don't think that help isn't appreciated”, Tony stammered quickly. “One might even say it is crucial, seeing as you know things about space and all that. I want to go home badly, I need you for that. But I don't want you to think that I just use you for greater means.”

“It is all right, we share the same objective here. I help you find a way to flee and when you do, you help me escape as well. I do not see your point.”

Tony wanted to hit his head onto the chair next to him. “Yes, of course, but... I have a problem with that. I dunno... you seem unhappy.”

 

The god scoffed and made a sloppy gesture with his hand. “Whatever gave you that idea. Is it that I am imprisoned on a hostile planet where I was tortured for nine days and still would be if my … former enemy had not taken mercy on me? That I have to rely on said former enemy to have at least a chance to ever leave here again?”

Uneasily Tony shuffled around a little on the floor, until he was able to face Loki. His arm still laid around his waist, fiddling with the thin fabric of the tunic.”So that's it, huh? You can't trust me.”

Loki looked like he wanted to protest, but Tony quickly halted him. “No, I don't judge you. Believe me, I know a whole lot about trust issues. But as you said, we have the same objective. What is it that you fear?”

A longer pause, the deity seemed to really be torn to whether he should tell or not. Tony nudged him gently, before he finally found the courage to answer.

“You are not going to leave me here, are you?”

“Hell no. You still think that badly of me?” Could he blame him? Not really. However it didn't make this any easier. His face must have shown his annoyance, because he looked at the other who quickly turned away.

Loki shook his head, intent on getting what he wanted now. “Swear it.”

Tony quickly thought about saying, that even oaths could be broken, but decided it wouldn't improve the situation right now.

“Okay, I swear. On what should I swear? On my life? On Pepper's? On a box of cornflakes?”

“Do not jest”, snapped Loki silently. Tony had hit a nerve as it seemed. “An oath is not to be taken lightly. I might not have my magic to seal the oath, but know that breaking one is a crime against your own spirit. It is... the only reliance I have.”

Yeah, Tony wasn't good with all that spirit stuff, he had never believed in souls and abstract concepts as deities and demigods. But there sat one right next to him. If he were honest he was more like an alien, but did it really make a difference? Aliens were real, magic was real, cosmic powers were real. He believed in his conscience well enough, if the guilt that was still consuming him was any indicator.

“Okay then. I swear to you, that I will help you escape once we are ready to. Not because you are useful, but because you don't deserve to suffer here. Because I came to regard you as a friend. And I don't let friends down. How does that sound?”

“Like a bad idea.” But Loki's tiny warm smile betrayed his thoughts. Tony could work with that, he really could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Busy RL ahead, an update could take a while, sorry~


	12. Habits of Thinking

It was the morning of the sixth day after the god had awoken, when Tony had finished cutting all plates he needed for an armour. Next on his list were repulsor substitutes, running on Chitauri tech. One thing he had to admit was that the Chitauri made excellent energy storages. With their knowledge he would be able to get much more powerful thrusters that required less space than his old ones. Less space for transport translated to more fire power. And he needed fire power badly, since their plan still consisted of “blasting the way out of the base”, though more refined, because Loki had informed him of its geography.

 

He was carefully filling cases with globs of energy conduction gel, when Loki limped out of the bathroom and stood behind him.

Loki stood in silence for a while, then gently jogged his elbow. His face was scrunched up in concentration.

“Yeah?” He looked up to his roommate, who made a face like he was concentrating on something and not be able to ban it from his mind.

“I... I had an idea while I was showering.”

“Ah, the classic forge for ideas: the shower stall. What is it?”

The god gave a scrutinizing gaze over to the door, then knelt beside Tony in close proximity. The engineer subconsciously laid his arm over the other's shoulders and listened.

 

“The device in your chest... It is the thing that prevented the sceptre to take control of you, is it not?" 

He didn't like it when people casually asked questions about the reactor, especially if said people were (former) enemies. But the god seemed to be onto something, so he would humour him for a while. _Trust, Tony... all or nothing._

“Yes, I suppose.”

A nod, then carefully: “I take it you built it yourself? If so... it... _he_ said it himself, you... somehow harnessed the power of the Tesseract?”

“Uhm yeah, kinda.” Tony wondered where this would lead, but if Loki had an idea, he should help him. “It.. it's complicated. Steve- I mean, the Captain, the soldier is from another time. I guess Barton has told you enough about that, but in his time there was an organization that had found the Cosmic Cube and experimented on it. When they were beaten, the Cube was lost in the sea along with Steve. This was when he was frozen. So, you see uh... Stevie-boy knew my dad and they were... friends, I guess, so my dad searched for him. He did not find Steve, but he found the Tesseract.

“My father was a science nut just like I am today. He experimented on it and discovered some things... though he wasn't able to work too much with them because their tech level was too low back then. Instead he found a way to let me in on his knowledge by hiding a message in architectural plans that he was sure I would use. I discovered it in a time I needed it most. In my time and age - the Earth that you know from your last visit - I was able to work with his information. I created a new element - not the fancy “Air, Water, Fire stuff, more like-”

“I am familiar with with the periodic system of elements”, Loki interrupted, not dignifying Tony with more reaction. He listened intently though.

“Ah, nice, very nice, just peachy. So, I kinda created a new element. Seeing as I am a genius, I... didn't think terribly much about that, but – and now that I think about it it sorta feels like a great accomplishment – ah – what was I saying?”

 

Loki's eyes turned towards the ceiling and he sighed dramatically, then looked at Tony again. “You were saying that you were working on an accomplishment-”

“Ha! Yes, thanks. So, I, well, to be honest, I reverse engineered the Tesseract. I used what knowledge I had of it and put it to good use to get this nice glowy thing in my chest to work. Bam, instant awesome.” He watched Loki expectantly, grinning like an idiot. _Perfectly able to boast in front of an ancient norse deity: Tony Stark, ladies and gentlemen!_

Loki was impressed, though he didn't show it. At least Tony was positive, that he was impressed. Loki knew the powers of the Cube, how could he be not impressed by him?

“So the device has traces of the Tessaract's power? You have not interfered with its integrity?”

Tony scratched his head. “Well, no, I took my father's instructions and engineered it. I think it is as pure as you can get. What are you-?”

“Are you able to build another one?”, Loki interrupted before Tony could begin rambling again. “I understand you do not want to harm the one in your chest in case my plan fails, so... could you?”

“Whoa whoa, Lolo, how about you first tell me what your plan is? Gonna be essential to my willingness to build one.”

The god nodded slowly and sought eye contact. “If you can build one, a Tesseract substitute - even if it is not equal in power, we could use it to create a portal. To Mid- to Earth, for example.”

 

Tony's face slowly lit up in understanding. Loki really was onto something. Tony considered the god for a moment. “Okay, sounds pretty fancy, but... Selvig needed several days to build a machine that was able to handle the Cube, and he is actually that sort of scientist who studies that kind of stuff. From the looks of it it was a complicated process, I might not be able to do it that quickly. But aside from that he needed a freaky amount of Energy. I don't see how-”

“No, he built the machine to establish a stable portal. We would only need a doorway, it could be open for only a second, that would be enough time to escape. A short burst of energy to activate the device would be enough.”

Tony looked on his desk and started scribbling some things on a digital notepad. “Yeah, a mini portal, like a door that is open for a very short while so we can get through, but the Chitauri don't... That doesn't sound bad, you know...”

Tony was stroking his goatee and stared into the distance, his mind already running with possibilities. They needed stuff, rare materials, a steady flow of energy. The Chitauri had told him they would bring him any material needed, so no problem there. He had Tall, Dark and Batshit with him who was versed in space travel. This could actually work out.

“Okay, but let's say I manage the machinery part, how do we determine where it drops us off?”

There was a mischievous sparkle in Loki's eyes, as he said: “Magic.”

When Tony's face fell blank in puzzlement the god actually huffed out a laugh, his green eyes suddenly lively and kind.He smiled with his eyes only. What a sight to behold. It took away the air of aloofness that usually surrounded him and made him seem younger. Tony had found out a while ago that Loki's tired looking eyes were the only evidence that the god was an age old deity. Now he was looking at Tony with childish excitement.

“Wait a moment, I thought Magic was just “Science humanity doesn't understand yet”? So another iteration of what I already do and know?” At least Doctor Foster had told him so when they had met. That had been shortly after the invasion.

Loki just rolled his eyes to the ceiling. “Did Thor say that?” From his expression and tone alone Tony could very well make out what the other thought of that.

“Well, yes. You saying he lied?”

“No. I am just saying that Thor is neither a magician, nor a scientist. I would think twice before I trusted his opinion on the matter.” Loki looked at him again and relaxed a little into the arm around him. Tony actually thought about what he said and smiled lopsidedly.

“Touché. But tell me if I'm wrong, you don't have your magic at the moment, do you?” He looked at the other and let his hand wander along his spine.

“I may not have my inner magic, but I still know how the forces of the cosmos work. I am sure you will be able to harness the needed energy. Magic and science are not the same, but they are similar. Our only problem will be the initiation of energy.Let me explain the rest to you when the time arises. I understand that magic is a new subject to you, but it will hardly interfere with your work.”

“Well... okay... This could very well work out. I should start doing blueprints...”

Tony felt jittery, the familiar pull of curiosity he associated with science settled over his nerves. He also mentally slapped himself that even the knowledge that he had reverse engineered the Tesseract had never prompted him to think about the possibilities. He had the power of the fucking Cosmic Cube on his hands!

 

He turned to face Loki and grinned like a mad man.

“Why was this not my idea?”

Loki now actually smiled. He _smiled_ , subtly but with all his features, and he looked _good_ doing it. Before he could stop himself, he had reached out his hand and pulled Loki close by his neck. Their noses brushed, and he suddenly realized what he was doing, and pulled away, leaving a confused Loki sitting on the floor beside him.

“Uh... sorry, sorry that was... uh... awkward. Dunno what I'm doing, guess I'm just... giddy. Yap.”

Kudos to himself for not leaving his place, and just beginning to open up a file for portal construction. Loki was professional about it himself, he didn't mention it the almost-thing again.

After a while they were immersed in work. Tony listened to the things Loki could tell him about cosmic energy and interplanetary travel. Together they designed a prototype mini reactor that should be able to produce enough energy for their little project. Loki might never have heard about Earth technology and Tony didn't know shit about magic, but they found a common language in maths and physics. Universal truths were universal truths after all, no matter where in the universe you were.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Tony completely forgot the time, as it always was when he was working intensively. Add intensive work to the long list of things he had missed doing. 'twas a little sad that he first had to be kidnapped to appreciate his life, really.

Several hours after the inception of their plan he finally looked at his wall of clocks to see that it was well past midnight. Very well past midnight, you could almost call it morning again. Might aswell calling it a day then. Nudging Loki with his finger he gestured towards the bed, then stood up and left for the bathroom.

When he returned, Loki had already taken off his belt and slipped under the covers. It was a thing they had developed (again) during the last six days: going to bed together and sleeping in close proximity, it has become a habit they both relished.

Their thoughts were still riled up, so before sleep claimed them, they still chatted a little about details, about escape. Tony's thoughts wandered to Earth, to the place where he would return to, where he would visit his friends, and maybe would even be able to get along with Pepper again.

“Not in a romantic way, I think that train has left the station once and for all, but we were friends before, you know.”

“Do you miss them?”, Loki inquired, eyes half closed and drawing patterns on Tony's upper arm with his fingertips.

“Of course I do! They... they put up with all the crap I pull and still they are always there for me. If I didn't have them I don't know what I'd do, honestly. I mean, machines are great and all, but they can't replace social contacts. Used to be a real hothead before my accident, after that most people abandoned me. Makes you really thankful for the real friends. Do you miss home?”

“I have no home.”

Tony was giving Loki an odd look. “Of course you have. What about Asgard and all your fancy pancy palaces and temples? Your family-”

“I have. No. Home. I do not consider Asgard my home, never should have.” Wow, that seemed to have hit a nerve. Being the considerate and kind person he was, Tony naturally did not let it lie.

“Okay, but say, Thor! He considers Asgard your home and your famil-”

“ _Do not_ bring up that oaf. He is not my brother and it is childish of him to keep trying to pretend so. I wish to sleep now, Tony.”

 

With that he tried to turn his back to Tony, but the engineer was having none of it. He grabbed the god's arm and turned him around forcefully, looking into his eyes. Tony let his hand wander from the arm to Loki's side and leisurely began to stroke the skin there. From his experience it should calm Loki down.

This time however, it seemed to achieve the exact opposite, as the man shifted uncomfortably under his touch. The look the deity gave him spoke of what he thought about this conversation. Tony was treading on thin ice it seemed.

“You can't tell me you care about nobody! You- you have to miss something you want to return to!”

“Why can you not accept that it is not so? I care about nobody and nobody cares about me. My former “home” has outlawed me, the legacy of my deeds has spread throughout the nine realms, the only one of which where I would not be helpless because of the loss of my magic I tried to take over. I have been a captive since I fell through space, fist here, then on Earth, then on Asgard, then on a forsaken slave ship and now here again. I do not even know what humiliation is any more, I have gotten so used to it.” Loki looked annoyed rather than sad, an alarming sign to Tony.

“Then why do you even want to escape, if there's nothing that you could strife for!?” Whoops, that came out harsher than intended, but before Tony could correct himself he was taken aback by the expression he found on Loki's face.

How someone managed to look sad, serene and self-loathing all at once was a miracle to him.

“Yes, Stark, is not that the interesting question?”, Loki sneered. “Why do I keep on going even if I have nothing to go towards?” He seemed to really contemplate the question and Tony dreaded the conclusion he would come to.

“I suppose it would be simpler if I just stopped. End the paradox that my life has become and stop fighting. All my life, Tony, I have asked myself where I would belong. Only in the most recent years of my overlong existence I have learned the answer is “nowhere”. Now I have forfeit the chance to return to anything and I am too tired to build something new only to get it torn from me again. Those months in the tiny cell, deprived of everything I am were actually the happiest times I have experienced in the last ages or so, pathetic as it were. It is no use, whatever I do, it is wrong. I am tired, Tony, just tired.”

 

This was most definitely not what Tony had intended their conversation to go like. “No, no, you should start anew, try to find happiness! Why should it be torn from you?”

“Because it always is. It seems to be in my nature to make the worst possible decisions at the worst possible times. I am really terribly tired now, Tony, I want to sleep.” Loki really was exasperated now.

“I will let you sleep, Lolo, but not before we resolved this! I am not going to sleep now just so you can plan your suicide in silence because I brought up a stupid question! I think you don't know what you're saying, you are so- so... wallowed in your self-pity that you don't see one important thing!”

Loki sighed tiredly and closed his eyes. “And what would that be?”

Stark almost felt bad about pressing the matter, but he wouldn't save Loki the trouble. Not when the other would be more hurt by silence in the end.

“You are still here. You came up with an escape plan. That has to say _something_ about your will to live!”

 

Green eyes snapped open and fixed on Tony's face, searching. The engineer didn't know what for, but eventually Loki seemed to have come to a conclusion.

“You were nice to me. You said you cared. I... I do not wish for you to die.”

“Uhm... thanks?”

“So, may I now-”

“Ey, take a chill-pill, Lolo, I'll let you sleep soon enough.” He had to do something! This man was so broken and desperate it wasn't even funny anymore. Yeah, ha-ha norse deity with daddy-issues, just not so funny if said deity was up to his throat in trouble because he just couldn't cope.

Tony cupped the other's face in his hand, not at all surprised to feel the crinkles of a deep frown there.

“Come with me. To Earth. I'll take you in, if you want. I have space in the tower, you can have a whole floor to do with as you please. We'll find you something to do, okay? Hell, we could research together, look how well it worked today.

And don't even ask why, you already know it. I care about you. I care, and I want your face to look as happy as it did when you explained magic to me all the time. You managed to change my opinion of you and you will be able to change other people's too, if you cut all that insecure ruling-your-own-planet crap and just be yourself. It'll work out, you'll see. You have something that makes you likeable, you just need to stop hiding it. So... do we have a deal?”

 

They laid in silence for a while, Tony could see the gears turning in Loki's head. He took a breath to continue elaborating on his just developed after-escape plan, but he was stopped. Instead of answering, Loki leant forward and kissed first Tony's right palm then the left, then leant his head forward until his forehead touched Tony's collarbone.

The engineer almost missed the whispered “thank you”.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whee, plans, plans, plans over plans.  
> And hey, as soon as Tony's feeling better, the narration becomes more lighthearted. Who'da thunk it.


	13. Dinner for One

The both of them slept long into the following day. In fact, they were woken by a knock at the door. Tony shot up into a sitting position, blinking sleep out of his eyes, while trying to regain his orientation. Still wondering why nobody just opened the door like they did all the time anyway, he noticed that he was tenting the thin sheet massively.

Yes, great moment to sport morning wood the size of a Pringles can. Okay, that was maybe stretching it a little, but the offending appendage surely looked like it to him.

The knocking again, already sounding less polite than before. Loki was up beside him, eyeing Tony's crotch. Before he could protest, Loki had pulled the covers away and placed himself between his legs, freeing his erection.

“Wha- what are you doing?”, Tony hissed, a little shocked.

“Call them in”, was everything Loki said to him, before bowing down and stroking his cheek along the shaft while he took Tony's right hand and curled it into a fist in his hair. Tony would probably be aroused if he weren't so damn confused. Completely stunned he called for the alien out of the door to come in.

The words had barely left his lips, as the door was shoved open, two Chitauri officers entering, one of which was his old friend Hoodie.

 

The aliens were taking a few steps into the room then stopped dead in their tracks. An awkward pause ensued, filled only with the wet sounds Loki was making with his mouth in close proximity to Tony's cock. It already became harder to concentrate. The hand he had in the dark black hair was clenching and unclenching itself of its own volition.

“We are most sorry to interrupt you, Mr. Stark. We were... worried that you had skipped a meal.” The creature was looking at Loki and its features twisted into a mean spirited sneer. The god's hands had clenched to shivering fists in the sheets next to Tony's thighs, he was expertly acting out retching sounds.

“We may return later.” A quick bow, and they were gone.

Tony was doing his best impression of a gaping fish when he turned away from the door and looked down to where the god was nosing around his crotch, curtain of hair veiling his face, then sitting up again, freeing his hair from Tony's hand and licking his lips.

“I am sorry to have assaulted you this way. I had to act quickly.” When Tony was still gaping at him, looking by all means like an imbecile, Loki's lips rose to a tiny smile. “They think I am your slave. Slaves only stay in the bed of their masters when they are also pleasure slaves. Until now they probably think me to sleep on the floor, but we slept in. You do not wish our plans to be discovered just yet, do you? I kept up our charade, I am sorry.”

 

With that he was up and out of the bed to the bathroom, leaving a stunned Tony sitting on the bed, watching alternately the bathroom door and his erection. Surprise-blowjob interruptus.

Was Loki hitting on him?

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Loki left the bath quite a while later, strutting through the room and settling down in Tony's workspace and began checking over their data.

Tony watched his back for a while before getting the hint and making his own way to the adjacent room. He stood under the shower letting warm water flow over his body and took himself in hand. His mind was peacefully blank, a rare phenomenon for him, not at all unpleasant. He has never been shy regarding his sexuality and it was precisely for that reason. As a genius his mind was always racing, a useful thing really, if one wanted to work. But sometimes he needed a break, and surely the best thing to clear your mind was amazing, mind blowing sex. Or alcohol, but he kinda ditched that after Pepper had had a long, a very long talk with him about offering murderous villains drinks and the resulting threats to his life.

She also weaned him from this habit by distracting him with sex. Come to think of it he felt a little like a conditioned dog now. Pepper Pavlov would also be a nice nickname.

 

He stroked his length idly for a while before deciding that only the physical sensation wouldn't do. Tony thought of conjuring images of Pepper, however he found that counterproductive after a short while. Pepper was a friend now, no naughty thoughts about friends. He didn't think about Rhodey during masturbating after all. Or Bruce. Or Loki.

Or... Loki? He had barely thought of the god when a lively image of his pink mouth around his prick entered his mind. Loki hadn't even really blown him, where did that image come from? Nevertheless his erection swelled happily courtesy of the fantasies.

Well, it wouldn't hurt to let it slide, just this once.

Tony closed his eyes and searched his memory for the feel of the god's body under his hands. After spending so much time together constantly touching each other he found it wasn't hard at all to imagine a lively fantasy. The warm, smooth skin, the dips and juts of his bones, the silky black hair and again and again his mouth around Tony's cock, eagerly sucking while he hollowed out his cheeks and looked up at him from under thick lashes.

His hand worked his prick hard and fast, the fantasies of his companion's body vividly in his mind. He leant against the tiles of the shower, gasping for air and spine arching in pleasure when he rubbed his thumb over his slit, each time twitching at the stimulation of the sensitive area.

The images kept coming, Loki sucking him off, rubbing against his thighs while working him with his hand, softly thrusting between his thighs from behind, writhing under him with his legs spread wide ( _where did that come from now?_ ), Loki, bound and gagged, kneeling before him, ass up in the air and begging for his cock with his body ( _Whoah, whoah, whoah, turn it down a notch there, Tony_ ), and ultimately his body bucked and spilled his seed over his hand to a mental image of them _kissing_.

Whoopsie-doodle. When he opened his eyes and regained his breath Tony turned off the water of the shower and stepped outside. His hands gripped the sink while he looked into the mirror, searching his face, for what he didn't know. He was hit by the small but insistent feeling that there might be something he was neither ready, nor willing to admit.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The whole day he felt watched. He felt like Loki somehow _knew_ what he had done, though there was no possibility he actually did. Nor was it a crime, hell, who didn't have fantasies about the weirdest people at times? It was completely ridiculous. Tony blamed his conscience. That damn thing really wanted to torture him. But why, whyyyyy! He had been nice! He had been a good boy! He was helping Loki to a better life! His conscience was a troll, that must be it.

“Tony!”

“Here!” The engineer jumped at the loud voice, calling his name. Judging by the tone it had not called for the first time.

“Oh, uh, sorry, what were you saying?”

“Are you quite all right? You seem absent-minded.” He got a worried look from the deity sitting by his side, again saw the searching green eyes examine his face.

“Nah, I'm fine, really. Where were we?”

Loki's eyes lingered a while longer on his face – he knew, he somehow knew! - before returning to the notes before him.

“I was just extrapolating the energy levels we would need to open a small portal for two seconds.”

He showed Tony the numbers and the engineer nodded slowly, forcefully silencing his mind that was calling him all kinds of perverse names. The numbers looked okay, he was sure to be able to produce enough energy for the task. After all the new reactor he would build could be bigger than the one in his chest.

“Looks good to me. I first need some Iridium for explicit numbers though. I haven't requested anything too kinky yet, any idea how to best propose?” He was mentally cringing at his choice of words, and he was sure Loki noticed that, too. The deity was giving him weird looks again. Uh-oh.

“If by “kinky” you mean special materials, then I suggest you simply ask for it politely. Are you feeling unwell?” 

The engineer huffed out a laugh and patted Loki's shoulder. “No, really, I'm fine, I just... ya know... I'm thinking about my choice of words (wasn't even a lie) and such, you know, how to ask them and all that... Cute that you worry about me, Princess, but we better keep going.” Less smoothly than he had hoped, but it would have to do.

 

A knock from the door, again, this time the intruder just opened it. Loki was on the floor quickly, wiping around with his hands, looking grumpy.

“Oh hai again!”, Tony greeted cheerfully, while elegantly and absolutely inconspicuously hiding the data of their project behind walls of schematics.

“Great that you're here again, I have a request!”

The hooded creature surveyed the room, and nodded. “What a pleasant coincidence. Lord Thanos has bespoken that he wants to speak to you directly over dinner. You may also bring your _pet_.” It didn't sound like a request at all. Tony admired Loki's control, the god didn't even flinch at the insult. Not even as the creature stepped closer and handed Tony a collar attached to a chain did he move a muscle.

“Ah, okay, so I may... bring forth my needs there?” He was fiddling with the collar, fighting down the urge to throw it at the alien's head.

“Yes. I will personally bring you to him, once you are ready. I will wait outside the door.” The creature bowed and left with swinging robes.

Once the door shut, he turned to Loki on the floor who was in turn looking up at him. He lowered his voice, not to alert Hoodie outside should he be eavesdropping.

“What is that supposed to mean now?”

The god shifted on his knees, biting his lower lip in contemplation. “If I must make an educated guess I would say they are confused by the plates you manufactured. He probably wants to ask you in detail about your work. You need not worry, as long as your answers are logical, he will let you continue.”

“What about bringing you with me?” What Loki said made sense, but why did he want do see the other man?

“He wants to see me suffer. I will try to put on a convincing act of a reluctantly submissive slave. Know that you should in no way show kindness to me while you dine. If he lets me, I will kneel beside you and eat scraps you as my most gracious master are willing to feed me. I will try my best to find subtext in his words to decipher his plans.”

 

Tony looked at the god and nodded his understanding. But still there was one thing on his mind he had to address before they went to the quite possibly worst meeting in the history of man.

“You... I know you are acting according to your role, but... you see, I always thought of you as a proud creature, Lolo, you know with all the defiance you showed on Earth and such... how come you are kneeling so willingly now? To me, nonetheless. It makes me a little uneasy, to be honest.”

Loki gave a small smile at the frown that was decorating the engineer's features. “Let us say I came to know the alternative. Being your slave is beneficial to our cause. As you said, I am playing a role, it is not like you force me into this position. I... I used to like playing roles as a child, pretending to be somebody else.”

Tony nodded slowly and didn't comment on that.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

They both decided that procrastinating would not improve their situation. Tony dressed in the finest tunic they had equipped him with, briefly being disgusted by his willingness to play their perverse game. He wondered what he should do with Loki, but the god assumed it would be best if he stayed in his worn-out tunic and nothing else.

The cloth hung from his lean frame like a rag; paired with the collar around his neck it was a fitting image for a slave.

Tony reluctantly took the chain in hand, fiddling with it. “Shall I treat it like a leash?”

“Yes, or better, you attach it to your belt. Remember, do not show kindness.”

The engineer admired the god's patience with his treatment, but he guessed a week of torture would do that to you. When the chain was secured at the side of his belt he took a deep breath and patted Loki's lower back, though if to reassure the god or himself he didn't know.

“Okay, showtime.”

 

They stepped outside, where Hoodie was waiting for them. It gestured his approval to Tony when it saw the treatment of the slave, then led them in silence through a labyrinth of corridors. Tony guessed his room was somewhere in the basement, now they were climbing flies of stairs, up and further up.

The room they discovered at the top of the last staircase opened willingly to them. He strutted through the big doors doing his best to hide the heartbeat that throbbed nervously through his body. Obsidian tiles adorned the floor, making it feel like he was treading over an abyss; the room, no, hall they entered was incredibly high, he couldn't make out a ceiling, just darkness. Phantom lights danced around the pillars around the walls, separating tall windows from one another. Behind the glass he could see foreign galaxies twist about the dark sky, strange planets and alien structures decorated the planet they were on.

The complex he called his home at the moment had to be some kind of citadel, what with it towering over the adjacent civilisation. As if he was hypnotized he wandered towards one of the large windows, raking his eyes over a pitch black city drenched in eerie blue lights. He could make out highways and watchtowers, an architecture that looked both organic and metropolitan.

It took Tony some time to be able to branch off of the breathtaking view and turn around to face the room again. In the middle of the hall he saw a long, sleek table filled with exotic vases and flasks, a huge crystalline cornucopia was enthroned on its middle. The tableware was filled to the brim with all kinds of foods and drink. He hadn't been hungry before, but now he felt his mouth water.

 

His host, sitting at the far end of the table, was totally channelling Dracula right now, complete with a sweeping, generous gesture indicating the second seat opposite of him and shady grin. Tony inclined his head in mock sympathy and walked towards his place, luckily there was at least twenty feet of table between him and Thanos.

As he sat down, he observed from the edge of his vision, how Loki knelt down beside him, hands folded neatly in his lap, gaze to the floor.

“Mr. Stark, how are you this fine afternoon?”, the Lord's voice droned over the table and vibrated in his bones. He had almost forgotten, how intimidating the Titan's presence was. He busied his hands by fiddling with the edge of the tablecloth.

“Ah, yes, thank you. I can't complain. You are very generous.”

His answer seemed to please his host, as he was leaning back, toying with his fingers and smiled at Tony.

“So the environment suffices for your needs? Are you working comfortably?”

“As I said, I can't complain. I'm getting used to the machines and I even started working on some designs. You must know, I am no expert in the type of weapon manufacturing that you require of me.”

A bold lie, his heart was pounding rapidly in his chest. He waited for a reaction. A smile, an angry scowl, a knife thrown in his direction; but his opponent didn't betray an emotion. Tony felt his eyeballs prickling, he was so afraid.

Then the alien's lips split into a smile again.

“Why are you so nervous, Mr. Stark. Have I not been kind to you?”

“Very kind, my Lord, don't be mistaken. I uh.. I merely apprehend your displeasure at the uh... amount of time I need.” Did he reveal too much? He didn't know, it was hard not to be riled up by the mere presence of the creature. Loki, sensing his discomfort took hold of his thigh and stroked it calmingly. Concentrate Tony, you know he needs you. Alive.

 

At his display of weakness the alien smiled again.

“Aah... do not concern yourself with that. You have time. There... is an aim in our future, but as of now, it does not concern you. I am merely curious as to what you have accomplished until now. My servants tell me that you have built a very interesting assortment of shells, though sadly they lack the knowledge to identify their use. But, where are my manners, let us touch glasses and dine, it will make the conversation that much more pleasant.”

Chitauri in clothes Tony hadn't seen yet melted out of the shadows, trays in their hands. Thanos was served first, the servant placed a fine glass in front of him and filled it with dark green liquid. Then another servant stood beside Tony and did the same. He also placed a simple looking cup with a clear fluid next to his glass.

The Titan curled his huge fingers around the delicate glass with the green liquid and raised it for a toast to Tony.

The engineer did the same, but stopped and sceptically looked at the liquid. Up until now they had fed him well, but he didn't know what this was supposed to be.

Sensing his unease, Thanos chuckled darkly. “It is what you would call wine on Earth. Though I doubt that the fruit required to make it grows on your planet. Now drink, Mr. Stark. To good health!”

“To good health!”, Tony repeated and bravely took a sip of his so called wine.

It was delicious.

It almost immediately warmed his insides, but not in an unpleasant way. It tasted sweet and fresh, lightening his mood. _Well, if I die from this at least I'll die a happy man._

 

Against his wish to empty the whole glass, he set it down and complimented it. The Titan agreed with him immediately. When he set it down he again noticed the brazen cup with the clear liquid.

“What is this?”

“That is for your slave, if you deem his behaviour appropriate and want to reward him.”

Smiling agreeably, Tony instead chose to ignore the cup and Loki for now. No kindness, not even a bit. He suspected that Thanos would analyse his every move and he was determined to not show any weakness.

“Feel free to eat anything that inspires your taste, Mr. Stark. I personally made sure that there is nothing poisonous for the human body on the table.”

Tony thanked him politely and let his gaze wander over the diverse dishes before him. It all looked quite good to him, but at first he settled for a piece of meat that was as black as tar and a few fruits he already knew from his meals.

He hesitantly took a bite, all the time feeling Thanos' gaze on him, and suppressed a groan as the taste unfolded in his mouth. _God_ , it tasted good.

“Is it to your satisfaction?”, came the droning voice from the other side of the table again.

“Yes, very”, was his short reply, because there honestly wasn't a word grand enough to describe his feelings about the food. His face must have shown that, because his host let out a low chuckle and smiled at him.

“So now that the formalities are over and done with, I will try to satisfy my curiosity regarding your work, if you please.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, well, Thanos is being polite again...;)


	14. Bread and Circuses

“No, do keep eating, Mr. Stark, you have time for the answers. I see you enjoy your meal greatly, what kind of person would I be if took that from you?”

_The kind of person that bullies someone into working for you and betraying your own home planet, while torturing the crap out of an alien god who supposedly had just before been bullied into leading an army against said home planet_ , he didn't say, but the thought of doing so was very satisfying. He supposed Loki had been bullied, at least. Maybe they should talk about that later.

 

He filed the thought away and grinned at his host, shoving another fork full of black meat into his mouth. Tony had never thought of himself as a glutton, but at the moment he felt dangerously close to becoming one.

After enjoying a few pieces of meat, he reached for the green wine again, noticing how the glass was already half empty. As he put it back down the brass cup came to his attention. Might as well get it over with. “No kindness” Loki's voice in his head reminded him, so he first looked down beside himself with an aloof impression. He reached down his hand, slid it around the back of Loki's neck and curled his fingers under his jaw, then he lifted it, until Loki was forced to look to the ceiling, though Loki's eyes were fixed on Tony.

“Behave yourself, open your mouth”, Tony commanded, mentally adding “sorry”. But they were playing a role, it would work out in the end. A tiny part of him, that Tony now tried do ignore, had the gall to find the situation a little sexy.

He took the cup and brought it to the god's open and slack lips, tilting it and feeling his throat bob with each swallow. He allowed Loki four swallows, then took the cup away again, patting the god's cheek patronizingly and turned his attention back to Thanos. He had been watched intently.

“Is he behaving?”, asked the Titan, the question sounded subsidiary, however Tony saw real interest in the alien's face.

Tony grinned back, faking a mean sparkle in his eyes. “Well, when he's not he feels the consequences. But he's a fast learner. You could practically eat from my floor since I have him!”

That got a laugh from the alien and Tony joined in, trying to neither retch, nor sounding too mincing. He patted Loki's head again, then helped himself to more meat. One small piece he gave Loki who ate it obediently, though grimly, out of his hand.

“Very good. Maybe he will finally learn his place.”

“I'm sure he will.”

Tony desperately wanted to change the subject, this was grating on his nerves. He also dreaded the first question regarding his research and work. He hoped he would be able to answer without raising suspicion. First step in that direction would be to drink less wine. There surely were few situations he could think of that were worse for drinking himself into a stupor.

 

A quarter-hour of smalltalk later, it finally began. Tony felt almost relieved, because the tiring anticipation dissipated.

“Mr. Stark, these cases we already spoke of, what can you tell me about them?”, directly to the point. He could work with that.

“Mh, your servants saw that alright, they encase the explosives in the missile. I had to experiment a bit until I found a form I was pleased with, may have to do some testing still. They should be as aerodynamic as possible, to fly even great distances. Is there maybe a machine here, that can generate wind? It would be the ideal testing ground for the shells.”

Yeah, that was good. Hold interest and counter question, don't give away too specific information.

The Titan contemplated the question by the looks of it. “I think that could be arranged. Our military facilities have a wind channel for such purposes.”

“Ah, yes, wind channels, I wasn't sure if you would be familiar with the term. That was exactly what I meant. People on earth use them to test the funniest things!”

Perhaps he would be able to stall a little more. He had meanwhile tasted one of the desserts, which was, how could it be any different, tasty as hell. What did these fuckers do to the food to make it this good?

“My compliments to the kitchen by the way. The food is terrific.”

“Duly noted. But let us not digress, it has come to my ears that you require some special materials. I think there is nothing in the universe I could not get for you, our very own equipment storage is outrageously well sorted.”

_Of course it is, fucking space pirates_. Tony smiled enthusiastically.

“Yes, I need a substance that is called “Iridium” on Earth, it is quite rare, but a great energy conductor. I will need only a small amount at first, testing the explosive stuff under secure conditions and all that, you see. Other than that I require greater amounts of thick steel, I will use it to render the atomic substance that is needed for the missiles. Also magnets and quite frankly unusual amounts of energy. Say, have you ever heard of a particle accelerator?”

“No, what is this accelerator you speak of?”

Tony did his best to explain the workings and purposes of a collider, giving Loki some drink out of the cup again while he was at it. What he said even made sense! He had rendered the element for his current arc reactor with a mini collider in his living room; usually those things emitted measurable amounts of radiation. A good lie was always one that held truth. As it turned out this was an invaluable wisdom in his situation. Thanos was intrigued by the description, broached the subject again from several angles.

 

In the middle of explaining how the Large Hadron Collider CERN in Switzerland was an essential tool for human science, he fed Loki a piece of meat again. He didn't pay attention, being totally in his element in talking about sciencey stuff, when he felt Loki's mouth sucking at his fingers a little. Whoops, he might have had a bad grip on the meat, next time he would feed the god when he wasn't talking.

“I know you are not at that point yet, but I am interested in the function of the missile you construct. How is it able to be as devastatingly powerful? According to our calculations the missile was hardly as tall as a human”, Thanos inquired, pouring himself his fifth glass of wine. The juices of some fruits were running down his wrinkly purple chin, giving him an animalistic appearance.

Tony nodded, he had just drunk the rest of his second glass of wine. When he set it up he reached for the cup instead, almost carelessly pouring it over Loki's face. He had to admit he was tipsy from the wine.

“Well, when the inner cell of the missile explodes, its fluids mix with those in the chambers around the middle. This creates a – uh, a chain reaction, it just keeps exploding.” He was about to make his best explosion sounds complete with escalating gestures when he felt a hand curl around his shin, looking down he saw that Loki had slumped a little and was fingering Tony's trousers. He also had turned his face towards the floor, hiding behind a curtain of black hair. Tony chose to ignore it.

“Is there something wrong?”, his host said, a teasing grin playing on his lips.

“Nah, everything is fine, really.” It should have been the first sign that something was wrong, but it didn't register in his alcohol-hazy mind.

 

Thanos asked a few more things, but trivial in comparison: When would he estimate will he be finished, will he need more equipment for his tests, would he be able to initiate mass production, yadda, yadda. Tony defied the assault of questions with masterful skill, learned in long years of boring board meetings: by giving satisfying, but vague and tentative answers.

He was about to feed Loki another peace of meat, when he felt the god's cheek press against his thigh. Tony looked down, still immersed in his role as slave owner, and was about to chastise Loki, when he suddenly stopped.

Loki was making a low whining noise with his throat and looked up to him with glassy, way too glassy eyes. His pupils were dilated so widely that there was only a tiny ring of green left around the black. His face was flushed pink and his stroking of Tony's shin got noticeably more insistent, now that he had his master's attention.

“Is everything all right, Mr. Stark?” This time it was hard to miss Thanos' smile, wide and wolfish.

Tony had problems staying in his role, and pretending to be mildly amused when in reality he felt white hot rage tunnel his vision. Also he felt confusion creep up on him. 

“He... appears to be uncharacteristically clingy. May I ask, what was in the cup?” _Damnit Tony, you should have asked this in the beginning! Damn it, damn it!_

The wolfish grin widened when Thanos leant back, glass of wine in hand. “You may. It is simple water, permeated with a strong drug we use as aphrodisiac agent. One of my officers told me that he was reluctant to service you. Consider it a gift for your labours so far.”

His patience – and tolerance - with fancy space drugs wore fairly thin. If this was their answer to everything he found it a good idea to start worrying about what they could spike his food with...

The engineer let his hand rest on his thigh, but immediately pulled it back, once Loki rubbed his face on it. Tony forced a smile on his face and feigned gratitude. “What a wonderful idea. Many thanks, my Lord.”

“You are welcome. My curiosity is sated for this fine evening, you may return to your chambers now. I hope we can repeat this meeting when you have made progress. It was a delight, Mr. Stark.”

 

Thanos raised his cup again, inclined his head towards Tony then shifted his attention to the space outside the windows. Tony was dismissed. He stood up, taking his time, though all his instincts told him to flee the room. He impatiently tugged at Loki's chain and made him stand up. The god sported an erection that visibly poked at his tunic.

They left the room with all the dignity Tony could muster, then marched quickly to their room. Loki trotted behind him, obviously not in complete control of his body. The graceful Asgardian stumbled and swayed behind him, the walk through the last corridor Tony even had to support him by the small of his back, because he feared the god might just kneel over any moment. The fact that Loki had yet to get accustomed to his new limp did nothing to improve the situation.

 

Barely through the door, Tony freed Loki from the collar and nudged him further into the room. He closed the door and quietly leant his forehead against the cool metal for a while. Tony still felt the buzz of alcohol in his system, but tried to sober up quickly.

“Okay, maybe you should take a little trip to the bathroom and take care of- holy shit.” Tony turned around and looked at the bed, where Loki had already shed his tunic and was slowly humping the mattress, eyeing him hungrily.

“Come here please...”, whispered the god huskily, even lifting his ass up a little. 

“Oh no. Oh, no, no, no, Lolo, you're not in your right mind!” He pressed against the wall behind him, not sure what to do. He would definitely not sleep with Loki while the other wasn't of sound mind. Tony was a jerk, but not that much of a jerk.

Loki pouted. _Pouted_. He wriggled his hips a little, groaning softly at the friction his movement created.

“Nah, 's okay. Please, Tony.” Loki slurred huskily. Not a good sound to Tony's willpower.

The engineer felt sweat pool around his neck. He couldn't, he just couldn't do this. This was wrong. Loki's condition was drug induced and non-consensual.

The god writhed on the sheets and turned on his back, giving Tony a good look at his deep-red swollen prick. One of the god's hands wandered to his erection and gave it a few lazy strokes, that made himself moan.

“Please, Tony, lay with me.”

Holy effin crap. There was a _god_ writhing on his bed, begging him to fuck him. He felt his own trousers tighten uncomfortably. After this ordeal nobody should ever call Tony a sex-hungry bastard again. 

“No, Loki, I can't. Please, do as you see fit, I will.. I will just...” Tony stormed into the bathroom and locked the door behind himself. Then he filled the sink with ice cold water to douse his throbbing cock in it. He hissed at the coldness and felt his cock shrink, his balls felt as if they were trying to crawl up into his body and hide. Tony eyed them miserably. 

“I'm sorry hun, we all ave to take one for the team sometimes.”

 

After comforting his cock over the rough treatment, he leant on the bathroom door and sunk down to the floor. Normally he would never have passed on the opportunity to screw a god, but this was something different. He wondered if he would have to spend the night in the bathroom, who knew how long it would take Loki's metabolism to process the drug.

He tried to think of their project, the progress, the things he had told the Titan, though that became progressively harder as he was able to hear mewls and whimpers through the door, slowly increasing in volume.

Tony carded fingers through his hair and had no choice but to listen. The sounds the deity was making were arousing as hell, loud moans of unabashed pleasure, rising in frequency, little cut off cries as he neared climax and eventually a long, drawn out “Tooooonyyyyy”. 

The engineer gulped, he felt heat rising in his groin again. Nope, he would not masturbate now to the sound of... well, to the sound of Loki masturbating to him apparently. On his sliding scale of weird sexual encounters this surely took the cake.

 

He listened to what he thought of as at least two more climaxes, before his own cock had finally shrugged of the effects of the cold-water-treatment. It stood red and proud again from his crotch. Sighing he eavesdropped at the door and found, that Loki's “suffering” still hadn't stopped. From outside the door he heard throaty gasps now in quick succession, sometimes he also heard his name. He decided he liked how Loki moaned his name. 

Tony sighed. “So here we go again. This time with live ticker.” He licked his palm then began to rub slow circles over his shaft, while his other had reached further down into his trousers and grabbed his balls.

He closed his eyes and concentrated on the sounds coming from behind the door. He had a vivid image of the god in his mind, freshly taken just mere minutes ago. Just like moments ago the god was writhing on the bed, begging to be fucked, but in his mind he had no qualms about joining him. 

His hand sped up its rhythm while fantasy-Tony explored the god's body with his mouth. His brain was busy with translating the feel of Loki's body from hand to mouth, and it worked splendidly. He just hoped he would finish before he got to the kissing again, that would be kinda embarrassing. 

Slowly the sounds from outside were subsiding, leaving more room for Tony's fantasies. He was close, he could feel it by the tightening in his balls, it would take just a little bit more to tumble him over the edge.

His fantasy-self was meanwhile driving himself into the tight heat between Loki's thighs, his mouth sucked pretty red bruises on the skin of his neck, marking him as his.

Tony came with a grunt, stroking himself through his orgasm, mouth open wide and eyes pressed shut. His hand slowed down when he came off of his high and he took some time to wipe himself off, before tucking himself into his trousers again.

Since there were no more sounds coming from outside, he opened the door and swaggered into the room, pretending nothing had happened. His intent was shattered though, when his gaze fell on the bed.

 

Loki was laying on his side, come drying on his flat torso (gosh, there were even some white droplets on his chin!), red face half pressed onto the pillows and three spit slick fingers up his ass, working himself open. He was not making any sounds except for soft pants that Tony had failed to hear in the bathroom. 

“Uh, sorry, sorry, I'll just.. yeah, uhm...”

Tony was already walking backwards into the bathroom again hiding his face in his hands, when Loki softly called for him.

“N-no, wait Tony, I'm uh-better. I mean.. ahh... my head...ah... it feels clearer.”

Tony peeked through his fingers and froze on the spot. Good thing he was well into his 40s, otherwise his cock might just have stood back on attention right then. 

“Yah, I see that. Really, it's no problem, take your time-”

“Do not... nngh, be ridiculous. I-aaaaah, as I... recall we already... ngh, had sex.”

Oh, the guts that guy had. Tony couldn't help but admire the god's coherence, even with three fingers in his ass he was able to converse. The engineer let his hands hang down by his sides and considered for a moment if he should tell Loki that they also had amazing fantasy-sex in his head. No, better spare the juicy details for later. Or never. Never was a good idea.

He still felt light headedness from the wine earlier, he couldn't trust his body or tonuge yet. The image before him was daring enough. 

“I know. Just then we kinda didn't know who the other was and you weren't drugged into heat.” 

Loki actually smirked at that, peeking at Tony with one eye. “I am... ouh... not a _dog_ that... ah... goes into heat.” 

“What to call it then?” Tony licked his lips and stepped closer to the bed. At least Loki really seemed to be thinking straight again, he only forgot his shame somewhere on the way from the dining hall to the room. Just like Tony apparently.“ Looks pretty hot to me.” 

_Bad Tony, fooey! Stop hitting on Loki!_ Against his better judgement, he sat down on the bed, as far away from the god, as he could. He felt like he was mesmerized by the sight before him. He also tried to only watch the other's face, though wasn't all that successful with his brain still being in after-orgasm haze.

He carefully reached out a hand and stroked a drop of come from Loki's chin then balancing it on his finger.

Loki was now shyly hiding his face further in the pillow, closing his eyes and bucking his hips frantically. Tony could tell he was close, maybe he even got off from being watched.

 

He felt stupid just sitting there, watching the other pleasure himself, so he licked the sperm off his finger, only to reach his hand out to the other again, taking him by the arm and turning him on his back, trapping his arm under him.

Loki's whole body was flushed pink, only his cock stood out in garish deep red. He made feeble attempts to turn away again, but really Tony noticed it to be a facade. The other was enjoying this too much for his liking. His free hand fisted in the sheets. 

“Don't hide, Lolo. Let me see you.” Tony licked his lips at the sight, he got the god writhing again. Loki was making little chocked noises, obviously stifling louder moans in his throat.

“I bet you can come from your fingers alone, can't you... Come on, show me.” 

What was he even thinking, dirty talking to the other like that? But Loki's hips bucked again, his mouth opened to a pretty little “o” and then he was coming all over his torso. Tony smiled and stroked his cheek. “That's it. So pretty.”

Loki was making a noise that sounded close to a sob, but his eyes were dry. He blinked up at Tony, shame burning his cheeks bright red, and dislodged his fingers from his entrance. He looked very tired and burned out.

“Feel better?”, he inquired, gulping audibly at his boldness. Loki only nodded quickly, he rearranged himself on the sheets and seemed to be sated for the moment.

 

The engineer stood up, smiling gently and went to the bathroom again, just to return a short while later with a wet cloth. 

“Stay in bed, you look exhausted. I'll clean you up.”

Loki didn't say anything, just watched him as he wiped the warm cloth over his body. When he was finished, the god was sound asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is why you should not take sweets from evil alien overlords, Tony...
> 
> In case any of you wonder where that stuff with building a particle accelerator to make an element comes from; it was exactly the way Iron Man 2 tackled it. Pretty far fetched, but not my fault here :)


	15. Yggdrasil

The morning had Tony startle awake by a brief but strong “what the fuck was I thinking”-impulse. Within seconds he was wide awake, looking at the ceiling, terrified of his memories. Almost comically slowly he turned to face the god lying next to him, relieved when he found him asleep, looking peaceful.

 This was going to be one hell of a talk they had to do. He yawned heartily and stretched his limbs one after another, until he heard rustling at his side and looked into the face of a very sleepy and very content Loki.

Seriously the god seemed totally relaxed, not as uptight and distant as he normally was.

 “Morning, Sunshine.”

 Loki smiled a little and shuffled closer to him. “Good morrow.”

 Tony took a deep breath.

 “Look, Lolo, I am so, _so_ sorry.”

 The god's relaxed face scrunched up in a frown, looking really cute while still being so sleepy. _No Tony, not again!_

 “Whatever for?”

 The engineer rubbed a palm over his face, trying to steel himself for what was coming.

 “Well that I kinda... you know.. was so bold and be all touchy-talky when you were... uh... y'know needing privacy.” He turned his head in shame and just then spotted another morning glory. Great, now even his body betrayed him. And by the looks of it, Loki had seen it, too. The shame.

 The god inched even closer, sliding a hand under the sheets that covered Tony and gently stroked his side. It was his priority gesture to calm him down, and it worked every time. For the second time in not too many days Tony felt like a trained dog. Though the touch didn't feel bad, like, at all.

 “Do not be sorry, Tony. You did not take advantage of me last night. I have noticed how hard it was for you. I...”, he coyly licked his lip, before looking into his eyes again. “I enjoyed your words. Greatly.”

 Tony actually blinked. This was going better than he had expected. He felt a smile tugging at his lips and turned to face the other directly, mimicking Loki's movements on the other's body.

“Yeah, I kinda saw that. But really, I'm sorry, you were... they drugged you. I should've asked what was in the cup, but I didn't and then you were totally horny and I didn't want to exploit that. I even felt bad, that I... well, I actually... in the bathroom... uh.”

 “I know.”

 “You know what?”

 “You were making noises in the bathroom. You called my name.” There Loki's features took on that impish grin Tony had only seen once before, while his own face burned red with shame. So he had called his name. Great, really great, not only was Tony's brain-to-mouth filter often absent during everyday life, it seemed to completely betray him when he was having orgasms.

 Loki saw his hesitance, and grinned only wilder. “Was I good?”

 “Oh you dirty little shit!”

 They both laughed at that. It felt really good to laugh. Tony noted that Loki looked really, really good, when he laughed.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Tony rubbed off in the bathroom again, quickly making space for Loki, who desired a throughout shower and an opportunity to wash his tunic after yesterdays events. He still heard the water rush, when the door to his workroom was opened revealing several Chitauri carrying small crates and packages that looked heavy.

They barged into the room and placed them all neatly next to another, labelled and sorted.

 The accompanying officer bowed to him and handed him a small electrical board which sported a list of materials the crates contained. They already had gotten their hands on the necessary Iridium and delivered it to him, it was even double the amount he had ordered. Tony got the impression that he had done well in the meeting.

Tony strolled around the crates and boxes, feeling giddy and looking forward to just exploit all the stuff they've equipped him with.

When the Chitauri left, only the officer remained standing in the door, watching Tony for a moment. It gestured towards the bathroom door.

“You let your slave use your shower?”

 Tony barked out a laugh while he was walking over to some crates and winked at the officer.

“Yeah, I like my slaves clean and odour-free. Uh... if you get the chance, thank our Lord for his gift. It was very appreciated.”

He smiled at the officer and turned his attention completely on the crates before him, wanting the alien to leave the room. He got stuff, he had science to do!

 

Once he was alone, Tony began cracking open the crates and checking the material. There was way more stuff than he would probably need, he already planned on taking the rest with him anyway. He rummaged around and sorted his new materials, laid out steel plates and let the welding machine power up. Loki would have to help him bend the strong steel into the right shape, he needed a round, tube-like shape as accurate as possible.

After a while his little god of mischief left the bathroom, stark naked, but looking content. Tony got the impression his roommate wanted to distract him. Raising an eyebrow, he gestured towards the god's crotch. He wondered if his complete lack of scruples was a remainder of their time as cell mates or if it had been triggered by yesterdays events.

 “Casual Friday today? Not gonna lie, that's a little distracting. Why are you naked- not that I don't support freedom of personality.”

 “Ah. I washed my tunic and now it needs to dry. I do not desire wearing wet clothes.”, Loki answered casually, though fiddling with his numb fingers a little. He joined Tony next to the crates, looking around the room. “What do you have here?” Loki gestured towards the crates before him, trying to read the labels.

 

Tony explained the machinery he wanted to build to him, careful to remember all details. They quickly made a plan how and when to assemble what, the welding machine could only be operated by one of them while the other had to hold the steel plate. That would be Loki's job, seeing as he was stronger than Tony and could hold them still enough for a prolonged time.

 They would start by crafting the mini particle accelerator to create the element for the reactor, Tony had already founded a case for it. It was conveniently shaped to be worn as a bulky belt buckle, since it didn't have to fit in a special casing (or chest) he went with the handiest design.

The case was strapped into a vice and ready to be filled, they had to act quickly, once the accelerator was done, they had a limited time frame to steer the material into the case, since the energy the process would require might take down the whole complex they lived in.

 After building the reactor slash Tesseract substitute, Tony would have to find a way to mimic Selvig's machine, but in smaller scale. The doctor had used Iridium as a means to heat the Cube, to be able to breach the Coulomb Barrier, he was positive he could recreate that. SHIELD had taken the machine itself after the thwarted alien attack, but Tony had been able to throw one or two glimpses at it. Also, Selvig was a doctor, or professor of astrophysics, not an engineer, whatever Tony would build, he was convinced it would be more effective.

 The Iridium would have to act as a start-up for the Tesseract substitute, something they could carry with them to create the portal. The plan so far was that they build the portal-device, then Tony would finish his new Iron Man suit. He'd blast his way through the base, destroying as much stuff as possible, while Loki took care of the Chitauri as best as he could. When they were satisfied with the destruction wrought, Tony would launch the portal-device and they concentrated their whole minds on the cosmic magic to bring them to Earth.

All in all it was manageable and should be no problem. The only unsure variable was the Iridium starter, because Tony had no idea what to do with it exactly.

 Tony prepared the welding machine and made some last minute changes to the bender, while Loki walked around and sorted the steel plates. He was glad the god had a decent understanding of engineering, that way he was able to actively help Tony by working autonomous and still being reliable.

 

 In the evening they sat among the sorted chaos they had created thorough the day, tired and content with their work. Tony leant heavily on Loki's shoulder, eyes half closed and smiling. He was aware that he was falling asleep and should probably stand up and go to bed properly, but he felt too lazy to do even that.

Loki was just slumped next to him and lost in his own thoughts. It almost startled Tony when he began to speak softly.

“When you activate the portal device you need to have a precise image of the place you want to go in mind. It should be as accurate as possible. You have to feel yourself there, not only imagine it. You have to will yourself being there, smelling the place, hearing it, tasting its atmosphere. It is best if the portal device is in close proximity to you. The Cosmic Cube is a semi sentient being, when you touch it with your aura, you can communicate with it.”

 Tony pried his eyes open again before turning towards Loki. “We are not using the Cube. Just a similar thing.”

The man's eyes were closed, but he saw a smile tug at the thin lips. “But you engineered it after the likeness of it. It shares the same energy with the Cube.”

Having a hard time wrapping his head around that statement Tony sat up and stretched a little. This conversation was on its way to become interesting. “So you say that an energy structure can be sentient?”

“You might say so, yes. All energy is part of the universe, it is predestined to interact with the rest of it. Your science tells you that energy never vanishes, it just changes form, and that is true.

The strands of Yggdrasil connect the Nine Realms and everything in it. I assume you are aware, that Yggdrasil is not really a tree?” Tony only shrugged, in fact the only thing he knew about that was that it was supposed to be a tree of life thing in the mythology. Loki continued either way: “Yggdrasil is an abstract concept of the primordial energy. Before time there was Chaos. Chaotic vigours were weaved together by an unknown entity we call Audhumla and formed the coherent energy that represents Yggdrasil, which in turn sprouted the beginning of the physical universe. All matter comes from the same place and returns to it, no matter its form. That is why everything is energy and everything can affect and interact with everything.

Why do you think some people feel a connection between themselves and others? Or with beings such as animals or plants? This ability to feel the connecting energy is native to every being born from Yggdrasil, but it is differently pronounced in everyone. Some do not feel it at all while others see it as naturally as the light of day.”

 

It was silent for a while, Tony's brain was working in overdrive to digest the information. It sounded very philosophical to him, but it made sense none the less. “Is that the difference between a scientist and a magician?”

Loki smiled at him and shook his head. “No, that is only the prerequisite. Everyone can be a magician, though only few have the natural gift of perceiving the energies around them. And even if you have the talent for it, it needs a lot of work to be able to manipulate it to your will. A strong magician is simply one that trained his perception long enough. What we are doing here is manually producing the energy needed for the portal, because I can not access my natural abilities. But I still have the perception of energy to steer it. I suppose you could learn that in time. If you believed in it.”

 It was a bewildering thought, but also one that seemed far, far away from him. Tony frowned deeply. Now that he had Loki talking he wanted the whole story. “Then what is the difference between a scientist and a magician?”

 “The true difference is in the mind. Your willingness to accept the world around you. It is not too different; You as a scientist learn and seek knowledge and accept the boundaries nature sets you, then use them for your cause. I on the other hand try to see a concept, an abstraction if you so will, and bend it to my will as far as my might and mind allow. Or... bent, as it is.” Loki looked a little lost, he was playing with his fingers again.

 Tony watched him fumble around for a while. “You miss your magic?”

“Terribly”, was the brutally honest and quite sad answer. “My body is not what it once was. I see and feel how it could be, but it just is not. But I can do nothing about that, I guess I will have to live with it. You and millions of others live with that every day.”

“It's not so bad, you'll see.” Tony nodded slowly and raised his hand to stroke through the black locks before him. “Why are you telling me that now?”

 Leaning into his touch and closing his eyes again, the other sighed silently. “You have to know eventually. So now is as good time as any other.” Tony felt like Loki wasn't telling the whole truth. But he didn't need to, he already had an idea what triggered the willingness to talk about it now. The whole day Loki had seemed open towards him, kind and casual. The thought made him smile a little. Trust does not come easy to some people after all.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

It took them three whole weeks of hard work to bring all steel plates into the right shape. A loose test assembly of all parts on the floor proved to be usable. Tony felt good, the hard work was calming his nerves and the visible progress a nice reward.

He felt good again. He was aware that he was a prisoner and blackmailed into building weapons again, but the defiance felt good. And he wasn't alone. He had a friend by his side, strong and clever, that helped him and was there when he needed him. Luckily Loki felt no pain when he was walking anymore, his limp was visible and constant and the numbness had yet to leave the last two fingers of his right hand, but he assured Tony he was fine.

 What had happened after the dinner hadn't made their relationship worse as Tony had feared, it had quite the opposite effect. In the nights they were already lounging atop each other's bodies again, casually cuddling and conversing more freely than before. It was like his non-exploitation of the other's drug induced state had breached a barrier of mistrust that Loki had always harboured towards other beings.

He was happy that there were no hard feelings between them, they were both adults after all, a little sexual tension didn't make them feel ashamed for too long.

They had subconsciously begun to seek comfort in each other again, this time without the mystery of not knowing who their partner was. It was an honest and alleviating feeling.

He himself felt much more grounded around the other, sure of himself and almost happy.

 

 By the end of the third week they had assembled the accelerator ring of their machine and set up the energy cables they would need. The whole workshop looked like a cave full of snakes slithering on the floor. Both of them were breathing heavily and sweating profusely when some Chitauri came to take a look at the machine. They were engineers, that much Tony knew judging by their clothes. They carefully stepped around the room, circling the collider and taking notes. Though not talking to either himself or Loki they were being confused but also respectful in their assessment. Hoodie, who was a constant visitor, remarked that it would report the process to Thanos himself.

It recently lingered in their room sometimes, watching Loki and small talking with Tony all the while. It wasn't interested in the machine but Tony had the feeling that there was something more to its casual talk and examination. Sometimes he wished to be able to see its eyes, maybe they would reveal something.

 It was also around that time, that they had to get creative. Up until now, he had been able to spin blatant lies about what they were doing, because it all made sense: build a particle accelerator, render the atomic element; next step: fill the atomic element into the missile case.

Problem here was, that there would be no atomic element and they also wouldn't fill the cases any time soon. New lies had to be spun around the project. Through the haze of his drug induced lust Loki had paid attention to Thanos' words. He was concerned about the long term plan the alien had mentioned, but up until now, there hadn't been any more pressure put on them than before. Figuring out what exactly Thanos planned (aside from taking over the universe apparently) was a thing of impossibility as they quickly had noticed.

That evening they were conversing about what information they would pass to Thanos and what they would do afterwards.

 “You need to stall more. Maybe assemble some useless but good looking missiles, before really rendering the reactor. I could mix some fluids that glow blue, so we can hide the reactor in plain sight later. Maybe I can found a case that looks similar to yours”, was Loki's suggestion when Tony had laid out his planned schedule.

 “Hmm... yes, sounds good. I will start building the electromagnets tomorrow, that will probably take some time, too”, Tony contemplated, standing next to his companion, casually curling his arm around the small of Loki's back.

 “Okay then, let's do this. The big question now is, if it's leak-proof. I'll just test that now, then we call it a day, how does that sound?”

 “What if it is not leak-proof?”

Yeah, that would be a problem. Two weeks of work for naught, to be precise.

 “You hurt my pride, Lolo...” Tony showed his best mock-pout, then filled a bucket with water and walked over to the opening of the metal tube. “It will be. It has to be.” The construction was propped up to stand two feet above ground and had the form of a doughnut if a doughnut had a comparatively thin outer ring, was made of sleek steel and filled a whole room.

 Tony swallowed the lump that had taken residence somewhere in his throat. Theoretically they had enough time to build another one, but anyway he had a feeling in his gut that this needed to work out now. He wanted to get away from here, badly. In fact, each day the silent whisper in the back of his mind that urged him on became a little louder. Their nerves were on edge enough, no need to throw a fit.

“Lolo, gimme a fanfare!”

 He laughed at the face the god made at his comment, then carefully filled the water into the tube. When the bucket was empty, he set it aside and slowly walked over to Loki again, all the while observing the ring to see if there was water dropping down somewhere. It wasn't.

 Yes!” Tony pumped his fist in the air and did a little happy-dance, before turning to face Loki, taking a solid hold of his face and kissing him full on the lips.

After a moment of shock, Loki calmed down and patted Tony's back.

They parted quickly and breathlessly looked at each other, especially Tony searched the god's face for any trace of disgust or rejection.

 “I'd say I'm sorry, but I'm not.”

 The god shook his head slowly and smiled down at him, his hands wandered to cup Tony's shoulders and hold him a little closer than what was considered polite talking distance. The engineer grinned widely, skin crinkling around his eyes when he elevated himself onto his tiptoes and kissed the other again, this time a lot less innocently. Loki slowly kissed back, worming his arms around the smaller man's waist.

 “You're fucking tall, y'know that?”, Tony mumbled against the god's lips, heavily breathing through his nose and stretching his body uncomfortably to reach his face. The deity smiled against his lips and bowed down, sneaking his hands over Tony's ass between his cheeks and lifting him up like he weighted nothing. They were eye to eye now, both smiling languidly.

 “Better?”, Loki inquired, eyes at half mast and pressing his forehead against Tony's own.

 “Verily”, the engineer replied immediately while wrapping his legs around the other's waist and, sneaking his arms all around the other's head, hands in his hair, arms securely around his neck. His statement made them laugh heartily again, chuckling against each others' lips and soon kissing again.

 Loki tasted as good as Tony had hoped he would. He was also a really good kisser. And holy shit was it sexy that he could lift him up and manhandle him however he wanted, yet was totally sweet about it and nibbled almost coyly at Tony's lips.

The engineer repositioned his hands back to the other's cheeks and held his face, for a moment just looking at him. Then he leant in and licked along Loki's bottom lip, nudging his lips apart with his tongue, begging for entrance. He also rubbed his nose against the other's which made Loki smile and readily open his mouth for him.

 Tony was excited to thoroughly explore his companion's mouth, an area he had not yet had the opportunity and time to map and caress. The other's tongue welcomed him, obviously intent on doing the same thing. Exploring the last secrets of the other's body, they stood in the middle of the workshop, immersed in each other.

 When they finally parted, both breathing heavily, Tony gestured towards the bed and felt giddy, when Loki got the hint and actually carried him to bed. They put out the light then lied down next to each other and entwined their bodies tightly. But there was something on the engineer's mind he had to get out of the way.

 “Uh, I just have to ask, uhm... you don't just entertain my feelings here because you feel obliged, right? I mean, you don't have to thank me. I mean, it would be nice if you thanked me, but don't prostitute yourself to me, just because I take you with me and- and, uh-”

“Because you plan to grant me sanctuary in your home?”

 “Yes! That's it. Always sounds so fancy when you say things. But yeah, that's what I mean.”

 Loki smiled his thin smile, but it was without malice. “I do not... prostitute myself as you put it. Of course I am thankful for your offer, but I am afraid my feelings are not as easy to win as that.”

 Tony felt the need to kiss the tip of the god's nose. Maybe it was stupid to trust the god of lies' word, but if Loki lied, he couldn't tell. He doubted it.

 “So what wins your feelings then?”

 Green eyes were watching him, their usual coldness gone, the wrinkles around his eyes crinkled with mirth.

“Well, there are several things... A brilliant mind, a wicked sense for morality, the willingness to really see a person behind their masks, an unrelenting thrive for honesty... the courage to stand up to a being one knows is stronger than oneself in almost every sense possible... while still being polite and offering drinks to them.”

 The engineer felt himself smiling more, as the list went on, at his last point he even barked out a laugh.

 “You really that impressed by that drink I offered you?”

 “Why would I be not? I was about to kill you and you still were impeccably polite. Contrary to popular believe I like it when people show me respect. Also, you made a great Flyting partner.”

 "Uh, okay?” The look on Tony's face must have been, funny, because Loki first smirked, then leant forward to give him a passionate kiss.

 “Flyting is a sport in Asgard. Two parties would stand up to each other and exchange insults, sometimes even in verse. This would go on, until one surrendered or ran out of ideas. I was the unbeaten master of Flyting back in the day, though it got boring after a while... there were few who excelled at it.”

 Tony now really had to laugh. He had a vivid image of a hall full of warriors, insulting each other and calling it sport.

 “Yep, I can totally see that.”

 “So have I calmed your doubts?”, asked the deity while languidly toying with Tony's hair, he seemed deeply content to just lie there and breathe the same air as Tony.

 “Well, yeah. Just wanted to make sure. See, I don't want to force you or something.”

 “If there is one person I would let myself be forced by it would be you.”, was Loki's ominous answer, followed by a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth, before the god leant back into the sheets.

 They settled against each other and kissed goodnight. This night both of them fell asleep with a smile on their lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE END.  
> Nah, just kidding, but we are well over half point now, if I stick to my notes. Thank you for all that support and praise and everything! You are awesome!


	16. The smaller the Heart

Tony awoke from his own snoring, but continued to dose happily, even scratching his stomach a little bit. He felt all warm and cosy buried under a mountain of sheets. Loki moved beside him, but he didn't care, he was perfectly content to relax in the bed as long as possible.

He felt something wet on his stomach and his face scrunched up in confusion, though he still refused to open his eyes.

The wet sensation wouldn't go away, in fact it was wandering down his torso. “Mgpf” was the only sound Tony made, then finally opened his eyes. Mountain of sheets had in fact been a very accurate description, the sheet towered over him and moved. Lifting his end of the cloth, he peeked under it while blinking sleep out of his eyes.

His gaze fell on Loki, who was busy burying his tongue in his navel, making delicious sounds when he noticed Tony staring.

His grumpy mood after being woken from laziness lightened immediately and he stroked his hands through the black curtain of hair tickling his stomach. The god paused his ministrations to smile up at him.

“Good morrow, sunshine”, greeted Loki, an easy smile playing on his lips.

“Hey, dear. What are you doing?”

“You wish me to stop?” Tony continued smoothing Loki's hair back and shook his head grinning.

“Nono... I'll let myself be surprised.” Was Loki planning on what he hoped he was? Well, he sure hoped so, his cock at least was really anticipating it.

The deity kissed a trail around his navel, then downward, following the wisp of dark brown hair. His hands were gripping Tony's thighs, caressing them in the process. The engineer's prick was slowly swelling with blood, and he made encouraging noises with in his throat.

Eventually Loki hovered above his erection, licking his lips while looking unsure.

“I apologize, it has been a while.”

He dived down and Tony almost shrieked in surprise. First Loki was saying that it has been a while since he's last blown someone, making Tony believe that this might not turn out that great, then spontaneously deep throated him to the hilt. Fuck yeah!

Loki laughed a little at his surprised sound, the vibrations sending shocks of pleasure through Tony's body. He was writhing and panting in no time, fisting his hands in Loki's long hair and encouraging him to continue.

“Damn yeah... yeah... oh you're gorgeous, so gorgeous. Oh, aah, damn, yes, there... do that again.”

It felt like Loki was trying to worm his tongue into his slit, only letting up when he was taking him down his throat and sucking - dear lord was he sucking for all he was worth. The room was filled with slurping sounds and heavy breathing, Tony sounding more desperate by the minute.

“Ungh... not gonna last long, Loki...”

This prompted the god to let go of him, licking along his shaft to capture stray drops of spit. Tony whined at the loss and wriggled his hips to turn the other's attention back to him.

“Ah ah... be patient”, Loki warbled impishly, placing his fingertip on Tony's slit, driving him crazy with the lack of movement.

Tony felt the other's hands wander down the sides of his thighs to his ass, cupping his cheeks and lifting him up a little. He was conveniently placed between his legs, Tony's thighs fell open around him.

“Please tell me if any of this makes you feel uneasy.”

 

Loki lifted his hips more, brining his face to one level with his balls and sucked one of the smooth orbs into his mouth. Tony threw his head back and moaned his lust unashamed towards the ceiling.

He felt Loki's mouth wander lower, sucking along his perineum which made him buck and twitch uncontrollably. It wasn't the direct stimulation from before, but it felt incredibly good and aroused him greatly.

“Ngh.. no... not uneasy at all.”

The other huffed out a laugh against the inside of Tony's thigh, then bit down on it lightly, eliciting a sharp moan from him. Subsequent to that he soothed the small ache with his lips and sucked at the skin until he left a deep red mark. He pecked one last kiss to the mark, then let his tongue trail down between Tony's cheeks, teasing his entrance, all the while giving the other man cheeky looks.

 

Tony's eyes went as wide as plates and he stared at the other. “Hu-okay, slight unease now, but... please continue.”

He was feeling his cheeks heat up when blood flooded them, he nervously fisted his hands in the sheets. It wasn't that it felt bad, to the contrary, but it felt so _intimate_. He had never done this before, let alone had someone do this to him.

He felt the slick tongue lick circles around his entrance, then the flat of it boldly flat over it. He was writhing again, even panting faster than before, but also felt his heartbeat speed up and he felt a little ashamed.

Then it suddenly happened, the tongue gently pressed inside of him and he reflexively clenched around it, a surprised and absolutely undignified sound escaping his mouth. Loki immediately drew back his tongue.

“Apologies.” The god was kissing his thigh again and slowly lowered Tony's hips back to the mattress, shifting his attention back to his cock.

Tony grabbed his wrist to make him look at him. “No, I just... I was surprised okay? P-please continue.” Wow, his face had to glow like a traffic light. Loki smiled down at him gently, but shook his head.

“Do not be ashamed, you are a handsome man, Tony.”

With that the other dived down again, taking his shaft in one smooth motion, swallowing around him and robbing Tony of every coherent reply he might have given to that. His fingers now massaged his perineum, pressing in all the right places.

Feeling the control over his body slip right through his fingers, Tony simply let go, he was grunting and moaning shamelessly now, rolling his hips in a stuttering rhythm up into Loki's mouth. The guy took it like a champ, as if he didn't have a gag reflex.

“I-I'm gonna come, Lo-”

Loki hummed his agreement, the vibrations the last thing needed to send Tony over the edge, and he felt his cock spurting ropes of hot come right down the other's throat. The god sucked him through his orgasm, then slowly eased off of him, licking his lips and looking by all means like a predator. He nuzzled Tony's softening cock affectionately, before crawling up his body and kissing his lover on the lips.

 

The engineer was still catching his breath when he curled his hand around the other's neck to pull him down for a more intensive kiss. The god settled next to him and let his hands wander along Tony's body again, stroking smooth hands down his sides and over his ass, massaging the backs of his thighs. He also was sucking a little at the skin behind Tony's ear, not enough to bruise, but with obvious intent.

“Whoa, Lolo, wait a moment... uh... hate to break it to you, but I'll- well, I'm not a god, you know. Nice to see your confidence in my stamina, but... eh, I'm not eighteen anymore, you see. Not up for round two anytime soon, sorry.”

He sheepishly looked at Loki and found the god watching him with interest, then a smirk grew on his features.

“Well, I will have to train you then.”

 

 

* * *

 

* * *

 

 

As it turned out Loki wasn't angry with him, it rather amused him that humans were so delicate creatures that even one orgasm made them feel fatigued. This didn't put pressure on Tony. Nah, absolutely not. At all.

_As soon as we're on earth, I'll build a fucking machine that takes him all night long, see how he likes that._

Tony left the shower, still on a little wobbly legs, around lunchtime. They had cuddled intensively after his (embarrassing) confession, during which time he had discovered that Loki was absolutely able to harden again directly after an orgasm, if he was stimulated further. Damn alien god physiology. He also had discovered that his lover really got off on dirty talk. He liked that,it was new to him, every time he had tried that with Pepper he felt like he was somehow diminishing her in a way, even if this feeling was most likely just in his head.

He strutted to his workbench where Loki was sitting, mixing strange smelling substances to make them glow blue. Once he was satisfied with the saturation he put them into cases not unlike that Tony had made for their transport-reactor.

He stood behind him and brushed his hair aside to place a kiss on his neck.

“Looks good, I don't think they'll notice the difference.”

Loki nodded, concentrating on his task at hand. “I think we could also use these as grenades, the substances I used react like acid when mixed. Somehow I find myself wanting to be forced to use them.”

It sounded like an afterthought, but Tony heard the bitterness in his words.

“You think revenge will make you feel better?”

The good huffed out a laugh and laid his ingredients aside and slowly massaged his fingers. He looked uncertain, like many thoughts raced through his head at the same time, all wanting attention. “Maybe it will. I can not say, every time I acted on my desire for revenge so far, it came right back to bite me. Though the thought is truly satisfying.”

Tony sighed and chewed on his lower lip a bit.

“Probably not. It would be like scratching a rash. Satisfying while you did it but in the end it won't help you feel better.”

“But scratching rashes worsens them. Wiping these guys out would prevent them from doing harm again”, Loki offered and let his shoulders be massaged by Tony who had offered his hands for the task.. He other leant into the touch, sighing heavily. “You are no stranger to the feeling of vengeance. And still now, that it would be... adequate, you still feel like it would not make you sleep at night.”

He was right, Tony wasn't. He had told Loki of his experiences with Obadiah, Whiplash... even of his conflicted feelings about the almost death of Coulson. In each and every situation he immediately had craved revenge, but in the end it had never been a satisfying feeling.

“Can't change who I am. But you're right, getting rid of them now could spare us trouble later.”

“If we manage.”

“Nah, not if.. the question is _when_.”

“They are many. And _he_ is strong.” Green eyes found his, the gaze unrelenting and strong. Loki came to eye him like this during the past few days. He was watching Tony intently, inside and out. Like he wanted to make sure Tony was okay. He found this behaviour to be kind of cute, lately.

“Well yes, I thought about that. They'll probably come and try again after we escaped. It's not on us to beat them all. I thought maybe we could contact Asgard once we are on Earth. Dunno if you heard about it but they began establishing a way to travel between our realms before I was brought here. They should have made progress now, and if not we will finish it. Asgard's army could take them, right?”

Loki nodded gloomily, watching his own fingers fumble with his tunic. Still a sour topic as it seemed. Tony took seat beside him and watched him intently. “Ask.”

“Hm?”

“There is something you want to ask. I can sense it.”

Loki didn't look at him.

Tony contemplated how to begin for a while, lost in thought. In the end he decided to be bold. He also feared what the answer might be.

 

“Okay... when you worked with the Chitauri to conquer Earth... was that your decision, or did they use you as their plaything like they do with me now?”

For a while Loki wouldn't react. He had that thousand yard stare again, eyes empty and dull. Tony was about to tell him to let it be, when he finally answered, refusing to look at him.

“Yes... no, not really... I- I do not remember...”

The engineer felt anger rise at this statement, but fought it down. This was a not-answer right out of the book. He thought they would be beyond that now, but it seemed he was wrong. Tony fought down his emotions to be able to think clearer again. Maybe Loki was only afraid. He remembered how the god had looked when the Chitauri had dumped him in this room.

“You don't need to lie. If you did it out of your own volition-”

“It is no lie”, Loki shot back bitterly and also sounding angry, though whether directed at Tony or at himself he wasn't able to discern. “I really... am not sure. Too much happened. I let go of Gugnir and fell into the void. Then I remember falling, falling, falling, for how long I know not. I remember many things, many different timelines. I cannot tell which of them I have undergone and which are- which were... I do not know how they came to my head.”

Tony found it hard to comprehend what the other was saying, but he didn't interrupt him. And what was a “Gugnir”? This had to be important somehow, maybe he would be able to understand in the end.

“I think the void between spaces showed me different realities. In the broken pieces of the Bifröst shimmered strange worlds. I remember that I tried to reach out to some that looked like happy places. Others held eldritch horrors who in turn tried to reach for me. I think one of them pulled me out and I landed here. I think _he_ saw me and took “mercy” on me.

“After that my memory is black. Sometimes bits and pieces come to me, but I cannot grasp them. It was as if something roamed in my head. I do remember that I hoped the Allfather would come for me, I hoped for Thor or even Mother. They did not. And I hated them for it. Still do.”

Tony gulped audibly. He reached out a hand and stroked the other's back. When it was clear that he would speak no more, he tried to aid him: “But... what if they wanted to but weren't able? If they didn't know?”

“Heimdall sees all there is in the nine realms and Odin on his throne Hildskjalf even more”, Loki spat out. “The Allfather is nigh omnipotent. If there is one thing I can be sure of it is that I was abandoned like the scum I am.”

“You are no scum, Loki! Look at me, you can't believe that! I can't speak for Odin or Heim-whoever, but you can't believe that- that Thor doesn't love you!?” He had to rescue this somehow. Tony knew he was bad at pep talk, but it had to work now.

“Thor is a fool. He is everything I never was.” Loki smiled at this but it was completely devoid of happiness. It looked wolfish and sad. “The golden son of Asgard, the Allfather's favourite. It was innocent and stupid to think we might have been equals. In fact I was a means to an end. Taken in to act as a shadow to Thor's light, make the crown prince shine even brighter by comparison. He might not have had his hand in the lie that was my life, but he is chasing a dream. He wants us to go back to the way we were. One might think he misses the shadow that makes him look good.”

 

Okay, it was even worse than he had thought. Tony bit his lip and brought his chair closer to the one Loki was sitting on, to take the taller man into his arms. The other was so far away in his thoughts that he didn't even react.

Worse even, Tony didn't know what to say. He didn't think Thor was as bad as Loki put it, then again he had only met Thor once for a few days. Not nearly enough time to get to know someone. When Loki spoke again he dreaded his words.

“You wanted to know if I lead the army against Earth because I wanted it? I do not know. If I wanted to simply hurt Thor, I would have gone for his woman and the friends he had made on Earth. But I was promised the whole planet in exchange for the Tesseract. I think I really thought to be able to unify humanity and make a better ruler than Thor would ever be able to.” Loki looked gloomy, angry even.

“Looking back now I was foolish to believe they would actually let me rule the planet. Or that I even would be able to rule it. Your beasts treatment snapped me out of that dream.”

“Wait, what? May that be a sign that you were-”

“No, I would have noticed if they had controlled my mind. It was me.” Loki licked his lips and smiled again, unpleasantly so. It seemed like he had come to a conclusion.

“I guess there is your answer, Anthony Stark. It was me. I may not have complete memory of what happened... but my feelings did not change. Do you still think it wise to take me with you?” He wasn't even looking at Tony, just totally immersed in his self-loathing.

“Yes, I do.” Loki twitched violently and freed himself frantically from Tony's grip, giving him a weird look.

“I think taking you with me may turn out to be one of the best ideas I ever had. I won't be able to forget what you did, but at least now I understand it. And I am willing to only look into the future from now on.”

“So you want to _fix_ me, let me be your next pet project!?” Loki was on the way into another rant, but Tony calmly held up his hands, entreating to be heard.

“No. There's no need for me to fix you, to me you're just fine the way you are. Well, you are broken, but in a way nobody but yourself can heal. I want to make you happy, because you showed me what a person you are when you feel at peace with yourself. I really think you are your worst enemy. I want to show you that you are loveable, and guess what, you manage to make me happy with your mere presence here. I would have gone crazy here if it wasn't for you! Really, all I want is to make you smile. And if that means I'll have to punch Thor in the face next time I see him I will.”

Loki's face had softened at his words, his features slowly losing their tension. When Tony finished, there even was a small smile on his lips, gone as fast as it came.

“Sorry to be a killjoy right now, but I had to ask.”

The god shook his head, he avoided Tony's eyes, but took his hand instead. “You were only honest. You do not speak what I want to hear, you do not slight me because of who I am. You are different. I wish I had known that before I attacked you.”

“Oh hey, most people want to kill me _after_ they've met me, it's nice to hear the opposite for once!”

This had them both laughing again, even if it was just a little. Tough Tony was happy that they had finally talked about this, he now knew that the wicked spark he had seen in Loki's eyes when he fist met him wasn't gone for good. He still held his resentment close to his heart. Which made Tony the only person in his life on his side. It was a frightening thought that someone as inconsistent as Loki was the person closest to him now. Maybe he would manage to make the other feel better again in time, to open up to other people, ideally his friends on Earth. Even though the god seemed to hold a grudge against Hulk and surely the rest of the team...

And as everyone does in the face of an inconvenient truth, he saw himself as the exception of the rule. The thought made a shiver run down his spine, but it was quickly shied away by the way Loki pressed soft lips gently against Tony's forehead and laid his arms around his frame.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The smaller the heart, the bigger the hate it shelters.  
> -Victor Hugo
> 
> Ah, sorry for the little downer here, but that talk was necessary, I suppose~  
> Thank you all for your amazing support and kindness!


	17. Loyalty

Another three days passed.

Building the electromagnets had been more of a problem than Tony had estimated, but it was finally done. Loki had meanwhile crafted about a dozen fake reactors, they all stood on a shelf above the workbench, in plain view and nobody had spared them more than a glance. After finishing those, he had begun to use some spare metal plates and bent them into shells that looked like the missile Tony was supposed to be building.

In between working time they schemed. As it stood they would use their portable portal device to teleport directly to Stark Tower. The deity was positive that the portal that had been opened there once, had thinned the fabric of space-time enough to make for an easy passage. Like footprints in deep snow, if there had been someone to walk the path already, it was easier to follow his steps, instead of treading new ones.

They also destroyed all documents that held information of the early phase of their planing. It was all in their heads now.

The day they activated the particle accelerator for the first time was the day things really went downhill.

 

 

* * *

 

 

It had started well enough. The plan for today was to render the element, everything was prepared. The pair were going through their usual morning routine – meaning lying in bed, cuddling and attempting to suck the other's soul out through their mouth.

Tony was eagerly grinding his hips into Loki's crotch, fingers splayed over his bum and kneading, when the god wriggled his arms around him and turned on his back, pulling Tony with him. He spread his legs and let Tony slide between them. Loki now wore trousers he had sewn himself out of another discarded tunic, he would not want to run around almost naked on Earth, their journey there not too far off. Now he was using the fabric to create more friction between their crotches.

Tony purred his contend and slowly sneaked his hand below the other's waistband to grab the hard prick there and gave it a few pumps, making his partner grunt in delight.

“Mmmh, you like that, don't you, honeybun?”

He enjoyed annoying Loki with mock nicknames, a habit the god only accepted grudgingly. The face he made now was entirely worth it.

Instead of answering Loki wriggled his hips and got rid of his trousers quickly, spreading his legs around Tony's waist and pulling him closer. Cradled between the long legs, the engineer rolled his hips down, while letting his hands wander up the other's body to pinch two small pink nipples.

“Ah... you wish to take it one step further, Anthony?” To underline his words he rubbed his arse against his balls, a clear invitation for Tony. After seeing the sparkle his proposition brought to Tony's eyes, he freed him from the cage of his legs and pointed a finger to the pot of vaseline on the workbench that they used to grease joints.

The engineer obediently stood up and retrieved the item, curiously looking down at Loki, who spread his thighs invitingly for him. “Uh, you sure? I mean, when I first patched you up, you were... eh, I don't wanna trigger any rape experiences?” _Wow Tony, elegant way to kill a moment._

But the god seemed unfazed, he rolled his eyes and reached up a hand and stroked along Tony's jaw, making him look down at his lover's face.

“You will not, Toto.” Ah yes, there was his retribution for calling the other cute nicknames. He hated it, though sometimes he also loved it a little. His worry was not dissipated though.

“But if they... defiled you-”

“And how, pray tell, did they do that when those reptiles aren't sexually compatible with our organism?”

“But what-?”

A finger on his lips prevented him from saying anything more, furthermore it prompted him to look down at his lover, who seemed exasperated. “Do you seek to kill any enjoyment I expect out of this even before we start? I assure you, I am well.”

Loki managed to elegantly open the vaseline pot Tony held in his hand before he leant up to kiss his lips and then fell back into the sheets.

Tony wasn't entirely certain if it was the right thing to do, but he would give it a try. He coated three of his fingers in vaseline, before setting the pot aside. He petted the inside of Loki's thigh with the free hand and slowly smeared his finger around the other's entrance, watching fascinated how the puckered hole slowly became shiny with the substance. There was no unease on the god's face, so he continued by gently pressing one finger directly onto the skin until it slowly slipped inside.

 

Loki gave a blissful sigh and stretched like a cat on the sheets. Tony was carefully working his finger in and out of his entrance, amazed by the lack of resistance that met him. Time for another one then. He used two fingers to scissor and stretch the muscle, making it ready to take more.

Three fingers had Loki moaning softly, his hands fisting in the sheets.

“Never pictured you as the submissive type”, Tony said to the other with a smile.

“Maybe I just like lying around here and let you do the work?”, answered Loki languidly, lazily tugging at his hardening prick.

“R-ready, Tony... please...” The husky voice and determination in the green eyes robbed Tony of remaining doubts and he slowly freed his fingers from the other's tight heat (he mewled at the loss which sent volleys of blood rushing down into his cock) to reach for the pot again and coat his length, careful not to miss an inch.

He repositioned himself between Loki's legs and aligned his cock to his entrance, gently nudging the head in and when he met no resistance, he began moving in little thrusts until he was balls deep into is lover.

The feeling was incredible. It had been a while since his cock felt like it entered cock-nirvana, but Tony supposed it was like driving a bike.

“Hey Gorgeous, you feel amazing. You alright?” He leant down to meet his lover's lips in a heated kiss. Loki arched towards him, spine tensing in a bow while his legs entwined Tony's torso tightly again. He nodded his contend and smiled between breathless pants.

“Move, please.”

 

Tony gladly did as wished. He hoisted Loki's lanky legs over his shoulders and pulled out just to roughly thrust back in, making his lover squeal from the sensation. Did Asgardians have a prostate? It would be a delight to find out, that was for sure.

Changing directions and angles, he watched for Loki's reaction. So far the god was panting rapidly, sometimes his exhales came out as throaty moans, he thrashed his head from one side to the other, eyes alight with lust and passion.

Then he suddenly cried out and bucked, his cock dropping a load of precome onto his belly. “Ah! Yes, again!”

Tony couldn't help his wolfish grin. There it was.

“Say please, Lolo.” Loki whined a little and looked up to him over red cheeks. He licked his lips haughtily. “Please, Tony, make me scream.”

His rhythm faltered for a moment; damn, Loki had a knack for words. He was pushing all of Tony's buttons right now. That had to be rewarded. He angled his hips and plunged into the spot he just found over and over again, making Loki moan out his pleasure loudly, head thrown back and body bucking helplessly.

Tony caught the other's hand wandering towards his leaking cock, but swatted it away. He leant forward putting all of his weight onto Loki's wrists, pretending to be able to hold him down.

“None of that now, honeybun, you're gonna come from this alone, you hear me?”

Loki indulged him and nodded desperately, while playing being held down by him. Tony found it to be really hot, until the other started rhythmically clenching around his length, almost drawing out his orgasm right then and there.

They wound in the sheets like snakes, rolling and writhing in pleasure, every time Loki arched up from the mattress he pushed Tony half off of him, resulting in him holding on to the other forcefully, no easy task to accomplish on a sweat slick body.

They ended up clinging to each other, Loki's moans desperate and hot right in Tony's ear, he himself was leaving bite marks along the other's throat and shoulders, trying to stifle the sounds he was making. The god's cock was trapped between their bodies and rubbed against Tony's stomach with every thrust, painting it with precome.

All of a sudden, Tony's world stopped moving and his vision went white, his body spasmed violently as he pumped his seed into the trembling body beneath him. Coming down from his peak, he found it unacceptable that he had finished first, so he let his hands find Loki's sensitive spots, while riding out his orgasm.

“So greedy, took all I gave you, didn't you? Now come on, show me what you got. Come for me.”

His words had the desired effect, Loki tensed up almost immediately and pumped ropes of come out of his twitching member. His eyes were screwed shut, mouth wide open, neck stretched to the limit. His body clenched tightly around Tony, the sensation almost too much to take.

Tony pulled out and dropped next to his lover like a stone. They both were catching their breaths, when they turned to face each other, satisfaction apparent on their features. Kissing his lover's nose, Tony plastered himself to the other's body, his hands wandering over his back and sides.

“Mh, I wonder if we can train you to only come at my command, sweetie...” Loki shuddered at the thought and hid his face on Tony's neck. Dirty little bastard even was turned on by the thought. His hands roamed the god's body, cupping his ass and feeling between his cheeks, where vaseline and his spunk dripped out of the well used hole.

“We better get to the bathroom and clean you up, huh?” The cheeky grin he got in response was answer enough.

 

 

* * *

 

 

It was midday when they finally left the bathroom, quite a while later than they had planned. They didn't feel to bad about it but hurried to start their enterprise.

Not half an hour later the machine was humming obediently and apparently working as it was planned. The instruments measuring its power showed perfect stats, everything was ready to render the element.

Loki was standing aside as Tony fed the needed ingredients into the accelerator ring and sealed the opening. He started the machine and it eagerly began fulfilling its purpose. Half an hour of highspeed acceleration, the measuring instruments started beeping, indicating that the melting point was reached.

Tony had to work fast and accurately to steer the beam the accelerator created into its case. The blue glow spread in the form and filled it to the brim. The machine was stopped and Tony looked at his creation, searching for mistakes, flaws, anything.

He felt his heartbeat thrum in his throat while inspecting the steaming hot object. _Please work, please work, please work..._

He found none. Tony carefully placed the object next to its twins on the shelf. Grinning widely he turned to face Loki, threw his gloves and goggles to the floor and jumped the god, kissing him passionately. It had worked. They had built their freedom. Now everything left to do was crafting the Iridium starter to activate it.

 

They were happily stumbling around the room, when suddenly Loki's knees buckled and he slid down Tony's body with a pained expression on his face. Tony quickly tried to help him up again, worming his arms around the god and pulling. That was when he felt something on his back.

“Loki, come on, what is- what is _that_?” He pulled at the little device that had lodged itself in between Loki's shoulder blades. The other was shivering slightly and sank to the ground again. Now sitting on the floor he no longer blocked Tony's view of the door to their room and the guests that had arrived without them noticing.

“Uhm, hi. What's the matter?”, Tony asked, gulping around a tight knot that had formed in his throat. They hadn't noticed Hoodie and its companions enter the room in their joyful tumbe around. Loki on the floor did his best to get into a kneeling position, trying to fit into his role, too late, but trying to rescue the situation.

From the doorway entered a small party of Chitauri steadily into the room.

“What do my eyes behold... Master and servant happily united. Is that not a curious picture”, the hooded alien sneered as he slowly neared the pair, glowing sceptre in hand. The complete lack of surprise in its voice was unnerving. Where did they go wrong?

“We have heard you made progress. I see you built your machine to produce the explosive material. Should the tedious process finally come to an end?”

 

Tony stood up straight and raised his chin in defiance towards these aliens. Maybe not everything was lost. He could always try to disguise their relationship as a Master-slave thing. “Well yeah, the first big step is done, yay, shall we throw a party?”

“Quit your jesting, human. I think I have just discovered a way to make you work that much faster. Since our Lord's kindness has not made you to act fast, maybe his cruelty will. Our engineers think you might have taken more time than you required... and it seems you found a pleasing way to pass the time with your so called slave.”

Tony was having none of it, he wasn't even hiding his disgust for the creature anymore. “Aha? Your master said that I have all the time I need! It took me a while to figure this whole thing out, I'm sorry, I wanted it to work out! And I think I can do with MY slave whatever I wish!” He felt Loki tense next to him on the floor, he shifted his posture slightly, probably to be ready for an attack.

“The plan has changed. You do not have all the time you want anymore, Mr. Stark. There is an aim now. But a man of your dexterity will surely be able to finish in time. We have just the right motivator.” The hooded creature nodded to Loki, a cruel smile twisting his lips. “It took you two some time, we thought you would care more about one another after your journey here... but it worked out just fine in the end."

 

It was making a sound close to a whistle, and Chitauri guards entered the room. They grabbed Tony with force, his struggles for naught, and even though Loki was also fighting back, in the end they subdued him. Both were dragged out of their room into the hallway, and right towards the next room. It was located directly opposite of theirs, an inconspicuous grey door.

They hauled Tony through by his arms, ignoring his incoherent yelling as he was trying to ignore the heart that was trying its best to burst through his ribcage.

Behind the door lay a simple room containing a steel table bolted to the floor, a flimsy looking chair, a rack full of obscure instruments and an assortment of ropes, chains and hooks hanging from the ceiling.

Tony's hands were bound behind his back and he was shoved into the chair, a light shone directly into his eyes. Yes, this was a situation he knew, and he hadn't planned on repeating it. He concentrated on his breathing- in through the nose, out of the mouth, in through the nose and out of the mouth – to calm his nerves. He blinked and shied away from the light though, trying to see into the shadows behind it to make out what was happening.

He heard commotion and Loki's bitter cursing, as it seemed the god put up a decent fight. Soon enough the noises died down and a hand was placed on his shoulder. Into his view the hooded officer held a sceptre sporting a blue glowing gem. The sharp tip poked into his shoulder, when its holder bowed down to his height and gave his best to reek as unpleasant from its mouth as possible while speaking.

“We are most sorry that it has come to this, but there have been changes.” It really didn't sound sorry at all. And why should it? They most likely thought they were going to get what they wanted. Now if he only knew how to come out of this situation...

The tip was removed from his shoulder, the sceptre laid on the table before him. Six-fingered hands creeped over his shoulders and up his neck, to rest their fingers at the sides of his jaw and behind his ears. Tony gulped. “And what is that new situation you keep talking about? I am building your damn weapon, and as you saw, we have made much progress today-”

He was cut off by a feral hiss somewhere behind him in close proximity.

“The great warship is finished and ready to be armed with your weapon. Our Lord Thanos has discovered an artefact deep in the vaults of Asgard. One of the safest places in the nine realms and usually impossible to penetrate. Luckily, we happen to have a former resident of that here, have we not. You wish to tell us something about the vaults, Asgardian scum?”

 

The fingers on Tony's head began pressing in. He groaned in pain quickly, the fingers were moving in slow circles over pressure points that made his bones creak. “D-don't tell them, Loki...”, he ground out through closed pressed teeth. Another wave of pain hit his bones and he whimpered, the sound way too unmanly for his liking.

“Stop!”, came Loki's pained voice from somewhere behind the light. He heard a chuckle from behind him.

“Talk, little godling, then maybe I will stop hurting your human here.” Tony could hear the sneer in the cold voice.

“Why do you not use the sceptre on me? You could be sure I told the truth without hurting your engineer!”

“Well, where would be the fun in that. Why take your will from you, when we can tear the information from you with a little threatening? You have masked your feelings well, but there was no mistaken the affection this puny human carries in his eyes.”

The fingers pressed again, creaking, snapping, cries of pain. Tony's head swam. It was damn hard to concentrate when the pain speared through his head like lightening. He thought he heard Loki breathing harshly.

“Where does Odin hide his most precious treasures, Loki?”

“Loki, don't!”, yelled Tony through gritted teeth, thrashing on the chair and mewling when the pain intensified. “They... gghn, they won't kill me, they need me! Don't tell them! AAAH!”

Tony couldn't hear through the haze in his head, only when the pain subsided slowly, he was hearing murmuring, the voice of the interrogator, though he couldn't make out the words. When he was clear again, the pain only a threat in the form of fingers and a dull headache, he heard Loki gulping, loudly. _Oh no..._

“The vaults of Asgard lie stories deep in the bowels of the palace.” Loki sounded reluctant, his voice was soft, and also a little exasperated.

“Don't tell them! Whatever he needs it will lead to more than just the destruction of As-AH!” Tony thrashed on the chair again, the hands had crept over his cheeks and were now intruding his mouth. He still tried to talk through them, but then there was pressure, incredible pressure on his teeth and he yowled in agony.

“Stop hurting him, please”, he heard Loki's meek voice from the other side of the room when he could think again. Judging by the sound of his voice, the god had gone into a state of detachment, he sounded calm, but absent.

“I will tell you what you desire to know when you stop hurting him.”

“Do go on then.”

“The... the vaults are arranged like a giant pyramid that is turned on its tip. They lie directly under the throne room and can be accessed from the sprawling cellars of the palace. In the giant free space in the middle hovers Odin's trophy room, I suppose the artefact you seek is located there. It can only be accessed through a door that lies in a hallway behind the throne room. It is heavily guarded at all times, enchantments secure the door that can only be undone by... a member of the royal family. The only other way to access it is to teleport directly into the trophy room, though that breach might have been closed after it has been broken into once this way.”

 

The alien seemed pleased by this answer, because Tony felt the fingers leave his mouth, though they still rested by his side. He sighed deeply. Of course Loki would betray his family. Without much protest even. Maybe hoping that Loki would see reason in the bigger picture had been too much to ask...But he also did it to save him from harm. They would not kill Tony, they both knew that, but they were able to cause pain, so much pain without damaging him... He doubted he would be able to take much more of that. He tried to get his breathing under control again, he looked away from the light and blinked heavily. Tony also deliberately shook his head. Why didn't Loki lie?

“So you could lift the enchantment on the door?” The interrogator paced the room, Tony could hear his steps echoing back and forth.

“No, I was stripped of my magic, my title and my rights”, Loki bitterly confessed. At least this way they wouldn't use him actively when they were attacking Asgard.

“Well, we will see to that. We think your clever little mind will find a way to open that door when we give you the right... motivation.”

Loki ground his teeth by the sound of it. “I will be of not much use, Odin outlawed me. They will kill me on sight, I will not even make it into the palace.”

This gave the interrogator pause, but not for long. “Yes, you have made yourself as useless as you can possibly be. But say, is there not even one who might spare you?”

“Don't do that, Loki, please... you can't betray him... again”, Tony whined, before he was backhanded across the face. He felt his eyes sting, he wasn't sure if It was from the bright light.

For a moment the room was silent, despite the crowd that inhabited it. Then Tony heard Loki's voice again. “Do you swear to let Stark go?” It barely sounded like Loki, the spoken words were something dark and acidic in the stale air.

“We will not harm him further, if you cooperate now and until our Lord has received what he desires.”, snarled the interrogator.

“There is... the possibility that the crown prince, Thor will spare me and also defend me from others. He would surely be able to open the vault's door, also. I could convince him.”

“NO!”, Tony yelled, before falling silent again. He needed time to figure this out. Maybe Loki was just stalling, maybe they would come out of this room, could get to work and still realize their escape. They could warn Asgard...

His words let to the Aliens murmuring among themselves, Tony saw the silhouette of Hoodie nod swiftly.

“Very well. We will speak of the details later, godling. We sincerely hope that you have learned your lesson and will not cross us again.” Loki must have confirmed that, because the creature turned back to Tony, looking confident. “Now onto something completely different.” Tony was hurled from the chair and thrown to his knees on the floor. Hands on his shoulders again, this time not hurting, but holding him in place. Bright neon dots were dancing in his line of sight, the bright lamp had left its shadow on his eyes for now. When he managed to shake that from him he saw Loki standing before him, held by his arms by two Chitauri guards.

 

“Anthony Stark, see this as a motivator to put your all and everything into your task and act quickly. Maybe you will get him back in one piece then”, the hooded alien droned, Tony could again hear it sneering.

Another Chitauri soldier took some device roughly in the shape of a gun from the rack. It walked back towards them, where the two soldiers holding Loki were spreading his arms sideways. From where Tony knelt, he could make out his lover's stony face. He was staring straight ahead, face carefully blank. He also avoided Tony's eyes. At least he had the decency to feel a little bad about his offer...

The soldier set the gun right to Loki's elbow and without warning shot it. Blood sprayed on Tony's face, and he had to be held down violently, because he jerked forward, trying to help the other. His scream of rage died in his throat, when he saw the alien moving to the other arm.

The procedure was repeated and Loki didn't even make a sound. Tony could see that he had clenched his jaw hard enough to break a tooth, and he had jerked when the gun had been fired, but other than that one wouldn't guess that there had been a hole punched into his body.

The Chitauri were chuckling- perverse bastards that they were - when the gunslinger moved behind Loki and set his gun to his right shoulder. Tony saw his partner gulp, then the room shook again with the noise of the shot. More blood sprayed on Tony's face, this time his shout “NO!” wasn't held back.

“It is fine, Tony, do not let them get to you.” Loki's voice trembled just a tiny bit, other than that his facade was flawless. His other shoulder got shot shortly thereafter and Tony could see sweat drops standing on the god's forehead. He now stared at his lover, trying to comfort him with his gaze.

_I will get you out of here as soon as I can, I promise. Hold on, Lolo._

 

He heard the clanking of chains and saw in horror how the Chitauri pressed a hook through the gunshot wound in Loki's shoulder. The deity hissed in pain, but otherwise remained stoic. Even as three more hooks pierced his flesh, he did not show pain. Tony was caught between admiring that resolve and screaming his rage at the aliens.

The soldiers stepped back and let Loki's arms hang free. They sunk a little to his side, but it seemed to hurt too much, to move them down. A volley of more shots was heard and the first thing Tony saw was that Loki's knees buckled and he crashed to the floor, upper body only held by the hooks. He lowered his gaze and saw blood pooling around Loki's knees. His lover was breathing heavily now, eyes pressed closed.

“He will remain here in our custody until you finish our weapon, Mr. Stark. Hopefully in time to get him healed before we start our operation on Asgard. Otherwise the crown prince will have to take pity on you, as you voice your request to him. Understood?”

Loki, who had pressed his eyes closed and breathed heavily through the pain, nodded. “Yes.”

“Any parting words.”

“Do not... worry, Stark. Build what you must.”

In his daze Tony nodded, his eyes were as big as plates. He just felt numb now.

He felt the breath of the hooded alien uncomfortably close to his ear as the creature bent down to him, whispering in his ear. “You know, Mr. Stark... I am glad to finally be able to treat you the way you deserve. Your attack on our ship just so happened to kill my spouse, did you know that? You hurt him. Now watch, as I hurt yours.”

Tony watched in horror as the hooded alien stepped behind his partner, now eye to eye with him. He laid his weird hands on Loki's temples and pressed in. After this only got a pained gasp, he somehow let his hands glow with magic, and pressed further inward.

 

Loki screamed.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took me longer than intended, but at least it is also longer than normal chapters. :)


	18. From Within

The two bulky Chitauri guards holding Tony down, took his arms in a death grip, forcing him to stand up. The hooded creature still had his hands firmly on Loki's forehead, causing great pain before he pulled them back. Immediately the god's head slumped forward, his whole form shook from heaving gasps. He hung limply from the chains trying to regain his composure, the Chitauri stroking his black hair mock affectionately, gripped the back of his neck pulling him up.

Loki looked dazed, his gaze wandering until he found Tony's face. Though he wasn't able to concentrate on it, “D-do not worry,” was the only thing he could gasp out. The fingers were once again searching for his temples, glowing eerily repeating their sick game.

Tony yelled and tried to scramble towards his partner, but the Chitauri held him back. He was pulled to his feet and dragged out of the room, all while fighting and yelling insults at his captors. He tried to get a hold of on the doorframe, but they managed to pry his fingers away from it without breaking them. Tony spit in the general direction of the hooded Chitauri that was working over the god still kneeling before it, he didn't see if he hit anything, before another guard obscured his view. They hurled him out of the door despite his kicking and screaming, he only stopped struggling when it fell shut behind him with a deafening clang. The screams and shrieks could still be heard through the metal barrier separating them, muffled as they were.

“Work quickly,” was the last barked command he got from the officer before he was left alone in the hallway. He watched the backs of his captors head down the dark uninviting corridor leaving his sight once they turned a corner. Tony immediately turned around and banged his fists against the solid metal that separated him from Loki. The door to their room, still standing wide open, was bleeding warm light into the dark corridor, it illuminated a small part of the floor on the opposite wall. The heavy metal door before him remained shut, it felt like his connection to Loki had been severed once the door had been closed, like it cut off their lives from one another. One moment of carelessness, a few minutes of torment and weeks – months of closeness, of comfort and salvation in each other's arms gone, just like that.

 

Looking back he should have seen it coming. The hooded officers had lingered in their room, had watched them, had been asking trivial things just to spend more time in their company. They had found more and more ways to visit, even minor things, like him skipping meals... All while Thanos had searched for some artefact and in the end found it in Asgard.

Had his love made him so blind, that he simply forgot about the danger they were in? It surely looked like it, the god was occupying his thoughts more often than not. Even now he could hardly think of anything else, even though his task at hand was important, he knew he had to be alert now. Preventing the Chitauri from exploiting any more weaknesses; however, was a bit damn much to ask of him at the moment.

He heard Loki's groans from behind the steel, but he couldn't reach him and couldn't protect him from what was happening, ' _this is your fa_ _ult, they saw_ _it in_ your _eyes somehow,'_ he thought to himself. He threw himself against the door, banging his hands on the cold metal surface and even scratching along the seams, but it all amounted to nothing. The backs of his hands he noticed, were sprayed red with blood, his lover's blood – and screamed in rage at the door. Tony struck and kicked it until he was out of breath and felt exhausted. In the end, he sunk down to the floor, feeling empty inside.

 

Images of Yinsen, flooded his mind. A friend who had helped him through his darkest time, laying dead, because he couldn't manageto rescue him. Laying dead - because he had wanted to give Tony a chance at survival and now it looked like it was repeating itself all over again and again in the last moment right before they could make their escape. He was nearly ready to go catatonic, when the crack of a whip was heard and shocked him out of his stupor. He stared at the door in shock.

The screams had stopped, but the cracks could still be heard clearly, Tony let out a low keening noise that was trapped in his throat, before hitting himself in the face with the flat of his hands.

He had to function now, it was his mission to make sure the past did not repeat itself. Tony wiped his face with his hands, felt wet trails on his cheeks but chose to ignore them. He was allowed to get a little riled up by emotion in his situation, he wouldn't let it intervene with his plans.He would build the Iridium starter as quickly as possible, the only problem was that he had to figure out what to do it exactly. He'd seen Selvig's machine, yes, but only from afar and later on one of his monitors. He cursed his lack of curiosity at that moment, he could have gotten SHIELD to let him examine it. There was no question that he would be able to build a mechanism that would start their portable portal, but how much time would he need? When they had planned the escape, he had possessed all the time in the world. Now there was a life on the line.

Loki was a hardy creature, he would be able to endure much more before his body would shut down. This thought had to become Tony's mantra.

 

 

* * *

 

 

The Chitauri were openly monitoring his progress now, luckily, they weren't becoming any wiser, so he was able to justify everything he did. He lied constantly, hoping for the love of god, that he wouldn't get tangled up at one point or another. His anger and scorn for them was something he didn't even have to fake. It was a liberating feeling to not hold his feelings back any longer. The masks had come off, finally.

Yes, of course, the atomic material would be produced soon, it had only been a test and he wasn't completely satisfied yet. The shells? Oh yes, the shells, wonderful shells, all nice and shelly, only useful after he had crafted something to put into them. How long? Well, no clue there, but maybe if he could get his fucking boyfriend back, he would feel motivated to be a little more informative, thank you very much.

He didn't sleep. The first night after the disastrous run of the particle accelerator, he had worked like a madman, making tests with the Iridium trying to get a feeling for how it worked. Only then, would he be able to craft a mechanism that was able to kick-start the transportation reactor.

By the time midday rolled around, he threw his tools at the wall and had a brief breakdown. Just minutes before some Chitauri had visited and then disappeared into the room opposite of his. They always made sure he saw when they visited Loki, it was part of their perverse plan to break him. Although, he was determined not to show them how much it actually affected him, in truth he was hardly able to stay calm in those moments.

 

After two days of research that hadn't brought him even a bit closer, he fell on his bed and almost immediately fell asleep.His body was drained, his work flawed and if he continued this way there wouldn't be an escape any time soon. He had considered taking the caffeine-drugs again, but decided against it. His body was in a bad enough shape already, there was no need to worsen that. His sleep was uneasy to put it mildly, not only did he lack the familiar closeness of his lover next to him, but he was also visited by night terrors that had him waking up in a pool of sweat and feeling ill. It was a feeling he hadn't missed during the last weeks at all. He tried to sleep for ten hours, of which he had slept maybe four, before getting up to shower and wolfing down his breakfast. When he returned to work, he felt a little stronger than he had the day before.

He sat down and looked at the Iridium strapped into a contraption before him; he looked on as if it would reveal its secrets to him if he stared at it long enough. He had tested most of the ideas he had thought up, yesterday. He had given up after a while, accepting that his mind was blank for the moment. Looking through the workshop, he noticed the almost-forgotten shells he made for the Iron Man armour. Might as well get that ready until he came up with something concerning the Iridium. He would make them bleed, come what may.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Days passedand Tony had to assess his new situation carefully. They still fed him good food, thank god for little mercies and they still would hurry to provide, if he had need of a material. He made it a little petty act of revenge to order ridiculously rare stuff he didn't need and lied expertly every time they asked what it was for. Their tone and behaviour had changed drastically though, the officers were less polite and openly scornful towards him, also their inspections became more meticulous. Tony learned early on that he had to hide anything crucial, which was starting to become less of a problem after some time had passed. As the days had worn on, he had collected an assortment of weird and unique materials that had been laying around the already chaotic room adding to the clutter, so having one more odd component wouldn't have had drawn too much un-needed attention.

He often looked at the blue glowing cases that Loki had manufactured to hide their reactor. It was the last sign of his lover that had remained in this room. A smile played on his lips whenever he thought about what Loki had told him, that they could be used as grenades. When nothing came of his work, he took one of them from the shelf and rolled it in his hand thinking about the one who had crafted it, that was when a tiny piece of paper caught his interest. It was weirdly folded beneath the seam of the grenade, he picked up another one off the shelf and turned it in his hand searching for any differences between the two cases, since he couldn't fathom its function. Eventually he had pulled all the cases off the shelf and inspected each one, when he wasn't able to find another, he gave up assuming that the one he held was the only one he was going to find.

Tony pulled it out and waited for a reaction, an explosion, anything. When nothing happened, he unfolded the small piece, revealing Loki's excessively tiny curved handwriting.

 

_Tony,_

_I take it that if you found this note and I am no longer with you, than something has happened to separate us. Most likely Thanos has grown impatient with you. Know that they will use me to force you to speed up your endeavours. Do not worry yourself over me, I will be fine. Do not lose focus on the goal; also should it come to it and you have been backed into a corner, save yourself and do not hesitate to make use of these. I have crafted them so that they may be connected to render a rather potent blast. The wiring is hidden in the seams of the case, unroll them and attach an electrical timer. Make sure to be as far away as possible when you activate it._

 

_Here's to destruction,_

_Loki_

 

Quickly looking at the door to make sure nobody saw him, he smiled sharply. He dug his fingernails into the seam of the case he was holding, and lo and behold, it held a wire long enough to span about two feet. That night, he set one of the grenades aside for separate use and connected the others, just as Loki had planned. He had found a timer among his ordered bullshit that would do the job just fine. Since he didn't remember requesting it, Loki must have snuck it onto one of his lists. _That's my boy._

Still smiling, he set the assembled cases aside and out of sight for later use.

He gladly accepted the fact that he worked well under pressure, only the fear for the man he had come to love caused his gut to clench uncomfortably at times, but he fought the feeling down to be able to clear his mind for his task.

Working on the new armour helped. He had something to do and he would make good use of his recently obtained knowledge of Chitauri tech. Those bastards were the scum of the universe in his opinion, but their knowledge of bio-mechanical technology was unparalleled. When he returned to Earth, and he _would_ return toEarth, he could become a luminary of bio-engineering if he wanted.

 

Tony couldn't risk assembling the complete suit, but he found he didn't need to. Some of the stuff he had requested actually proved useful; more importantly, he found a variety of strong magnets that could be polarized specifically. He thought of them as some new kind of bracelets, calling the armour to him while it assembled itself. He could hide the different pieces of the suit around the room and make them fly to the right position on his body separately.

Tony formed the single pieces of the armour and put them on at night to see if they fit him, that way he could be sure the Chitauri wouldn't catch him. He had never been more glad that this race of aliens had not invented video surveillance yet.

When the Chitauri came and brought him his food, he glared at them, watching how they put down the food on his table and mocked him. While only the officers were able to speak his language, he got quite good at reading the body language of the soldiers and guards. Those fuckers, also had their polite days well behind them.

They were making sport by lingering in his room longer than necessary, making sure he saw the weapons they carried and would take with them to the room on the opposite side of the hallway. Tony had to refrain from hurling sharp objects at them whenever they left his door wide open so he could do nothing but watch as they entered the other room.

At one of these times, Tony noticed that they pressed the back of their hands to the small black panel next to the door. The armour they wore seemed to contain the opening mechanism for the door's lock, he filed the information away and continued his work.

Five days after they had been separated, Tony had finished his new suit. He had only worn parts of it up till now, not daring to assemble the whole thing in fear he would not be able to slip out of it fast enough should one alien visit out of their normal schedule.

On one hand, it was a risky move to only test it this way. On the other hand, this would be his Mark VIII suit, it wasn't anything too fancy, even if he happened to have the materials on hand. No, this would be just a basic design, the sleek form of his new armour had to be made quicklyso there would be no chance to test it, it had to work and hold up on the first try, there would be no second chances if he failed. Keep it real and keep it simple, was his motto this time around. Nothing fancy.

 

On the sixth day, he finished the helmet of his new suit and was hit by an idea. Throwing aside the HUD for his helmet carelessly, he grabbed the Iridium he used for testing and some of the unused magnets. During his tests for the individual suit parts, he had noticed how the magnets brought about sparks when they assembled. The effect was quite painful when those sparks hit his skin, it wasn't even a fiery type of spark, more like an electric one that burned his skin black on impact. It hurt like a bitch to say the least, but he had come to view it as a necessary evil.

Why hadn't this idea come to him before? All this time he had worked on the suit and the magnets, and it didn't even occur to him that the energy emitted by the process may be able to initiate the spark needed to activate the reactor? Well, better late than never.

He set up the components quickly, the Iridium in the middle of its contraptions, one magnet next to it and the other in Tony's hand, on the other side of the room. Tony placed it on a shelf making sure nothing would hinder its way, then returned to his experimental set-up.

He breathed deeply, activated the magnet attached to the iridium and then dove out of the way, when the other part of said magnet shot across the room towards him. He was huddled under the workbench when he heard a loud clank and felt the table above him shake slightly.

Carefully leaving his safe position, he peeked onto the table and saw the block of Iridium clenched between the two magnets glowing ominously. It emitted white sparks and mini bolts of lightning,

“Yesss!” hissed the engineer, he happily punched his fist into the air. He hit the table by accident and toppled his invention, but he laughed anyway.

He had it.

He really had it. He had managed to heat up the Iridium enough to make it spark, to even emit energy! Now he only had to cut it to a more convenient form and he had his starting mechanism. He couldn't contain his smile, as he cleaned the desk and freed the now cold Iridium from the magnets, before setting them aside.

Just as if on command, a harrowing scream sounded from beyond the hallway. Snarling he turned towards the door, levelling it with a glare. “I'm comin' baby, just a little bit more. These fuckers will burn.”

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks to my lovely Betas:  
> kidforgottenbygod and lokiofasgard (both on tumblr).


	19. Full Circle

Half of the following night Tony, worked on the start application. The remainder of it, he slept. Tomorrow, he would have to choose the right time to strike, the new plan was clear in his mind, and it wasn't too complicated. It should all work out.

Of course sleep never came without its problems. He still missed Loki's soothing presence next to him badly, but that would soon change. When he couldn't take lying in his bed any more, he got up and roamed his room. He packed some rare materials into small storage areas of his suit, stuff that was hard or even impossible to find on Earth. He hoped they were hard to find around here as well - the more he was able to hurt the Chitauri, the better.

While he packed, he didn't dare work on his plan too much. A too precise plan would in the end hurt more than aid, in case something went wrong- _Nothing is going to go wrong. There is no other possibility._

 

He finished gathering the stuff he wanted to steal. He set one empty crate aside, this inconspicuous, yet pivotal crate, would hold the bomb Loki had crafted. Tony had wired all of the little blue glowing grenades, to a timer that would automatically start a 20-minute countdown once his suit assembled. Well, not all of them - a spare one still rested in its place on the shelf. Thus the stage was set. The only thing he could do now was wait. The waiting was the worst part really, he was uncomfortably nervous and jittery. So he paced the room, avoiding machinery, kicking around empty crates, and jumping over piles of stuff lying around. By the end of the night his fingernails were mere shadows of what they once had been, he'd chewed so much of them off.

It was ten in the morning when he sat in the workshop, trying to destroy every schematic he had drawn up of the nukes he had been commissionedto build. Tony wasn't about to leave them anything. Nothing, he wouldn't even leave them with the unneeded materials, even the useless shells if it could be helped. It was bad enough that Thanos, had laid eyes on a weapon from Asgard, he shouldn't get the nastiest thing Earth had to offer, too.

The planned attack on Asgard, was another thing they would have to think about once they had escaped. He had to find a way to warn the Aesir; if they weren't taken by surprise, Supreme Daddy Odin, would surely be able to fend them off. At least Tony hoped he would. But in the end, it was a thought for another day, when there wasn't a fight ahead.

After destroying his documents, he surveyed the room one last time. Nothing looked more suspicious than any other day. All the pieces of his new suit, were strategically hidden. The reactor and its start mechanism were ready for showtime, and his mind as sharp as ever. It was nearing the usual time for his daily entourage to poke their ugly alien noses into the room and ask questions. He couldn't wait to introduce his Repulsor-powered fist, to several Chitauri faces. It would be a nice lead up to holding Loki in is arms again at the end of the day. Hopefully they hadn't worked Loki over as bad as last time.

 

His thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. Bastards were still knocking, as if they actually would stay outside if he told them to. They barged in a second latter unbidden – as always; five tall Chitauri, one of them old pal Hoodie, the others flanking him, came into sight.

“Good morning Mr. Stark, any news today?” asked the hooded one, waltzing into the room as if it owned it. Well, actually it might have. 

Tony glared at the aliens. At first he had smiled and played their little game, but why the trouble when they were openly threatening him. “Well yes, how about we change our routine a bit today. If you bring Loki to me, _then_ I will share some _splendid_ news.”Tony exuberantly greeted them, sardonic smile frozen on his face.

The Chitauri made a 'tsk-tsk' noise and shook its head, feigning sadness. A smile tugged at the corner of its lips and Tony hated it even more for it, if that was even possible. “I am afraid that is the one thing I may not grant you. You see, we can not risk you losing your incentive to accomplish your task. But present me with a little progress, and I would be more than willing to give him your regards later.”

The chuckles the group of Chitauri were making, gave Tony a pretty good idea what those regards would look like. Still smiling though, he stepped forward, right into the position he had chosen beforehand. The position his armour would assemble best when it came to it,“Pity. I think I don't feel like telling you anything today, buddy.” With a cocky grin on his lips, he watched as the Chitauri looked at him, dumbstruck. He had never before refused to tell them anything; he had lied and told half-truths, but never outright denied them information, out of fear Loki would bear the consequences.

Hoodie regained his composure first. It cleared its throat and took a step closer to Tony, arms spread out invitingly. “There must be a misunderstanding, Mr. Stark.It is not your choice, to reveal information to us, it is your duty. I am a gracious individual, so I am willing to ignore this little... slip. What progress have you made, Mr. Stark?”

“Oh, I've understood you perfectly fine, Voldi. And my answer remains the same, I won't tell you anything until you bring Loki here.” Tony's heartbeat drummed through his body, he could feel it tickle in his fingertips and pulse behind his eyes. He was way more afraid than he let on. His overactive imagination, brought every worst case scenario he could think of, to the forefront of his mind. They played out in crystal clarity and he ignored them all, keeping his eyes on the Chitauri before him. 

The hooded Chitauri now laughed, actually laughed; Tony could hear real mirth in his voice. It turned theatrically to its friends, or underlings, or whatever they were, gesturing to them like Tony was an animal, a dog that acted out of line. Tony's vision tunnelled in anger, he fought hard to contain it. Losing it now would only hurt his plan.

“Anthony... you are not in a position to pose threats, nor to demand anything. You have two options now: One, you do as you are asked and show me what you have accomplished. Or two, you keep being stubborn and we will unleash our anger on your little lovebird over in the other room. Which do you choose?”

Hey, he had managed to make him angry! Hoodie probably wasn't too familiar with people disobeying him and coped like a child: by stamping his foot on the floor and yelling. Well, they actually haven't come to the yelling part just yet, but it couldn't be too far off anymore. It would have been funny, were the situation not so serious. Just a tiny bit further, a little more provocation and that bastard would 'make him watch', as they called it in movies.“Nope, not tellin ya. Have fun.”

The Chitauri hissed at him, “I thought you a smart man Anthony Stark, alas, the merit of your intelligence seems limited. We will see what your lover will say to that. I advice you to come to your senses, if you want him back with all limbs intact.” They turned to leave then, totally ignoring him, wouldn't even _try_ to make him watch them torment Loki. Well fuck, there went plan no.1.

 

But they wouldn't call him Tony Stark Magnificent Bastard, if he hadn't thought of backup. He waited for them to leave the room. When they were all in the hallway, he activated the magnets attached to the different parts of the suit and stretched out his limbs. With whirring sounds his gauntlets flew towards him, followed closely by the rest of the plates for his arms, the chest piece, and lastly the legs.

The single parts now adorning his body unfolded and stretched, encasing him in a matter of seconds. Just as his faceplate slid down and the HUD activated, he saw the first Chitauri turn towards him, drawing its' weapon.

However, Tony was faster. He grabbed the grenade he had set aside and hurled it at the back of the last one. It shattered upon impact with the alien's armour, effectively blasting the creature to shreds, while simultaneously bending the doorframe out of shape and knocking the group of Chitauri behind their now dead peer, off their feet. They were splattered with purple blood and gore, slipping on their peers' remains. “Kindest regards from Loki, fuckers!”

 

He ran forwardfiring repulsors blindly into the hallway, he was hoping to hit as many of them as he could while they still struggled to get up. When the first of them was shot, the others instinctively dived for shelter down to the door. Tony prepared for the onslaught that would surely come once he dared to exit that way.

They did not disappoint, he ran out of his room and immediately felt the hard blasts of their weapons denting his suit. Luckily they didn't damage his body underneath. He threw himself around and fired to the right side of the big hole that had once been a door. Two soldiers were currently hunched down behind the bent door frame, they poked out every so often to take pot shots at him. He pierced their heads with two well aimed blasts. Satisfied by the way their bodies twitched, then slumped lifelessly to the floor, he mentally patted himself at a job well done; these new repulsors, definitely packed a punch.

Something hard and fast hit him in the side and threw him a few feet down the corridor. The HUD went black for a moment, but rebooted quickly, revealing the looming figure of the hooded Chitauri coming towards him, staff raised. Tony kicked up one leg and fired the flight repulsor up, bringing distance between them and knocking the hooded pursuer on his ass.

He scrambled to his knees, evading most of the gunshots from the last of the soldiers. When he finally managed to retain a stable position on his knees, he felt the wall behind him, he would use it for leverage. The shots came speeding towards him, a few managed to land hits on the suit, but most of them hit the wall completely missing their mark. Several shots to his helmet made the HUD go dark again, this time it twitched in vain, before giving out completely. He blindly aimed again in the general direction of the two remaining aliens, firing rapidly and with more determination.

Tony heard a dull thump and some hissed curses, then the onslaught on his person stopped. The HUD flickered back to life and he could see a dark corridor littered with dead bodies. The remains of the one he had hit with the grenade, still laid in the doorway. The two he had shot after that were happily bleeding on the floor, while his last volley of blasts seemed to have wounded the firing arm of the fourth soldier who was crawling away from him, dragging a limp arm with it.

Tony aimed at its back – no time to be careless now– and fired until the creature stopped its retreat and slumped down. Where was the hooded one? Tony scanned the hallway in both directions but found nothing. It must have escaped while he had been blinded. Well, no time to deal with that now, he thought. Standing up and facing the steel door separating the corridor, from the room Loki was kept in, he aimed at it and shot. Nothing happened, it didn't even budge. A kick to the steel only dented his boot and broke two of his toes. Cursing at the door, he hopped around on the other foot slowly making his way to the Chitauri soldier he had shot down. It had started to crawl again. Since he surely couldn't have _that_ , he grabbed its shoulder and hurled it around, accidentally flipping the whole body with the might of his suit.The alien struggled, but stood no chance, as Tony aimed his repulsor directly at its elbow and severed the creatures arm.The rest of its body fell down again, twitched and finally surrendered to the blood-loss.

 

Tony turned to the door again, arm in hand and pressed it against the panel. When nothing happened, he examined the arm again, noticing that there still was a weapon mounted to the arm. He carelessly pulled it off, though didn't throw it away, before pressing the severed hand to the panel again. If that lock required a living Chitauri to open it, he was fucked. As it turned out, it didn't. 

He pressed the appendage to the panel and fumbled around a bit. When the panel finally lit up and the door hissed open, Tony stormed in. Blackness blanketed the room making it hard to see, it took him several seconds and a lot of blinking to get accustomed to the rooms darkness. He stood there in all his bloody glory: sprayed with purple Chitauri-goo, severed arm in one hand, and an alien weapon in the other.

“The door... close... t-the door,” rasped a voice he recognized as belonging to Loki. He quickly turned to do just that. However, when he reached for the door he saw more Chitauri swarming the hallway. Leading the way, was none other than his old pall, Hoodie. He fired at them while he pulled the door closed, mowing through their ranks and killing quite a few, injuring even more.

The door was almost closed, when he punched his armoured fist to the opening panel, damaging it hopefully beyond repair. The door fell shut with the same devastating clang it had made a few days ago, but this time he was the one shutting the enemy out. He turned and let his visor slide up, immediately seeing Loki still kneeling on the floor, still hanging from the hooks and chains attached to the ceiling. The arc reactor's blue glow, was enough to make out deep scars criss-crossing his pale back, a remainder of the lashes he had received. His clothes were in tatters, if he thought they were bad before, they were pretty much non existent now. The whole sight before him made him smile like a sociopath. Lying on the floor scattered in front of Loki, were several severed Chitauri fingers that he had bitten off during his imprisonment.

Tony removed the helmet completely and set it aside. He knelt in front of his lover. Loki's head was hanging low close to his chest, so Tony gently took his cheeks in his hands and lifted it. When the curtain of black hair slid back, two bright green eyes looked at him. Loki saw him, his face though bloody and beaten, twisted into a smile. So this was the Loki who had purpose, something to live and fight for. His voice, however, sounded meek, surprised even. “You came back...”

Tony stared at him for a moment, not liking what he heard in his lover's voice. “Of course I did,” he told him, trying to sound less sad than he actually was. He leaned forward and kissed the cracked lips, ignoring the strong taste of iron and grime and pressed his face to the other's. The row of bloodied teeth kept smiling at him, even as Loki laid his head on Tony's shoulder in exhaustion.

“I'll break you loose, might hurt, okay?”

“Do your worst, Iron Man.”

Tony carefully took hold of Loki's upper arm and the hook, then carefully pulled it out of his elbow. To his credit, Loki didn't groan in pain... much. This wasn't a time for pity though, as there was commotion outside the door. The first loud bang made him jump. He lost the grip he had on Loki's arm as the hook sank deeper than it had been before; the god hissed out a sharp breath, but otherwise tried to be still.

 

From the sound of it, the Chitauri outside were ramming the door with progressively more force. Tony had hit it with several repulsor blasts and it didn't budge, but now it caved in with every forceful hit it took. He quickly pulled out the hook in Loki's shoulder, stabilizing him with his free arm in order to not make Loki's other elbow hold all the weight.

Loki hung at his side, pressing his face to Tony's neck, and breathing heavily. “I've missed you, baby,” Tony grit out while fumbling with the last remaining hook, trying to worm it out of the hole in his lover's arm.

“Missed you, too... nursling,” Loki retorted with mirth in his voice.

Tony giggled uncontrollably. Maybe it was the adrenalin, but he just could not stop. He finally freed the hook and let Loki's arm down. The door cracked audibly, caving inwards. It had bent so much, that it retained a lasting dent. There were slits now at the sides of the door through which he could make out some Chitauri in the hallway. He reached for his belt and tucked at the activating mechanism.

“Okay, Loki, lay back and think of Stark Tower. One, two-”

Laser missiles were fired through the open slits in the door, he dived forward, burying Loki under him and reached for the mechanism again. He had to turn on his side in order to do so, that was when something whirred towards him and hit him full in the chest. Pain exploded behind his eyes. He managed to pull the mechanism out, yelling “STARK TOWER!” and then there was only the strong pull at his very being.

A deafening, somehow oily sound pressed through the door, washing over him like a tidal wave. The last thing he saw was bright blue light in the hallway, punching its way through the Chitauri and through the steel door as if it was made of paper, looked like the Loki-bomb did its job well.

Suddenly, the room distorted violently before his very own eyes. Everything stretched and bent to form a tunnel, the rush of energy speeding past him, pulled him backwards. This must be what travelling at the speed of light felt like. He wasn't sure, but he thought he heard himself scream, but the sound was distorted all around him. The only thing of certainty, was Loki's body by his side; though even he looked stretched and warped strangely. 

Tony tried to look around him, but had closed his eyes immediately. He saw star systems, and rays of light, bent out of shape and alive. He saw creatures as vast and dark as the universe itself, reaching for him, promising him sweet nothings and great pain. He saw the birth and death of a galaxy all in the blink of an eye and it was the most beautiful and most terrifying thing he had ever witnessed. Through all the commotion, he thought he saw the gargantuan shape of a tree, though it might just have been an image in his head. It was too vast to grasp.

His whole being vibrated, from deep in his bones outward through muscle and flesh. Once it felt like just pressure from soundless droning would crack his ribcage inwards, he couldn't breathe, then another time he felt nauseous, light headed and faint, as if he was in a trance like state between ticks of seconds, his breath like a clock. He screamed with all his power, but he couldn't hear it over the droning in his ears, in his bones. He couldn't even communicate his discomfort, couldn't end it.

 

Just when he thought he would become crazy, it was over, he felt air fill his lungs and the familiar pull of gravity. Then there was an impact, not a heavy one, but he heard something crunch under his armoured back, something sounding like gravel when you walked over it. Wind played with his hair and he dared opening his eyes again. He saw blue. Blue! Blue sky as far as the eye could see.When his hearing returned, he could make out another person beside him, gasping for air and rolling on the crunching floor. Something black swam at the edge of his vision, then hair tickled his forehead.

“Tony! Tony, can you hear me!?”

He looked up into the worried face of Loki, his former enemy, now lover, but he looked worried. Why did he look worried? He wanted to say that he's okay, but as he tried to, there only blubbered a mass of liquid out of his mouth.

“Tony, no! Please hold on, I will... Do not move, I will find something- someone- Tony!” Loki looked not only worried, but desperate, all the time touching along Tony's chest. What was he doing? Tony turned his head to the side and saw that they were on the roof of Stark Tower, but somebody had redecorated in his time of absence. He saw a pretty tall dome-like structure atop the tower, mere feet away from where they landed. The construction looked alien, yet also familiar. There was definitely some of his tech built in, the other part looked... Asgardian?

The link... it must be the link that Earth and Asgard, had worked to establish. Seemed like they had made progress and also had the idea to open a new portal where another had once been. Loki seemed to get the same idea. Tony wanted to get up, because he felt dizzy and needed a drink, but Loki pressed him down again. Instead of protesting he spurted out more liquid. That was strange.

“No, Tony, stay with me... your eyes... your eyes are glassy, Tony.”

Tony frowned at his tone and the fact that his hearing got worse again. It sounded like Loki was far away and distorted, even tough he could clearly see the god before him. He looked down on his body and there was a pole, a kind of spear sticking out from his chest plate. Where the blue glow of his reactor should be, he only saw blood spreading over the surface of his suit. Oh, well, that wasn't a good sign.

Loki rummaged around him and he suddenly saw his vision tilting. The god was lifting him up from the ground. He was carried towards the contraption on his roof, then was laid down in its middle, though he didn't really feel that anymore - he just saw the dome above him swimming before his eyes. He suddenly didn't feel Loki's presence anymore, but the structure around him lit up, and then he was there again, holding his face and looking down to him. He was talking, but Tony didn't hear what, only the word 'Asgard', registered in his mind. He didn't hear anything more than his own heartbeat and some kind of static.

The light became blindingly bright, then he felt the pull again. He didn't want to experience that again, it had not been nice the first time around. His face scrunched up and he wanted to voice his unease, but the feeling was gone again. Tony blinked at the sky and saw clouds and stars and a giant golden tower, immensely high, looming over him. For a moment he thought he had died, but Loki came into his field of vision again, as did other people with strange helmets and capes. Tony's vision failed now and then, he felt unconsciousness pull at his senses. He saw how Loki was yanked backwards and out of his line of sight. He wanted to tell them to stop, but couldn't. When he turned his head to the side he only saw boots, so many boots, and fabric and... his head was turned, someone called his name and he knew the voice, but forgot to whom it belonged for the moment.

The last thing he saw was a blur of yellow and bright red, before everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soo... here we go~
> 
> Fun trivia: The feeling Tony experiences during space travel, other than the visual impressions of course, are based on real life experiences seeing Sunn o))) live.
> 
> Many thanks to my lovely Betas:  
> kidforgottenbygod and lokiofasgard (both on tumblr).


	20. Asgard

Tony felt all cosy, he was warm, sleepy, without pain or sorrow, and totally content. He yawned a little and pulled at the smooth sheets that covered his body. The pillow under his head was incredibly soft as he nuzzled his face into it. Tony couldn't remember when he had last felt this good after sleeping. He didn't want to open his eyes, but thought of what he would have to do today. He found, he didn't know. What had happened yesterday then? This, he also didn't know. He frowned and let his hand wander the bed in search of Loki, maybe he could tell him. Loki wasn't there. He made a displeased sound in his throat.

“Friend Tony?” hummed a voice some feet to his left. He knew the voice, it was deep and gravelly and kinda sexy in the way it vibrated through his body. _Thor_ , he remembered. What the hell was Thor doing on the Chitauri's planet?“Are you awake, Tony?”

Tony felt his hand being taken by another larger, warmer hand. For some reason that touch felt intrusive and vile to him. Luckily, the grasp wasn't too strong and he pulled it back quickly. He blinked his eyes open, first only seeing a golden glow around him; then, as his vision cleared, a tall figure sitting next to his bed came into focus.

“Thor?” he asked, very intelligently and stared at the golden prince of Asgard. “What- Where?”

Thor gave him one of his big warm smiles, sitting back in a lush chair next to his bed. The whole room shimmered golden Tony noticed, Thor was not in his battle garb, instead he wore brocade robes in red and gold. He glanced around the room, it seemed to be elliptical and the walls paned with metal in dark silver and warm golden tones. He could hear a fireplace softly crackling somewhere behind him. Through the window at one end of the room, he could only make out a bright sky, though he could see stars in the distance, as if the atmosphere of the planet was thin enough to show the night-sky.

“Fear not my friend, you are in Asgard; and safe. These are the healing chambers of the royal family, I brought you here.”

Ah, right, he had been hurt... Tony's eyes went comically huge and he frantically shoved the sheets aside to look at his chest. He had been dressed in a light tunic in cream and gold colours, and when he pulled it back to look at his chest he saw nothing. _Nothing._ Just a normal, slightly hairy chest. No blue glowing orb. The reactor was _gone_ and there wasn't a gaping hole, there was normal, unscarred skin.

 

Tony heard Thor chuckle and looked at him shocked. “The device in your chest had been broken. A spear had been thrust through it, so our healers removed it.They said they found little pieces of metal in your chest, and they removed them as well.I hope it was nothing of worth?”

Sometimes he forgot how cute Thor was when he just didn't understand Earth-stuff. Or, in this case Tony-stuff. The realization took time, the reactor was gone. The shrapnel was gone. He was whole again, after years of living with his ruin of a chest, he was whole again. W _hole again,_ smooth like a baby. He let go of the tunic and sank back onto the pillow. All this was really hard to grasp, especially with the haze of a long sleep clouding his senses.

“Is there... a problem with that? We have kept the items, as well as your armour; if you want it back, you need only ask.”

Tony turned his head to face Thor and saw his unease, he had to laugh despite himself. By all means someone of Thor's build shouldn't be able to look that much like a sad puppy. “No, no, really it's... it's just new, you know... I lived with that thing in my chest for some years.” He remembered that a few years probably meant nothing to a god. Anyway, he was stunned silent by the revelation. He could live again, normally, like he had before. The question was, did he want that? No, really not, he would stay Iron Man, he would fight baddies all over the place and he would stay faithful to... Loki.

Oh dear lord no! His brain was still too hazy to remember what the reason Loki shouldn't be in Asgard was, though his gut told him it was bad. The memories returned only slowly. Loki, who had brought him here to save his life, he had risked his _own fucking life_ in doing so. He remembered now, their escape, the journey through the improvised portal that apparently had worked, and his near-death experience. He felt his gut clench uncomfortably, something icy settled at the back of his mind.

Loki was exiled from Asgard, he was to be killed on sight should he ever step foot on Asgard again. No. No no no no no no no no...

“Tony, you look unwell, can I-”

“No, Thor, I am fine. But... where is Loki?”

He must have looked properly frightened as he turned his head towards his friend's face, because Thor's eyes widened. Then he looked down at his huge hands, fiddling with the fabric of Tony's bed sheet.

“Loki is...” Thor murmured, unsure.

“Don't tell me he's dead! Don't you fucking dare!” Tony was irritated by his own outburst, as was Thor. He felt his heart beating in his throat, his hands clenched in the sheets. Loki hadn't lived through that whole ordeal with the Chitauri, to be shot like a lame horse when he tried to rescue Tony. He didn't know what he'd do if that was the case.

Thor stared at him bewildered and shook his head. “He is not. I... I stopped the guards from executing him.”

Tony looked at the blonde god and felt the tension in his body ease. He covered his face with his hands and let out something akin to a sob. “Oh thank god, thank god...” He huffed out a breath and finally looked happily at Thor again. “I want to see him!”

 

The look on Thor's face immediately told him that this could be a problem. He was just about to protest when the blonde held up a hand to stall him. “There is something I have to ask you,” he said, looking unsure, but also, as if he thought of what to say.

“When you arrived here through the barely tested link between our realms, 'twas a fortnight ago. Loki, was bent over your form, bleeding, hurt, and demanding a healer be sent for you. I witnessed it with my own eyes, I saw how he cared deeply for you. I had the guards' stay their hand and took Loki to stand before the All Father to answer for his deeds. Our father, has interrogated him and his... story, was most curious. The All-Father decreed that you will speak before the council, and give your account of what transpired to determine if he lied.”

Tony really hoped Loki, hadn't. He could only tell what he knew to be the truth. So he took a moment to settle down and sat up again, leaning against the headboard, propped up by pillows.

He began by telling Thor of his kidnapping in his apartment, months ago, then continued as best as he remembered. He made sure to underline how helpful and important Loki, had been and though he avoided the dirty details, he admitted that they fell in love over time in the end. Tony also, gave Thor a detailed report of the Chitauri's plans to steal a weapon from Asgard.

Thor had gotten misty eyed during his tale and drew him into a hug when he was finished. Tony gaped at him and wasn't sure how to react. He felt tremors wreck his body and panic cutting off his air, so he struggled to get free of the embrace. Thor regained control of himself quickly, luckily, and apologized for his sudden action. Tony still wondered why he reacted that way, when the other managed to get the situation under control again.

“I am touched by your tale Tony, it shows me that he is not as bad a person as people make him out to be. And you even care for him! It makes me very happy to hear this. You have confirmed what he said. I did not think Loki, capable of love anymore, but I see it is the truth.” Then his face darkened and his forehead wrinkled up in a frown. “About the Chitauri, we will have to talk to the All Father. We should move quickly, it is dire news you bring.”

“Wait a moment, big guy, uh... can I see Loki now?” Tony looked him directly in the eyes and tried to convey without words that he wouldn't move a muscle if the answer was 'no'.

Thor looked at him for a moment, face scrunched up into a frown, then smiled at him sadly. “I will speak to the All Father first, he has locked him away, I know not where. But I understand your desire to see him, so once I am aware where he is held, I will bring you there. Rest my friend, you look like you could use it.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

When Thor had said that he would have words with his father, Tony didn't think that it would take him a whole night to do that. He really didn't want to be ungrateful or mean to the nurses who visited him and brought him food, but his mood sank by the hour. In the end they had to give him something so that he would fall asleep, since he couldn't calm down enough for that.

When the golden son of Asgard, entered his chambers in the early morning, he was already awake. Thor looked funny, like he had gotten into a fight, literally. He held himself with grace, but his cape was rumpled, his hair slightly singed, and his face a little dirty around the edges.

“Morning, big guy. You ok?”

The blonde god barked a laugh, he looked as lively as ever. “I had a little dispute with the All Father. Worry not.” Then he looked down and took on a more serious attitude. “Father has... confined Loki, into the shape of a beast. He said that incarcerating him may not have worked since he had already escaped-”

“He hasn't escaped, he was kidnapped.”

“Since, he had already been stolen from Asgard, once,” Thor concluded, shooting dirty looks in Tony's direction. “He is... not willing to let him go, however.”

Tony frowned. “But-” A hand held up by the other stopped him.

“I have discussed this with father. He is willing to hear Loki out on trial tomorrow... should we be able to bring him here.”

“Care to elaborate?” Tony asked, fumbling around his bedsheets.

“He has placed Loki, in an area of the royal hunting grounds. It is a quite large area, but a wall keeps everything in, so we will definitely find him there. But,” at this, his face fell completely. Thor's hand rose for Tony to see, he now was wearing a fancy ring around one finger. “This is an enchanted key for the collars the royal beasts wear, this ring holds three charges. We have three chances at findingLoki among the beasts. If we do not find him before midnight, or if we fail each try... Father will keep Loki, in his new form as recompense... for his interrupted punishment.”

Tony scrambled out of the bed before the other could hold him back and already searched for the door. He was happy to notice that he had been dressed also in trousers, but lacked shoes.

“Got any fancy boots for me?”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

It took them some time to find Tony a pair of shoes, as it turned out all of Asgard's citizens were freakishly tall, but eventually he was happy with some children's boots. When they left the clothing chamber, Tony was jittery and glad to be able to see Loki again, he felt good, better than he had in years. Whatever the healers of this fairytale palace had done to him, it refreshed his spirit and body alike. And he was in love with a man that had put his life on the line to save him. He knew his operation “be Loki's Yinsen”, had been successful.

Thor led him through the huge palace where everything shined golden or was made of polished granite. It dwarfed anything he would find on Earth, man made or natural, something he didn't experience often. He stared in awe at the city that sprawled beyond giant arched windows, the houses and architecture, and the people who in turn stared back at him. He felt like Gandalf riding through Minas Tirith, he only lacked the dramatic film soundtrack to back him up.

Instead of an old white tree and the steward of Gondor, he found stables at the end of their journey. Two horses were made ready to be mounted, and Tony could feel the sweat pooling on his forehead again. He had never ridden a horse.He was a child of the city dammit, he didn't even like animals that were tall enough to spit on his head. However, Thor seemed to sense his reluctance.

“Fear not, these horses are trained and docile. You just need to sit there and let it carry you.” Thor patted his back, which made him flinch yet again. - What the hell was that supposed to mean?- Thor sat on the white one, while a servant led Tony to a pudgy grey horse. He wanted to protest but was hoisted on its back, before a word left his mouth. This touch as well, made him feel squeamish. His horse really looked more like a mule, if that was a good or a bad thing, he didn't know.

“How can it be, that you have space travel, but still ride horses? Is there no other... means of transportation?”

Thor laughed at his comment, but didn't answer, maybe in his eyes Tony had made a jest. The god led his horse out of the yard and Tony's, followed it obediently. Gladly he really didn't have to do anything besides sitting there and letting his balls get squeezed uncomfortably.

Yet again, he did not let it lie. “I was actually being serious, Point Break. Why do you ride horses?”

He got the funny look again, as if Thor was belittling him for his intellect. _Thor_ was belittling _him_. Yeah, that was surely right... “So you think we should ride cars like you do and soil our wonderful fresh air? These beasts are flexible and even useful in battle, why should we change something that worked for thousands of years already?” Well, this shut Tony up.

They rode through a part of the city and into a sinister forest. Even the trees were tall here, he wouldn't believe it if he didn't see it. Thor was idly chatting with him about what he had missed in his months of absence. “Shortly after you had vanished, the Lady Jane was able to contact us and establish a link to our realm, though only for communication. We were able to send information to Earth, that helped your fellow scientists greatly. They discovered your... the thing you built-”

“Arc reactor?” tried Tony helpfully and had to smile as Thor's confused face lit up.

“Yes, the very same. They found it to be sufficient to build a permanent portal. Before you arrived here using the machine, we had only been testing it, never had something living travelled its path. You are a real adventurer!”

Tony laughed uneasily and tried to sit more comfortably on the pudgy horse. He already felt his arse become sore. “Yeah, sorry I can't tell you too much about the experience, I was kinda unconscious at the time.”

Thor nodded. He rode his horse next to Tony's when the path was wide enough to allow it and let his horse walk on its own. “Yes, my friend, when I had seen the video of your kidnapping, I was concerned about your health. Those reptilian creatures are a vicious lot.”

“Well, they kinda were the lesser of two evils”, was Tony's uneasy response. The Chitauri had been nice at first, but he would chose the company of the slavers over theirs' any time. “Uhm, say, since you know now, that the portal works... do you intend to visit Earth more often?”

He got a hearty laugh in response. “Yes, indeed! I feel useful on Earth, and there is ever something to do! You see, the people here have time, they spend their lives in lassitude, but you make the best of your- uh-,” he suddenly stopped, avoiding Tony.

“Of our short lifespan?” Tony asked cockily and grinned at the way Thor shifted uneasily on his horse. “No hard feelings, I'm okay with being mortal.”

The blond god apologized anyway. Then he lightened the mood by explaining how the lady Jane had visited him a week ago and how he was able to show her around and impress her. Tony let him talk, relishing in the news he missed during his absence. On the other hand, it made him realize how estranged he had become in his absence.

 

About two hours later they reached a festive looking hall, embroiled with carvings of 'glorious hunts', as Thor called them. He explained that these were the halls of the hunting grounds which doubled as a reservation for war trained dogs and wolves. They dismounted (well, Tony just slid down from his horse and was lucky not to face-plant onto the ground) and gave their horses to a stall boy who pulled them towards a stable. The few people walking around greeted them friendly, and to Tony's surprise, bowed courteously to them. One would think having Japanese business partners that bowed politely would prepare you for this kind of stuff, but no, it still felt strange.

Thor led him over the yard and through several doors to a meadow. Tony felt exhausted, emotionally and physical and he wanted nothing more than to have Loki back and in his arms, so he could fall asleep peacefully. It was like that in all the fairy tales, wasn't it? The hero would find his polymorphed loved one with the sight of “true love” or something like that and everyone lived happily ever after.

He suddenly bumped into the blonde buff who had stopped in his tracks and now watched the meadow before them. Tony followed his gaze and was stunned to behold the sprawling field of green, dotted with small black spots that roamed its expanse. He identified these dots as wild wolves, pitch black with shining fur, one looking just like the other. He took a minute to admire the sight. The only wolves he knew, were subject to the reports on Discovery Channel he watched as a kid when he played around with his first robots...

Then he snapped out of his daze and frowned deeply. “Thor, say... uh... what beast has your father turned Loki into?”

The big blonde teddy bear sighed unhappily while darting a hand through his precious locks. “Into a wolf.”

_No_... How many wolves were there only on the part of the meadow Tony was able to see? A hundred? A hundred and fifty? And each and every one of them was black as the night!

“So,” he gulped. "Is he going to recognize me?”

“I do not know. Let us see.”

With that he opened the gate and stepped through, waiting for Tony to follow. Once inside, they carefully approached the nearest pack of wolves, that immediately fled, once they were about ten feet away. Oh boy, this was going to be a long day.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

He hated it when he was proven right. Still sore from the long ride, it didn't get better when they were chasing packs of wolves over the grassy planes and through sparse forests. Those little beasts wouldn't let them even come near enough to determine eye colours! At least over the day, he finally saw some wolves that weren't completely and indistinguishably black, but really? The amount of beasts here was ridiculous! No way Asgard needed all those to hunt!

The first try they dared was exercised on an elegant black canine they discovered all by itself in the mountain hills perched on a chalky white boulder. Tony had spotted it while he searched the mountains and it just sat up there so majestically, that he had no doubt this was the beastly incarnation of Loki.

He had called for Thor who then bravely climbed the boulder, coating Tony in a fine layer of dust while struggling upwards. The beast of course had fled and led Thor on a merry chase to which Tony had no problem at all imagining the Benny Hill theme. Up the hill, down the hill, up the hill and down the hill again, grunting, barking and tumbling over the rocky surface. If there was any doubt left as to whether this wolf contained the spirit of Loki, it was now erased. In the end a sweaty Thor, strutted out of the undergrowth manhandling a wildly thrashing wolf that was snapping around to tear itsattacker apart. They managed to wrestle the beast on the ground, so Thor could sit down on it and remove its collar.

They both looked at the creature expectantly. Nothing happened. Thor let go of it after a few minutes and it escaped into the forest it came from as hastily as if the devil himself was chasing it. They sat in the grass for a while staring at the spot where it had disappeared moments ago, both caught in their own thoughts.

“Well then, one down two to go!”, Tony quipped not as cheerfully as he had intended.

Their chase went on, and on, and _on._.. with no end in sight. Tony really didn't like running around in the wild, stumbling over outgrown roots or getting burned by the Asgardian sun out in the open ,wasn't what he had in mind when Thor said they needed to find Loki. He felt like he had been pulled through a hedge backwards and then dumped in a meat mincer. Still, there was no sign of Loki.

That was until a dark grey animal, crossed Tony's path shortly after lunch. It stepped out of an island of bushes off to Tony's left and froze in place to stare at him. Not daring to move he just stared back, but the creature wouldn't budge. It watched him. He decided to give it a try and draw closer towards near the pretty thing with the creepy glare. Hopefully it was Loki recognizing him and not a wild wolf, happy to see his meal of the day. When he neared, the wolf still did not run away. He was close enough to make out the colour of its eyes: green. A warm smile graced his lips.

“Hey, dear... took you long enough to find me, didn't it.” At arms length he dropped down to one knee and slowly, carefully reached out his hand towards Loki. Now it came closer, every bit as careful as himself, to nose at his hand. Somewhere behind him, he heard rustling, then a rumbling laugh. “So he remembers you? What a glad turn of events.”

Thor neared slowly, let himself down into the grass next to them. Tony meanwhile was idly stroking the smooth fur, and Loki let him, even closing his eyes in content a little. He even let Thor stroke along his side once.

Eventually he reached for the collar the wolf was wearing and pulled it off with a warm smile on his face.

And again, nothing happened.

 

“M- maybe the change needs time? I mean, the magic has to first work its way?” Tony searched Thor's face which was scrunched up in disappointment, the bright blue eyes heavy and tired, the shoulders slumped. He looked like Tony felt. The wolf stayed with them for a while, then for whatever reason, decided to leave them, returning to its hide, his family, or whatever. Two out of three tries gone now, and they weren't even near a conclusion. Both wolves had seemed to behave or look like Loki... Maybe that was the trick? Look for a blonde wolf, or a white one even? A lazy, ugly thing of an animal? It could be a trick of Odin's!

They sat slumped for a while longer, not feeling ready to keep going. The time was running through their hands. What were they supposed to do, discuss tactics? Wait for a miracle? Run back to daddy Odin, and plead for him to just release the trickster, so they could live their happily ever after?

“Let us continue then. We will find him Tony, I am sure of it.”

Thor patted him on his shoulder, -which he still flinched away from- before pulling him up to his legs again. “Yep. On we go. Whee.”

They were careful then, each searching on their own, but calling for the other when they thought they had found a wolf that somehow seemed to have a connection to Loki. There wasn't room for failure any more, their last guess had to be it. Twice, they discovered wolves that seemed to be perfect. They had cornered the first one near another boulder, but when Thor was fumbling through its long white fur, searching for its collar, Tony stopped him. “No... no, this isn't him. Leave the collar.” Thor had just looked at him and nodded.

 

The second one, was found by the god himself, it hadn't fled, but attacked the Odinson, bitting hard into his biceps and fighting gracefully until he was subdued. Again they were already groping for the collar, when Tony got that dreaded feeling of ice in his stomach again and told Thor to stop. It didn't feel right. They had to search on.

At the back of his mind he was worried that this feeling would now overcome him every time they would see a wolf and try to lift the curse. The decision was too important. And it wasn't like there had been anything wrong with their choices so far, each would have been a reasonable form for Loki... but in the end they weren't.

They still had until midnight to make the right choice. Maybe the last, desperate attempt five minutes before midnight would do the magic trick, and turn out to be the right one. There wasn't much hope left in Tony though.

 

A few hours later one particularly cheeky wolf had made Tony chase him through a small creek, a fact that had convinced him it just had to be the trickster, when he felt a gentle hand on his shoulder. He turned around just to come face to face with the resident God of Thunder.

“Tony, the sun will soon touch the horizon. We should seek shelter for the night.”

Slowly nodding, he shouldered his water-skin and followed his blonde guide out of the woods and over a small part of the meadow towards a small wooden cabin that sat peacefully in the green hills. On their way there, Tony eagerly searched left and right, plenty of wolves around all somehow elegant, majestic, cheeky... and all to risky to try.

Thor started a fire in the cabin's small stone stove to cook them supper and keep warm for the night. He didn't complain, but Tony saw how exhausted he was. The usually cheerful god, was grumpy and aloof today. Tony watched him a while, darting around in the soup bowl with a stick for a while. It felt like they wasted time. Valuable time they could spend outside searching for Loki.

Then again... the anxiety.

 

Tony turned away from the pitiful sight Thor was making, and sat down before a window to blink back tears, a cup of warm tea in hand. He had a breath taking view of the meadow coloured in shining golden evening sunlight. And he had no eyes for it. The few wolves he could make out chased their long shadows across the grass playful and excited. They looked wild and free as they roamed the expanse of their land. Maybe the life as a wolf wasn't so bad, maybe Loki liked it.

The first loud sob tore itself from his throat, when the giant looking orb of light touched the horizon and coloured everything in reds and golds. Tony tried to stifle his outburst, but Thor had noticed right away.

“You must not give up hope, my friend. We will find him. We will dine, and then go out searching with fresh spirits.” He felt a hand creep up on his shoulder but shook it from him. He didn't want to be touched. It felt bad to be touched, dirty and forced. And it made him cry even harder.

All those bottled up feelings that had formed a knot in his gut since his kidnapping from Stark Tower, burst out of him. He hid his face in his arms, huffing warm breath against the cool window pane.

Thor stood behind Tony and watched utterly helpless. He wanted to help, but had no idea how. Tony didn't want him to feel bad, he had done nothing wrong, but there was no solace for others left, now that his feelings finally burst out of him.

The gross sobbing finally meandered out into quiet hiccups mixed with silent tears and he just stared into the distance. Thor had taken his seat by the pot of soup again a while ago, realizing there was nothing he could do for Tony. He probably had his own sorrows right now.

The last rays of sunlight enveloped the landscape outside. Tony waited for their supper to finish cooking. Out of the corner of his eye he watched the wolves, now sparse and slow, preparing for the night. The last big pack had strolled out of his view when he heard Thor place some dishes on the small wooden table.

 

Tony wiped his face and his itching eyes without any leisure. His fingers dragged wet trails down his face. He stood up and wiped at the window's glass to rid it of the haze his breathing had caused. Outside between the hills of the plane, moved a wolf slowly through the scene. Tony wouldn't have spared him a second glance, if it wasn't for its strange movement. It looked thin and sick and somehow exhausted. It was probably an elder wolf taking its last steps to wherever it deemed fit dying. It hobbled clumsily through the grass, head hanging low and looking around confused. Sometimes it stopped to lick at its right paw.

The cup Tony wanted to place on the desk next to him fell to the ground with a shattering sound, deafening in the silence of the cabin. Thor almost jumped up from his place, completely in fight stance, ready to swing his fists. Tony realized that Thor was barking questions of what this was all about, but he ignored him. He only had eyes for the wolf. It was limping. Its left hind leg had a distinct limp to it and _it licked its right paw._

“I found him, Thor! Holy shit, I found Loki!”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's Tony, new and shiny. Just a little bid weird inside ;)
> 
> Many thanks to my lovely Betas:  
> kidforgottenbygod and lokiofasgard (both on tumblr).


	21. Reunion

They were out of the door in no time running towards the wolf. This had to be Loki there was no doubt whatsoever. Would he recognize him? Would he fight them? He didn't know, all he knew was that they had found him, and that everything would be okay.

Only reality didn't normally work that way. As soon as the wolf saw them it bared its teeth and growled before turning around and fleeing with surprising speed from them.

“Ey! No, Stop!” Tony yelled, immediately afterwards face-palming at his own behaviour. He was so totally out of it that his mind didn't even function anymore. In all probability he too would have fled if he were a wolf, and there were two loud and desperate people running towards him as fast as their legs would carry them. On second thought, maybe, he would even have fled if he wasn't a wolf.

The beast was still limping, but it now harboured enough panic to give its all and everything, to get away from them. It luckily wasn't as fast as the healthier wolves, the immediate threat made it desperate though.

 

Tony felt the cool evening air burn in his lungs, his heart beating so fast and hard that he worried it would burst. He hadn't burdened the muscle this much since his accident due to the shrapnel being a constant threat lingering at the back of his mind... Here's hoping that the healers here had managed to get him completely functional again. Despite these efforts, though, he reached his limits quickly the chase going on for several minutes now over rocks, boulders, grass, and now through a forest that grew darker by the moment. The black animal blended into the scenery perfectly now and the lower the sun sank, the harder it would be to find it.

Thor had to wait for him a few times now, his legs burned and quivered under him, but still were not up to do the task any longer. The blond buff threw him worried looks over his shoulder, of course he was faster and he could probably run for hours, but he waited for Tony. That was, until he fell the first time. Tony had known in the afternoon already that one of these jutting roots would be his doom at some point. He landed face first on the ground and rolled through heaps of fallen leaves and dirt. Several feet in front of him Thor stopped. “Tony, are you hurt?”

“Ngh, not badly... I'll get over it,” he pressed out between heaving breaths gesturing for Thor to get on with it, but the blond still had concerns.

“Are you truly sure that it is my brother we chase here?”

“A hundred percent, buddy. It's him.”

He was struggling to get to his feet again, always expecting a helping (though unwanted) hand on his shoulder every minute along the way. Only it didn't come. When he looked up in Thor's direction he just saw the quickly retreating back of the god continuing the chase. Well shit, alone in the forest, but it was probably their only chance to get Loki.

 

Since his part of the chase came to an abrupt end, he had stopped trying to keep up with Thor; instead, he leant against the tree he had fallen next to and searched for any lasting damage the fall might have caused. Happy to find none but scratches and bruises. It took him nearly ten minutes to catch his breath properly. By the time he stood up and brushed the dirt off of himself the sun was only barely visible over the mountains in the distance. The forest he was in had become dark and creepy. His anxiety was also not helping the situation. Days ago there had only been him and Loki and now there was this whole wide world, filled with _people_ and _things-_ he fought the knot that closed off his throat down, and forced his mind to stop thinking about it.

 

He slowly walked in the direction he had seen Thor take off, not bothering to call for him just yet. Tony just hoped that he would manage to find and catch Loki before it was too late. Several minutes of quiet walking and strange animal noises later gave him the eerie feeling that he was being watched.

In horror films this was the moment right before the killer would strike him down, just as he turned around to look who was following him. He resisted the urge to do so and sped up his step, with his luck, he would only end up falling again in the unruly undergrowth. His tactic of calm strutting was interrupted however, he didn't dare stop, there was now the distinct sound of breathing somewhere behind him and he was certain it wasn't his mind playing tricks on him. Okay, not cool anymore; so. not. cool.

“THOR! Can you hear me?!” he yelled, wincing at his voice echoing in the dark forest. Behind him there was rustling. He received no answer even after several minutes there was nothing... Very well then, he steeled himself and broke off a branch from the nearest tree, then swirled around to face his pursuer - or _pursuers_.

He saw three wolves mere feet away from him and several more were in the shadows behind those. Their eyes gleamed in the fading light. Yes great. Very great. He waved the branch in front of him to shoo them away, but they only ever retreated a few steps before closing in again. Then he heard a faint yell of his name.

“Tony! Follow my voice, Tony!”

Thor! That was most definitely Thor. He dropped his tactic as well as his branch and took off to where he thought Thor was. “THOR! Keep yelling, I'm on my way!” _Don't panic Tony, everything is cool... they can smell fear, you're so totally cool it's icy already... Fine then, panic, panic, just keep on running!_

For being in his best years, he certainly wasn't as much of a slouch as most people thought. He was sure that the wolves weren't really giving their best yet, but he ran anyway, always following Thor's voice. He neared him, he could hear it, he sounded much closer already. The wolves seemed to realize this as well now, he could feel something snapping for his ankle every once in a while.

 

Finally, he broke out of the forest and onto a clearing cut in half by a small creek. Tony looked up and saw Thor sitting next to a mass of black fur on the ground next to him right on the other side of the creek. A growling noise behind him and the snapping sound again paired with a wind right next to his food, then the metallic drone of Mjölnir flying by him and closely after the whimpering of a wolf.

“Ey, that was pretty close, bud!” he yelled, half panicked and half laughing while he ran through the creek and joined Thor and Loki on the other side. The hammer returned to the Thunderer's hand, the remaining wolves apparently not daring to cross the creek to get to them. Tony let himself fall into the dirt next to Thor, where he saw that the other had wrestled the beast into submission and was now holding it by its collar. The wolf was panting harshly and drooled on the rocky floor beneath its jaws, pressed to the floor by Thor's might.

“Are you well, Anthony?” inquired Thor, reaching out to touch Tony but thinking better of it and pulling his hand back.

“I'm fine, I'm fine... you caught him...” he gasped. He stretched his hand towards the wolf and brushed through its clotted fur. The creature looked at him with fear in its eyes. “Shh.. we're here, Loki, don't you worry.”

 

He nodded at Thor, who then proceeded to fumble around the collar after waiting a moment, should Tony decide otherwise. He didn't. The dreadful feeling he had with the other wolves was gone now, he was sure to have found the right one here. Even if his nerves thrilled a little at the sound of Thor opening the collar, he didn't stop him.

Then nothing happened. He felt the distinct urge to face the sky and scream in rage, when there was movement under his hand. The wolf next to them whined lowly, it looked as if something moved under it's fur. Its legs stretches and snout retreated. Once the wolf looked up at Tony with definitely human green eyes, he felt his face split into a smile. It was a slow and weird process, a thing right out of a horror film, as the wolf, bit by bit regained the human shape converting fur to pale skin and losing the canine features.Tony was happy to note that the his latest injuries had healed seamlessly despite being caught in the form of a wolf.

Thor pulled back a little once Loki laid naked before them breathing heavily and flinching every time his brother tried to touch him. The look he gave Tony promised a questioning later as to why they both had aversions to being touched by him, though, with Loki that should have been the case for a while now and he didn't press the matter.

Loki looked up to them and his face became bright and hopeful once he saw who sat there. Something was painted on his lips, a rune or symbol Tony didn't recognize. Loki swallowed a few times and took some time to orient himself, before locking his gaze on Tony. Then he pushed himself up and firmly wrapped his arms around Tony. Then he held him at arms length to examine him closely, before pulling him close again and lathering slim lipped kisses all over his forehead.

“Hey, Lolo,” he smiled warmly. He did not get an answer, but his lover was nodding his head and smiled back at him. His eyes were searching Tony from head to toe again, cataloguing everything and checking if he was wounded. Tony pulled the front of his tunic open to show him his healed chest. Loki's eyes went wide and looked up into his face. “I'm fine with it. Don't worry.”

 

Thor behind him pulled open the pouch he had with him. “He can not answer you, the rune drawn on his lips silences him.”

He then rummaged around in the small space and brought forth a handkerchief and a small bottle of brown liquid. He doused the fabric in it and gave it to Tony, gesturing towards Loki's lips. Tony quickly understood and wiped the substance over the paint, or whatever it was, ridding his lover from it. Once it was gone, Loki licked his lips and used the new found freedom of his mouth to kiss Tony passionately. When he pulled away it was only inches apart, foreheads still touching.

“Are you well, my love?” Loki asked with a soft voice, stroking along his cheek all the time.

Something in Tony broke loose then. If the crying fit he had had in the cabin had been a shower of rain, this now, became full on monsoon, quickly turning into gross sobbing and unmanly wailing. Everything came crashing down on him at once, the relieve of having his lover back, being free, the exhaustion of the day, the pressure of being among _people_ again suddenly... the terrible pressure of working for the Chitauri had finally lifted from his shoulders. He couldn't even say if he was crying out of anger, sorrow or joy at the moment. All that mattered was that he sat here in Loki's arms being rocked gently from side to side.

 

 

* * *

 

 

If he was asked about the crying incident in the future, he would straight on deny that it happened at all, let alone that it took Thor and Loki, over half an hour to calm him down again. At least he was now comfortably sitting in Loki's lap, sipping the cold and badly burned soup he and Thor had left behind in their chase for the wolf, feeling content and empty. It didn't bother Tony that Loki was still naked except for Thor's cape that was wrapped around his shoulders and by extension half around himself. His lover was nuzzling his cheek all the time, while warming up before the cosy fire in the cabin.

Thor took it all in stride, for all of Tony's worries that he would get a big fucking hammer to the face once Blondie found out about him and his little brother the few and far between curious looks he gave them were actually really easy to endure. The companionable silence stretched on for a long time now, Thor and Tony slurping spoonful by spoonful of the ruined soup while Loki was quietly munching on a piece of hard bread while seemingly being glued to Tony chest to back. He was fine with that though.

“It is nice to see you so happy, brother,” Thor suddenly said from his place a few feet away. He looked out of the window and was fiddling with something in his bag. Tony felt how Loki slowly turned his head towards his brother and waited if he would say something else. It must be hard to be Thor right now, seeing as Loki was so easily interacting with Tony and shrugging off every attempt Thor himself took to get near him. Which had not changed, apparently. Loki didn't even talk to him.

 

Eventually, Thor pulled out a chain connecting dark steel manacles out of his bag and held them before his face. “Father gave me these to place on you, so we could be sure you stayed with us in the cabin. It occurs to me, that you will remain here as long as Anthony is here, so,” he looked at them now, a lopsided smile on his lips. “I take it we all agree that, if father asks tomorrow, you wore them the whole night.”

With that he hurled the chains into a corner of the cabin and stood up from his stool to sit nearer to them on the bench. On his way there he looked at them intently, and Tony felt how Loki inclined his head in silent thanks. The smile that action provoked from Thor made his heart ache a little.

To ease the resulting tension, Tony put down his half-untouched cup of soup and turned his head to kiss Loki's cheek. “You know...” he started carefully, fumbling for Loki's hands and entwining their fingers. “That was actually kinda stupid. I mean, you could have died brining me here. I am not okay with that.”

Loki behind him chuckled darkly. “It was worth it. The healers did a fine job with your wound. I thought I had lost you.”

“It was the right thing to do. Dying for ones loved one, is honourable and a sign of a true heart,” Thor chimed in. He got weird looks from both of them. Tony knew enough of their culture to know what he meant, but hearing someone actually endorsing in the self sacrifice of his own brother was... something different.

“You know I care not about honour or what little I have left of it. I have done it for purely egoistical reasons,” Loki said with a sharp gaze at Thor, who totally took the bait and caught breath for his righteous answer.

“Please, Loki, Thor... for whatever reason he did it, the outcome is the same, meaning I'm alive and I'm actually happy about that, okay? For all I care, he could have done it to steal my pants while I was out. I'm alive, he's alive and you.. well you are alive too, Blondie.” He winked at Thor while Loki rolled his eyes. But his intervention had the desired effect: Thor let it lie and they didn't launch into a long and tiring debate.

The blonde god sighed and stood up again. Whether he decided that a normal conversation wasn't possible at this point, or that he was too tired to deal with this now, Tony didn't know. “We should rest for the night, Father has arranged an audience for tomorrow. I bid you good night.” With that he turned towards the door separating the cabin's main room from one of the bedrooms. He didn't turn back.

 

“One thing tough”, Tony began, not having quenched his thirst for knowledge yet. “How is it to be a wolf?”

Loki considered him for a moment, deadpan. “It is... very simple. No memories, no sorrow... Sleep, eat, try not to get eaten, and sleep again.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

He couldn't find sleep immediately, the exhaustion of the day got blown away by his joy and confusion of having his life back. Tony, used the time to tell Loki the news that Thor had delivered to him on their way here, wanting to fill the silence. Loki was weary and did not talk much, but he conveyed his feelings with his body just as they had done on the slave ship all that time ago. It felt like years to Tony, although he knew that it had only been months.

He rambled about how he would use the freshly established link to Earth to take Loki home with him, how he would get his own floor, but was obligated to sleep in Tony's bedroom, how he would get along fine with Pepper, because they both liked to dress impeccably in public, and how they could revolutionize Earth-science with their knowledge. The god seemed content with what he was saying, a smile played over his lips all the time.

It was probably not his greatest idea to start fumbling around when he was out of info to talk about, but he tried none the less. Even though Loki was half asleep already, he still tried to humour him, but half an hour of awkward groping later Tony was only half-hard and Loki boneless with exhaustion, so they settled on cuddling instead.

“Sorry, this usually works,” mocked Tony, resting his head atop Loki's chest and absent-mindedly stroking his side. The god only ginned and hummed while stroking Tony's hair.

“You know... performance issues. Four out of five people who are hunted down in the woods and balefully polymorphed experience these.”

Tony chuckled into his chest and slowly closed his eyes. After a moment of silence, however, he spoke up again. “It's weird, y'know. All the time I wished to be among people and friends again, but now... I can't stand the people. I don't know how to feel about this.”

“You are estranged,” mumbled Loki, cryptically. He ceased his stroking and went still, ready for sleep.

“But, like, it's different with you around,” he again tried to start the conversation, not knowing what he really aimed at.

“I am estranged with you,” was the simple answer he got. And it sounded damn final to Tony. He waited a while until Loki's breathing evened out. But he laid awake for quite a while longer, a feeling of dread he couldn't quite put his finger on tightening his stomach.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Early in the morning, Tony looked up when he heard the door to their room open, and watched Thor enter with sleepy eyes. It was way too early for his taste, but the sooner they got this day done, the sooner he would be able to return to Earth. That was his mantra now. The blond god looked at them, cuddled close together on the small bed and smiled awkwardly, rather watching the world outside the window from then on. Loki next to him stirred then.

“Good morrow, Tony, brother. Please come with me, we must talk.” He gestured to Tony that he should step into the main room of the cabin to take a seat at the breakfast table. Thor, waited until Tony, had separated himself from his brother, crawling out of bed and waiting by the door, watching the two gods.

“I really hope you have something like coffee here.” To his dismay they ignored him and murmured something he didn't quite catch, only Loki's eye-roll and a spit out “later”, reached his ears. The brothers stood up together, Thor waiting for Loki to limp out of the room, then following him out into the main room. Thor had prepared a simple breakfast for three, and Tony was actually really thankful for that, though no coffee was in sight.

They sat in silence for a while, tension filling the air, but none daring to speak yet. Tony was too sleepy for that shit now. What he wasn't too tired for, however, was being inappropriately cuddly and sweet with Loki at the table, just to get _some_ kind of reaction out of Thor. It irked him that the guy had just so accepted him being with his beloved baby brother.

 

When even crawling onto Loki's lap and giving him sloppy open mouthed kisses provoked no reaction, he finally lost it. “Wait, is homosexuality not a problem for you guys? I mean, from what little I know of Viking culture...”, he insinuated a continuation he hadn't thought about yet, just hoped one of them would react.

To his surprise Thor just shrugged. “To be honest, you are pretty boring in contrast to the... _people_ my brother has lain with.”

Loki just snorted and shoved a piece of bread in his mouth. “You still think you know the worst, do you not, Thor?”

“Ey, have you just called me boring?”

“I sincerely hope that I _do_ know your worst, brother.”

“Ah, your poor virgin mind, Thor...”

“Never in my whole life, has anyone ever called me boring! 'cause I'm not!”

“My mind is not-!”

“Well yes, it is akin to the mind of a big oafish child.”

“Helloooho, do you even hear me?!”

They dropped their little brotherly scuffle afterwards. When did they even start talking to one another again? Loki smiled thinly and shook his head. “Do not concern yourself. It is a common practise for men to claim enemies they conquered, therefore, the... passive party might feel a little weird about the matter, but he is not scorned. On the other hand, we are talking about _me_ here – you know, the deity, rumours tell that I have lain with horses, and ate people to bear children. It comes with the territory of being a trickster. By all accounts, people will only wonder why you do not have, two heads and a handful of tentacles.”

“You live freely if you haven't a reputation to lose, right?” Tony laughed heartily and saw that Loki didn't mind.

“Exactly.”

“Wait, you've eaten people?”

“I have _not_ eaten anyone, 'tis but a rumour!”

 

Thor cleared his throat and gestured towards Tony to take some food, actively interrupting them. “I have spoken to the All-father yesterday. About what you said of the Chitauri's plans.” Shoving a handful of bread into his mouth, Tony, looked at the god and shrugged.

He chewed patiently and drank a sip of water, before answering: “Yeah, I can tell him what I told you, if he wants. Lokes here can help also.”

The god of mischief smiled at Tony's words, then looked at Thor with a cheeky grin. “That was not the only thing you talked about, was it?”

The blond's face darkened slightly and he avoided their eyes. “No, now that we know you did neither lie about your whereabouts, nor escaped willingly, your execution order is off the table for now. Your Sentence, however, is not.”

“Ah, yes, the millennium in prison. How could I forget.” Loki sounded resigned, though not overly sad. He helped himself to some pieces of bread and meat, obviously enjoying the food, simple as it was.

Tony, however, was not okay with that. “Millennium in prison? Uh, kinda inconvenient, if I might say so?” The look he got from his lover cut him off, though. Thor also fumbled around uneasily. “Wait, you can't accept that, can you? Loki!”

“Keep calm, please. We will have to talk to Odin.”Loki bent down to kiss the side of his face Thor, couldn't see and nudged him intently with his nose. He seemed to have a plan. Tony frowned and pouted but let it lie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slowly getting to the end of the story. Thanks for reading!
> 
> And many thanks to my lovely beta: kidforgottenbygod


	22. Long live the King

After their meal, Thor retrieved the chains he had flung into the room's corner the night before and chained Loki's hands behind his back. Since his lover didn't protest, he guessed they had already talked about this. It felt wrong to see the god in chains again, but it probably wasn't a good idea to piss off the Alldaddy. Thor had also stripped off the shirt he wore under his armour and given it to Loki, and then they showed off their design skills by artistically wrapping Loki's lower half with the red cape so that his modesty was preserved at least a little. With the much too big shirt and the improvised cape, he looked a little like a crazy hippie to Tony. Sadly, this reference was met with confusion from both gods.

They marched outside to return to the hunting hall and their horses. A third one was prepared for Loki, and Tony admired how he was able to balance on a horse and steer it with only his legs for leverage. He was uncharacteristically timid though, if that was because of the chains' presence or the coming audience with the king, he didn't know.

The ride back was not at all more pleasant than it was the first time around. Tony just desperately hoped his maltreated genitals would forgive him for the treatment.

 

It was midday, when they reached the outskirts of the city, and even later when they finally dismounted and entered the palace. People were throwing them curious looks from all over the place.

Tony let his hands rest around the small of Loki's back holding his hand easily. He felt nervous - with his luck and general hate for authority, this could go south very quickly. Loki stroked the back of his hand soothingly, and he was grateful for that. An assortment of guards awaited them at the entrance, and didn't leave their side until they were situated before the door to the throne room. Tony hadn't seen this room yet, and if the giant doors were any indication, it was going to be big.

 

Well, he was not wrong. The doors opened and revealed a hall so big, Tony didn't have words for it. Aside from a few guards and the king, they were all alone. It had to be the size of a town as far as Tony was thinking. Large banners were hanging from the ceiling and he could see the city through huge arcs to the side. In its middle was an elliptical area surrounded by golden pillars, it sported a pedestal on which sat a throne. No, not _a_ throne, from the looks of it it was The Throne, in capitals; because no matter what other thrones there may be, this was the definitive one.

Tony felt his eyes widen while he numbly stepped forward with the two gods, feeling horribly underdressed in his dirty clothes. When they neared The Throne, he saw a figure sitting on it regal and stoic. The person radiated the same air of authority Thanos did, if that was a good or a bad thing he didn't know. Probably bad, Tony already felt his throat constrict.

 

Stepping closer and closer to The Throne, he was able to make out more detail. The deity awaiting them wore a tunic and armour in silver and gold, a helmet almost as ridiculous as Loki's own sat beside his hand on the armrest. Two ravens cawed at them from their perch atop a construction that was part of The Throne, but other than looking pretty, seemed to have no relevance. Tony had been afraid that this king before him, would intimidate him and act like Thanos no.2, but he actually had to fight down a laugh when he saw the eyepatch. It reminded him of Fury, and how these one-eyed people seemed to have bad luck in having to deal with him.

Thor sank down to one knee, while Loki remained standing defiantly. Tony watched, as two guards stepped next to him and pushed him to the floor, forcing him kneel. They turned to Tony, but the engineer held up his hands in peace and knelt voluntarily. The king waited until the guards were back at their respective places, then let his gaze wander over the three men before him.

“Thor, my first-born son, and Anthony Stark... rise.”

The look Loki threw his 'father' at that was mean and mocking. Tony remembered their exchange about Loki's family and his opinion of them. It was pretty clear, that their little loving adventure hadn't done anything to improve Loki's opinion. But he also remembered that Loki had a plan, that he was hopefully not risking out of a need for revenge. For the moment, his lover remained on his knees, if unwillingly.

“Anthony Stark, my son has told me of your ordeal at the hands of the Chitauri. He told me you were able to overhear a plan that directly concerned the safety of my kingdom. Please, tell me of what you know.”

The god's eye was intently staring at him and Tony was very proud that he didn't budge. “Well, I dunno too much, but they want an artefact out of your vault. Pretty powerful one; no clue what it is they want, but judging by the guy who wants it, it must be pretty darn important.”

The big one nodded slowly, but apparently wasn't finished yet. “Who is it you speak of? I believe there to be someone behind the Chitauri.”

_Yeah, because I just said that, genius._ Tony smiled impeccably, though not all too friendly up at the deity. “His name is Thanos, big, purple guy, with blue glowy eyes and with extra chin-wrinkles. As I see it, he's kind of the king of the Chitauri, what with having servants and armies at his disposal and all.”

“Chin wrinkles?” Odin asked flatly, which had Tony holding back laughter. Yep, just likeFury this guy. A smile must have played on his lips, since the disapproving eye of the king now rested upon him; though he seemed to come to the conclusion that Tony wasn't worth the trouble. This air of aloofness he was radiating anyway just grew thicker by the minute. He immediately felt intimidated by the presence before him. Something he had hoped to never experience again after his little dinner with Thanos...

“Yeah, the whole jaw is all wrinkly and, well, purple,” he tried to explain again, wondering shortly, if he would have to draw an example. Thor next to him also frowned, murmuring something sounding like “Skrulls”. What the hell was 'Skrulls'? He looked around between them, feeling ignored for the moment.

Odin considered Thor for a while, before dismissing the thought. “Impossible to tell. And of no matter in the end. We will have to prepare for a strike any way.”

 

The room went silent as he watched Thor, and his father share a look, after which Thor nodded. Then the attention was back on him.“Anthony, my time is precious this day, there are preparations to make for a war. I bid you answer quickly, and as direct as you may. Were you able to overhear parts of their plan? When or where they would strike?”

This was a tricky question. He had to think of ways to answer without getting Loki, into any deeper shit than he was already in.

“Uh, you see.. they kinda only talked about that artefact, it's not like I needed the information from them, so they didn't enlighten me...” He felt small and stupid then. He didn't know a whole lot anyway. Odin's obviously bad mood was doing nothing to make him feel better.

“Then what can you tell me about their military structure? Their weapons?”

“They, uhm. They have officers and footsoldiers and... flying... things...” Tony bit his lip unconsciously, feeling like a boy being scolded. Which was stupid. Odin was a king, but he was not _his_ king! “Look, all I know is that they have a warship that will be able to fly here. They have no nuclear missiles on board, and they want something out of your fucking vault. I don't know what!”

The vast hall fell silent for a minute. He was defiantly staring at Odin, who was looking back at him with tranquil fury. Thor besides him hissed things he should say to apologize, to rescue the situation, but he was having none of that. He didn't want to be treated like a petulant child by this guy, no matter who or what he was. It was probably not a good idea and he was jeopardizing Loki's fate, but at this moment he could not act any differently. His fast-beating heart and the lump in his throat were bad enough already - he didn't need to feel like a child on top of it all.

“Do not speak to me like that again, mortal. Thor tells me, that you are an honourable warrior and a friend, I hoped you would prove your worth in this matter.”

“I don't have to prove my so-called worth here to anyone, okay! I am here voluntarily, warning you of imminent danger, and you keep belittling me!” he yelled, shocked by his own boldness and simultaneously shivering in anger and fear.

“They will not strike, not when they can find an opportunity to get into the vault unnoticed. They will also try to access the trophy room directly. If they find no direct way, they will try the entrance behind the throne,” Loki's calm voice filled the tense silence suddenly, protecting Tony from the All father's incoming wrath.

 

All attention in the room shifted to Loki, who was gazing at the floor and kneeling leisurely. He looked by all accounts as if he didn't care. Out of the corner of his eye, Tony saw Odin sinking back in his throne. Instead of addressing Loki though, Odin turned to Tony again. “Can you confirm this, Anthony Stark?”

He didn't know how to react, so he only nodded. Where was this going? Odin turned towards Loki again, looking curious. “So, they know of the secret entrance to the vault? They know where to look exactly? How?” The look Odin threw Loki was less curious and much, much more intimidating than it had any right to be.

Loki still kept his gaze locked on the floor, fiddling with his fingers behind his back. Though besides these small signs of nervousness, he seemed relaxed, giddy even. “They... I had told them before. During our alliance.” Tony felt his throat constrict. Hopefully Loki knew what he was doing.

Odin was having none of it. “Speak clearly and stop twisting your words, Loki! Did you tell them of the vault before the invasion of Earth, or after? And what is it they seek? Do. Not. Lie.”

Thor's cape rustled as he moved uneasily from one leg to the other, Tony felt ice cold sweat break out all over his back. Loki just sat there and bit his lip. A bystander might have thought it was in fear, but...It was Loki, just hiding his smile. What the hell was he thinking?!

“I believe it is the Infinity Gauntlet, the Titan seeks.”

“The Titan?! The Chitauri's leader is of the Titans?” Thor burst out, immediately turning towards his father. “We must make haste, father, our army-”

“SILENCE!” Odin boomed, red faced and obviously angry. That his voice was soft and very, very low when he spoke again didn't make the situation better one bit. “Look at me, Loki. _When_ did you tell them how to access the vault?”

Loki looked up at his adoptive father, seeing how he was perched on the throne like a tiger ready to strike, and not one bit less threatening. “Just recently.”

What happened now, Tony could only describe as Odin, completely losing his shit. It might have been funny were the situation not so... delicate.

 

“Loki, that is TREASON! I was lucky to convince the court to drop your execution order the last time it came up. But you still- You are making this very difficult, are you aware of that? Betraying Asgard, not once, but TWICE. What were you _thinking_? _No_ royal blood or family connection, is rescuing your life once the court finds out that you betrayed your king and kingdom _again_!” Heavy breathing followed, it was the only sound in the wide hall. Tony could feel his heartbeat in the tips of his fingers, and he thought he saw Thor's forehead beading sweat out of the corner of his eye. When Odin spoke again, he seemed to have calmed down, rubbing at his wrinkly forehead with a twitchy hand.

“It pains me to see you suffer, but even my means have an end. I see no way to avoid your execution any more, my son. Are you tired of your life Loki? So tired, that you would ruin any chance of redemption?”

“Anthony Stark has granted me sanctuary in his home,” Loki said matter-of-factly, his face was serious, but his eyes sparkling impishly.

An awkward pause ensued, everyone was holding their breath. The attention was still on Loki, who still didn't look concerned.

 

Almost comically slow, Odin, turned from his wayward son towards Tony. His voice shivered darkly. “Is that so, Anthony Stark?” he asked, eyebrow raised and open surprise on his face. But there was something else, too... pity maybe? Also, some of the guards looked sadly at him. It took him a moment to decipher the sentiment, but in the end it was clear what they thought. They all believed Loki had tricked him. Had he?

“Y-yes. I said I would take him in, if he wanted.” He was actually pretty sure that he knew Loki quite well after their ordeal, but the dread that had lodged itself in his chest some days ago just got that tiny bit tighter than before.

“I am afraid your knightly intentions were abused. My sympathies.” Odin leant back on his throne and looked down at Loki. “It saddens me to hear of this, Loki. Thor said you had changed, but I see it is not so. Not only do you play with the feelings of innocent mortals, but you brought war to the gates of Asgard, with your actions.”

 

Tony couldn't take it anymore. He felt left out. He wasn't sure what exactly was going on here, but there was no turning back now. Loki would have to answer his questions later, though. “He did, but only to save _me_!” Now all those dreadful eyes were on him again, great. “I mean, they tortured me to make him talk! And other than that, he wasn't really helpful to them.”

Odin seemed surprised. That guy changed moods like some people underwear- it was fascinating. “Why would they use _you_ to make him talk?” Ah, so Santa over there wasn't informed about them yet. Yays.

“Because... he likes me, obviously. Do you really think him without compassion so much that you don't believe this now?”

“It is not a question of compassion, but of motivation. I love Loki, as if he were born of my blood. However, he is known to stop at nothing to get what he wants. He is wicked and manipulative, and has even tricked the all-seeing Heimdall and I, many times before. You think he has changed his habits in the short time he spent with you? What makes you certain, that he is not in alliance with the Chitauri?”

Tony opened his mouth to yell out “Because I love him,” like it's always done in overly dramatic romance films, but he thought better of it. The brutal truth was, that he had nothing to make him sure of that. In the end, he just closed his jaw again to silently mutter: “I... I just know it.”

 

The sad and patronising look Odin gave him, was answer enough. “No, I mean it! They tortured him for Pete's sake! He helped me devise an escape plan, and- and..! He tried only to prevent me from being tortured!”

“They tortured him on his first visit, did they not? And yet, it did naught to hinder him from trying to rule your planet, and jeopardizing the safety of the Nine Realms in turn!” Odin snapped back, almost barking now.

“Father, hear him out. I saw it with my own eyes. Loki, is deeply in love with Anthony.” Thor cut in to support him. His posture was tense as a bowstring, but he stood up against his father like he did so every day. Which was probably the case.

Odin was undeterred, however, he even shot Thor a pitiful look. “It would not be the first time he feigned love. Need I remind you of young Lorelei? You were convinced they would marry - you thought them so in love. And she did, too!”

Tony looked at Loki, who had turned his face to the floor again. He had closed his eyes and looked by all means like he wanted to block everything out right now. Tony felt dumbstruck. He was sure that Loki's feelings for him were real, but this... insistent gaze the king levelled him with, made him feel uneasy. Yes, he promised Loki, to take him to Earth with him. But...

“You know _nothing_ of my feelings! You never cared, never! For all the ruin my life is now, you should have left me on Jotunheim to die a toddler! It would have spared me the grief and humiliation, of a life under your rule!” Loki suddenly hissed out. Thor nearly jumped forward to cover up the trickster's mouth, though Loki wound like a snake to evade his hands. “It wasn't enough, that you lied to me about my true parentage, that you destroyed my life and everything I once loved, now you do it again!”

Odin was taken aback, gaping at his son. “I fear what has made you so bitter, my son. When you fell trough the void-”

“You _fear,_ what has made me bitter? Have you looked into a fucking mirror lately, _'father' !_?” Guards swarmed around Thor and Loki; one of them held a muzzle in hand that Tony still knew well. He felt frozen to the spot while he watched Thor trying to protect his screaming brother from the guards.

 

“That does not give you the right to betray innocent people!” Odin yelled right back, almost falling out of his seat while doing so.

“Whoa, wait a minute!” Tony yelled over the commotion and Odin threw him that intimidating look again. This time he was ready for it. “You weren't there okay? I can't believe how often I have to repeat this! He gave them information to save me, and I'm pretty sure, I wasn't being tricked! I am not an innocent petite human, I can make my own decisions, I'm a big boy!” Odin was taken aback, staring at him in disbelieve. “Has he taken your mind? Child, you know not-”

“I know damn well what I'm doing! And I would greatly appreciate it, if you didn't call me a child. As I see it, being a child of yours, is not something to be desired. He has changed, but not because of you or your so-called _justice_!”

Oh, the old guy looked really angry now, clearly not one for critique. However, Tony stood his ground staring at him, positive that Thor, would hopefully save him if his father decided to attack Tony. 

“So your offer still stands? Even though he has betrayed you?”

The guards that were wrestling around with Thor, now stepped back, battered, beaten, but whole. Loki on the other hand, just spit out the not-fastened muzzle to the floor.

“I don't get it. Why is it important now, whether he loves me or not? I mean, it is important to me, but _you_?”

“Because, if you have granted him sanctuary, and still intend to honour that offer. You grant him political asylum! He _knows_ that!” Odin spat back at him, even pointing with his boom-stick at him. Tony looked at the staff, expecting it to shoot lasers any minute now. But the King's wrath already turned back to his wayward son. “Loki, you can not deny that this opportunity to evade judgement, was not the first thing that came to your mind once Anthony, had offered it to you, can you?”

 

Loki looked intently at the floor biting his lip, this time, not hiding a smile. Which was answer enough. It felt like a punch to the stomach, his ears tingled and he was sure his jaw hung open, but he didn't care. He just stood there, stunned silent.

Odin noticed his reaction and sat back leisurely on his throne again, facing his two sons.

“Loki. You have been given many chances, but still, it pains me to see you have not learnt from them, nor have you made any effort to change your ways. I have taken your title, your magic, and your rights. Still you continue to destroy lives, heedless of the carcasses that lie in your wake, in the pursuit of your goals. I here by grant, Anthony Stark, a nights stay in Asgard, to reconsider his offer; then, on the morrow, we will convene and your sentence handed down. Dismissed.”

 

The butt of his staff hit the ground with an earth shaking boom, then guards surrounded them once more. Loki immediately searched out eye contact with Tony who would not meet his gaze. Instead Tony watched Thor, who was obviously confused and looked as if he was few steps away from crying himself.

With his feelings and thoughts in turmoil, Tony fled the room not once looking back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slowly reaching the end of the story, guys, thank you all for reading!
> 
> \---  
> Much thanks to my lovely betas: Kidforgottenbygod and lokiofasgard! <3


	23. Five Thousand

Tony blindly ran through the palace until one of the guards found him, and brought him to the room that had been prepared for him that night. He had eaten there alone on his plush couch looking out of the window at the wide expanse of Asgard.

The food delicious as it was, had no taste to him. He didn't know what to think, everything confused him and it hurt. Odin had given him the night to think things through, and to reconsider if he wanted to grant Loki, asylum or not. For a brief moment in the throne room, he had been close to retracting his offer.

The worst part, was that he still very much loved the man. He just wasn't too sure of his motives anymore. Could all that time and all those feelings have been faked? It had been so much easier when they were alone; no people with different opinions, no threats of betrayal, and no doubt about Loki's motives. Now he had to assess different opinions; all of them very much able to take advantage of him. He could handle Odin being a dick, but Loki? _Well, that's what you got for loving the God of Mischief._

Hours of moping passed by, and Tony found himself watching the Asgardian night sky while trying to stop thinking. Sometimes he just wished to disappear into a hole somewhere, until everything was okay again; he thought he earned that by now.

 

A knock at the door pulled him from his stargazing. He waited a moment, only to hear Thor, call out for him and wait for permission to enter. Swinging his legs over the couch and slouching his way to the door, he opened it with a mildly surprised expression. Thor stood before him in all his godly glory- minus the glory part. It was pretty obvious that he had cried, his eyes were puffy, his shoulders hung low and Mjölnir, was nowhere to be seen.

“Hey,” he started lamely, patting Thor on the arm and internally wincing at the contact. Boy, since when was he so squeamish about being touched? Well, probably since the slave ship. Or since his second involuntary encounter with the Chitauri; or, you know, in the months of solitude (even if Loki had been there). “Come in, big guy.”

Thor shook his blond head, though. “Thank you, but I am on my way to talk to my father. I am here on behalf of Loki.” Ah, of course he was. “Would you see him? He has asked if you would agree to speak with him.”

Tony sighed, messing up his hair with his hand. Honest answer: He wanted to see Loki more than anything right now, but he was also convinced, that Loki would be able to influence his decision once he turned full puppy-eye-mode. On the other hand, it would be cruel to deny him a chance to explain himself, so he nodded. “Okay, yeah uh bring him over.”

“Thank you,” was all Thor said before turning and disappearing down the hallway. Tony closed his door again returning to his food, in the end he just ended up poking it around the plate.

 

He had no idea how much time passed. When a knock sounded at the door again, this time; however, the door just opened admitting Thor with his brother Loki, who looked serene and sad. He wore he same chains again that had held him when he was brought back to Asgard, after his failed conquest of Earth. They had provided him with some simple clothing that actually made him less intimidating and majestic than the improvised cape-skirt he had worn earlier. At least the muzzle was no where to be seen.

“May I enter?” came his soft voice, barely audible. Tony just nodded, Thor pushed Loki into the room before excusing himself, and leaving for his father's private chambers.

Loki stood in the middle of his room like someone had lost him there, gaze to the floor and fiddling with his own fingers.

“So... you wanted to talk to me?” Tony began, gesturing for the other to sit down in the chair opposite of his.

“I wanted to see you,” was the cryptic answer. Tony had been right, he couldn't stand the sad face Loki was making now. Luckily this fuelled his anger more.

“Why? Afraid that I realized that you played with me this whole time? Come on, say what you want to say, to make me forget what happened in that throne room.”

Loki leaned back in the chair looking at the ceiling, defeated but smiling. “You believe them, more than me?”

“No, I don't. I don't know what to believe anymore, can you tell me?” He looked at his lover directly, Tony wanted nothing more than to touch him and kiss him silly, but this was important now. It felt like someone had torn his heart right out of his chest. Like Loki tore his heart out.

Said someone, finally found the courage to return his gaze. “When you fist told me you would take me to Earth, with you... I saw my chance to escape Asgard, permanently. But things have changed.”

Tony scoffed. “Changed? What, you fell in undying loving love with me, and now feel all fuzzy and can't live without me anymore?”

“Yes.”

Tony stared and cursed under his breath. “Fucking hell. Why are you so complicated!” Oops, that had hurt. He could tell by the way Loki made a whole body flinch. “What, _now_ you're hurt? What daddy dearest threw at you a while ago was a bit worse, don't you think?”

Loki hissed at him, literally hissed; though he didn't seem angry. “I care not what _they_ think of me. Not any more. With you, it is a different matter entirely.”

Tony groaned theatrically and patted the space on the couch next to him cursing his weak will. “This is pretty fucked up, you know that? Political asylum? You could have told me that you know!? Why didn't you?”

Loki dropped down next to him on the couch, carefully keeping a little distance from Tony. “Because... then you would have thought you were a means to an end.”

He groaned while flopping down onto the pillows. “So it's better, now that everyone else thinks that? And I... am not sure what to believe?”

Loki just shrugged. “It was the first chance I had in years to trump the All Father. This is a prime example of something trivial getting out of hand. I told you I attracted chaos. Believe me when I say, that my feelings are true if you will, if it is otherwise... I am not here to sway your judgement. It never did me any good trying to make people believe my words.”

“And telling me beforehand wasn't an option?” Tony asked, slightly incredulous.

Loki's expression was sour, though. “Oh well,” Loki laughed bitterly. “I assumed that you would trust me as much. My mistake, I promise it will not happen again.” His Tone was slightly mirthful, but nonetheless Tony had the feeling that the other wasn't exactly as happy as he wanted to seem.

“So you're not here to win my feelings, what brought you here then?” Tony asked.

“I already told you. I wished to see you.”

Tony laughed until he noticed that Loki, was apparently serious. “Really?”

His frowning lover sighed dramatically. “Yes. Depending on how your decision turns out, this may be my last night. In all of Asgard, there is nothing of value to me besides you. So... I took care of my last wish myself, I guess.”

“Yeah, _way_ to not influence my decision,” he burst out, slightly terrified by the other's tranquillity. He reached out for Loki's hand then.

 

Something inside the god then wrenched itself to the surface, because once he held Tony's hand he pulled Tony towards him with more force than necessary.

“I have sworn myself not to beg, but,” Loki gulped. “Take me with you. Please. I know I have no place on Earth, and you will be fine among your family and friends, but... I don't want to stay here. There is no way to judge what awaits me here, but whatever it is... Asgard, will remain my cage.”

Tony bit his lip nervously. “You have lived your entire life here... minus two or three years...”

“I am aware. Still, I,” he nervously licked his lips. Loki never showed signs of nervousness. Not freely. “I would try to start over, but here is not the place for it. I would rather be at your side, if you would have me.”

Ah yes, the familiar feeling of getting the rug pulled from under him again. He was lying awkwardly on the couch half on Loki, and now, scrambled to get into a better position. He took Loki's face into his hands making him look into his eyes. “Do you really think I could leave you here when I know that they might kill you? Come on, you know me better than that. Even if I was convinced you lied, I would probably still take you with me.” He stroked his thumbs along Loki's cheeks soothingly, thinking about what he had to say now... The sad green puppy eyes pierced right through his heart.

Loki bent upwards to kiss him, but Tony evaded the touch. This denial prompted Loki to just press his forehead into Tony's collarbone. “There is another problem, is there not?”

“Yeah,” Tony gulped. He had noticed it over the last day when he made contact with other people. “It's not healthy what we're doing here Loki...” He stroked the curtain of black hair over the other's head soothingly, he hoped. He felt more than saw, Loki's forehead wrinkle up in a frown; because he was sure as hell not looking at that face right now. The dull night sky was seriously the better choice now.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean,” Tony stuttered out, in fact he had no idea how to explain to an alien god what psychological dependency meant, and why it was bad. “It's... you know, all I can think about is you. You are the only one who can touch me without making me nervous. I have trust issues- I mean I had them before, but not like this- and that's not good. It's like you're the only person in my life right now. Which was fine on the Chitauri planet, but tomorrow I will see my friends again, the people I consider family...”

 

Loki leant back at that, body stiff and expression closed. “Am I not enough for you then?”

“What? No! No, that's not what I meant! I can't even think of being with another person anymore, that's absolutely not healthy!” Oh shit, maybe he should have kept his mouth shut, and let a psychologist on Earth handle that... But there was no going back now. Loki's expression now was a stoic mask. He knew him well enough by now, to know what that meant.

“It's not that I _want to_ , but I _can't_! Do you see the difference?! I _can't_ be with another person, and I... I don't want that! I... I want to be free again, I want to make my own decisions!” Tony was crying again, but he didn't care. The previous two breakdowns didn't seem to be enough to rid him of this dreadful feeling of being caged. He angrily wiped at his eyes and looked at Loki, who by all intents and purposes looked like he had been slapped.

“Please, do not leave me...” he whispered out, his voice barely audible over heavy breaths. “Please...” The other looked at him with wide green eyes, his hands painfully clenched around his forearm in an attempt to pull him closer.

“That's not what I-”

“I can- I can change, Tony, you can have all the freedom you want, but... stay with me, please! I can change, for you!” the god pleaded, eyes wide and slightly crazed as he almost suffocated Tony under him.

And in that moment, Tony realized that he was not the only one with dependency problems. Loki seemed to have come to the same conclusion, because he drew back his hands as if the skin contact had burned them. He was still staring and breathing heavily, but he now leant back away from Tony, to comb long hair out of his face. He looked as if his words had shocked himself.

Tony gulped audibly and sat up straight. He shot his lover a sad look and crept closer to take the other's hand. He needed the support now, he was so confused. Loki meanwhile, directed his thousand-yard-stare at the opposite wall. “This isn't how it should be.”

“No, it is not.”

He used his free hand to stroke over his face, relieved to feel the slight scratch of his goatee, because it was so familiar a feeling. “Loki, I- I- I can't live without you. And it's not the good kind of 'can't live without you'. I'm afraid I... literally can't. And that's why I _must_.”

Loki nodded slowly, solemnly. “I know what you mean. My life has not been my own for a long time. And only now, I realize it still is not so.”

 

_God_ , what had he done to Loki? What had the god done to him? He felt so dependant on the other that his freedom-loving mind, shuddered at the idea of it. He really felt like he could not function without him. He couldn't touch others, he couldn't let others touch him. He felt weird in the company of others, he was almost afraid of greater masses of people now. How would he ever be able to return to his old life?

And Loki? Tony was literally the _only_ good thing left in his ruin of a life! The god didn't feel a bit better than Tony. How would Tony cope with that kind of pressure, he was only human? He felt like crying again, but it wouldn't make things better. Loki looked at him intently. “So is it better if this is the end, then?”

Those were dreadful words Tony realized. So terribly final. He was not sure what he wanted anymore. “I don't know what to do... I really don't know.” He was only talking to fill the oppressing silence, and to evade the question. His hand clutched at Loki's seeking reassurance. He was pulled towards the other, and leaned against the lean shoulder. An arm was laid around him slowly stroking along his side.

Loki's gaze was still locked on the wall, but his voice was firm. “Tomorrow, Thor will take us to the portal and wish you goodbye.Once we return to Earth, I will vanish from your life, you need not worry for me. Do try to forget me. Your fellow humans will welcome you back, and help you to live on in your tower.”

“Actually, I live in a big mansion in Malibu, most of the time.”

“Not the point.”

He watched his... ex-lover for a moment, thinking about their plan. “So you don't strictly, have to stay at my house for asylum?”

“No. Earth is not united under a single ruler, so your word as a citizen is as good as any.”

 

Tony felt a heavy sigh leave his lungs, something tight in his gut unwound. It hurt though, it always did; wasn't that what people said? It probably was the right thing to do as the other said. He didn't want to be dependant on another person because some outside force had broken them into the people they were now. It still hurt to admit, but he nodded his consent.

“And what will you do? You are alone on Earth,” he sniffled, cheek pressed up against his once-lover. The god was old, he had lived trough much and would live through much more. At latest he would be free from his very own dependency once Tony died of age, and ceased wandering the nine realms.

Loki let his head meet the wall behind him with a thud, he was absolutely serene and relaxed in his posture, as he continued to stare into the distance. “I have been alone all my life. I will go on. I always have.”

“I'm sorry.” Tony sniffled, he was back to just feeling empty again. But it was no use, he wanted to hold the reigns to his own life once and for all.

“You need not be. It is time for me to start anew, leave all this behind; and where else to do that better than Earth?” His mouth quirked upwards not really mirthful, but at least not bitter.

“Still. This didn't end like I wanted it to.” Tony wiped his face. The tears had dried, his head hurt, but he stayed on the couch. Great, now the doubts came. Just wonderful. “Damn thing nobody tells you about change, is that it fucking hurts..”

Loki chuckled darkly, shaking Tony's whole frame, since he still basically sat in his lap.

 

“Stay with me this night?” Loki asked without malice, just stroking Tony's side. He felt himself nodding. He sniffled dryly and cuddled closer to Loki, it felt as natural as breathing to him,

and it would be among the last times it would feel so. The thought left a bitter taste in his mouth, but it would be for the better, wouldn't it?

They had fallen asleep on the couch curled into each other snoring loudly. Thor came to wake them, looking by all means as if _he_ was the one to be tried today. He was eerily silent this morning as he walked back to the throne room with them.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Tony made an art out of feeling nothing. He felt happy because he would finally be going home - and dreadful, because he would leave Loki behind, even though the god would join his journey. Weighted against each other, this amounted to just feeling nothing. Bittersweet if you will.

The All father and also a woman Tony hadn't met before, awaited them. She introduced herself as Frigga and apparently was Thor's and Loki's mother. Since she stepped forward at their arrival and embraced and kissed both of her sons on the forehead, he decided that he liked her. Who he didn't like, was Odin, who sat on his fat throne again and watched them wearily.

“So then Anthony Stark, have you made your decision?”

“Boy howdy, yeah I did!” he overly cheerfully greeted Odin, who proceeded to try and ignore the annoying Midgardian that he was, and waited for an answer. “Sorry to steal him from your loving grasp, big daddy, but I decided to take him with me.”

Tony watched in delight how Odin, started massaging the bridge of his nose between his royal fingers. Yep, just like Nick Fury, the old man here! He was aware that his sarcasm-as-coping-mechanism, was back with a vengeance, but he let that lie right now.

“HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE, THAT YOU HAVE BEEN TRICKED!?” Odin suddenly yelled, taking everyone in the room by surprise. Tony actually jumped a little, but would deny that reaction if asked.

“FATHER!” Thor, entered stage right. “It is his decision, I have seen he and Loki, interact. I believe he has brought forth a change in him!”

The two gods were having a shouting match of epic proportions now, Tony watched them fascinated. There was most definitely no mistaking, that these two were father and son. Completely unlike Loki.

“Fine!” Odin yelled in the end. He sighed exasperatedly and waved Thor back to his place.“Fine, I will allow him to go with you Anthony Stark, but should he break any of Midgard's governing laws, he will be returned to Asgard, to answer for his crimes. I do not wish for there to be another inter-realm incident, brought on by another one of Loki's machinations!”

“What? You expecting him to do something. He's basically a human, with above average strength without his magic! By the way, you could give that back, he misses it, and it may have prevented him from getting kidnapped and sold as a slave, y'know.”

 

Odin glowered at him, voice deceptively calm. “Do not wear on my patience mortal. His magic is too dangerous for your realm if he roams freely.” Then he looked like he had an idea. “Loki. How about we leave you a choice? You will be granted the return of your powers once more, you have a chance at proving yourself in the oncoming war, or you leave for Earth. Which do you-”

“Earth,” Loki shot out calmly, not even waiting for his adoptive father to finish. He had not even considered it for a second, and looked triumphantly at his once-father, smile on his face.

The king seemed to be taken aback by this turn of events. He watched Loki closely and looked like he was seeing him for the first time. After a minute of unrelenting staring, Odin banged the butt of his spear on the floor, and called out: “So be it. Guards take his chains from him. Loki Odinson, you are here by granted asylum on Midgard, for the remainder of your days until Ragnarok is upon us. Farewell.”

The guards freed Loki's arms, the chains rustling on the floor and the dark haired god stepped back on shaky legs. He did not look back at his father, just limped towards Tony and embraced him. A moment later Thor, joined the fun and lifted them both from the ground into the most uncomfortable bear hug of Tony's life. They let him be though, since the sheer joy on his face was too pretty a thing to destroy.

“Tony, brother, I will lead you to the portal!”

When Tony gazed back, he only saw Odin's slumped back retreating behind The Throne.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Mere minutes later, they stood before the dome Tony had last seen when he had been delirious from pain and blood loss. It emerged from a platform akin to a marketplace right in front of the palace. People were walking around, looking at them with interest, but ultimately minding their own business. Tony could also see some people standing in close proximity to the dome that wore the dark blue SHIELD uniforms. Well yes, if you had a perma-link to outer space, you would use it. He walked towards it, studying the controls.

A voice called to him from behind. When their little group turned around they saw Frigga, hurrying to reach them. She threw her arms around Loki again, and placed a kiss on his forehead and cheeks before stepping back and bowing to them elegantly. “Please forgive my husband for his behaviour. He had spent the night worrying that he would have to execute a son dear to him. And now he lost him still, but in another way. Forgive an old man his sentimentality.”

“It's okay lady, really,” Tony stammered out, overwhelmed by her kind presence and her cheeky grin. “What is it?” She stepped aside to reveal two handmaidens with boxes in their hands.

“I think you almost forgot something.” The maidens bowed to Tony, and handed him the open boxes containing what was left of his Chitauri Armour and arc reactor. He almost hit himself in the head then and there for forgetting that. Frigga took his thanks gracefully, with a smile on her lips. She addressed Loki and Tony in particular, when she said: “Fair thee well.” And returned to the palace, with swishing robes.

While he brought the boxes he was carrying to the dome, he saw Thor and Loki out of the corner of his eye; Thor was holding out his hand to Loki and after a short while of consideration the god of mischief stepped close to him and gave him a brief hug. Tony smiled like a child on Christmas day when he turned to Loki and held out his hand, Loki took it without complaint, lacing their fingers together.

“So. Uh, bye Thor, see you soon!” Thor waved to him and activated the machine. They stood in the centre, when the dome around them lit up suddenly. Tony felt like he was torn apart, stretched in space and flying, until his feet hit solid ground again. He would have fallen on his ass, had Loki not held his hand.

They were standing on top of Stark Tower in the newly built dome facing a battalion of SHIELD agents. The roof of Stark Tower was brimming with life, people all over it, the front row had yet to pull their guns. “Why hello there. Missed me?”

 

Tony felt how Loki tensed next to him, but didn't move. Neither did the agents. They kept up their little Mexican Stand-Off, until the door that led into the building opened. A red haired lady, came out and pushed her way through the marine-blue crowd until she stood before the new comers from outer space.

“Tony!” Pepper called out, stunned and confused and still wearing her high heels even in the gravel on the roof of Stark Tower. She dropped her clipboard and ran towards him, ignoring Loki, and hugging him to her chest. “Tony, I was so worried!” Tony forced himself not to tense at her touch, it was Pepper goddamnit! Then she spared a worried side glance at Loki, and stepped back a little. “...hello.”

The god inclined his head to her politely and stayed close to Tony, whether because he was unsure of his surroundings or to avoid being shot, he could only guess. Tony then decided to man up and be professional about this. He took Loki's arm and stepped down the stairs and on to the roof, gesturing for the crowd to part and feeling like Moses when they did. On their way to the door, he did his best to hold them back. “No photos, no interviews! My manager will give you an appointment if you want! Move out of the way please, no photos!”

They reached the door while the SHIELD personnel was still stunned by his boldness, and hurried to the private elevator before they made a move to stop them. Tony ignored his quickly thudding heart. People, people _everywhere_! How was he supposed to stand that!? Pepper was close behind, staring at Loki, who still stood next to Tony feeling utterly out of place and looking the part.

 

Pepper waited patiently for the elevator to reach his apartment – which luckily had been kept in the state it had been in when he left – before exploding and assaulting him with questions. “Tony, what happened? There was surveillance footage of you being abducted almost half a year ago! Then another video with you two appearing out of nowhere on the roof and disappearing just as fast again with the link? And you were hurt! And you used the prototype link and god knows what could have happened! Where have you been and why are you wearing... that, and Loki, why is he here and why is he wearing... that!?”

“Pep, not now, please. Sit down, I need a minute here,” Tony stated firmly, shooing Pepper out of the elevator and turning back at Loki who still stood in the metallic box. He could feel Pepper's eyes on the back of his head from where she was standing in the living room. Tony licked his lips when he looked up at Loki standing in the elevator, his green eyes were as piercing as they took him in, seemingly at a loss for words.

Tony squirmed a little under the gaze and tried to get his thoughts in order. To get this over with before his decision would be swayed... But then his attention was on Loki's outlandish clothes and he could hit himself for not thinking about this earlier. He ran into the living room digging around for his wallet and pulling out his passes, before handing it to Loki, with a handful of money and a credit card still inside.

“Here, you'll need this. It's not much, but it will let you eat and buy some clothes in the coming days. Uhm...” He then took a pen from a nearby table and pulled Loki's free hand towards him to scribble down the pin-code. Loki frowned at the number on his lower arm. “Remember this number, it will give you access to the plastic card, when someone asks you for the pin.. or keycode. It's money. Well not really, but, yeah the card is as good as money here. Show it to people and you can pay with it. It has a limit, somewhere around three or four thousand-”

“Five. It actually has a limit of five thousand dollars,” Pepper chimed in. If she had any opinion on what Tony was doing, she was keeping it to herself. Tony thanked her quietly, but his attention wasn't on her for long.

“Okay, five thousand. That should be fine, until you... well, until you find something for yourself.” Tony nodded while saying that, convincing himself that this was the right thing to do, that Loki had to leave, so that he could go on with at least a semblance of his old life...

 

He turned around halfway, before looking at Loki again. “Oh, Before I forget, you need to buy food in stores and such,” he laughed lamely. “No hunting and gathering in the woods, the- the government doesn't like that...”

Loki looked at him as if he could easily see through his rambling. Which he probably could, it was almost embarrassing how he stood here and searched for things to say, to do... to avoid the inevitable. There were a thousand things he wanted to say and yet nothing would make this situation any better.

“Maybe you want to drink something before you go?” Peppers friendly voice came from the living room, and Tony was immensely thankful for her reassuring presence right now. But Loki slowly shook his head and declined politely. This whole thing wasn't any easier on him than it was on Tony. It was probably good that he declined, the longer he stayed here, the more Tony's resolve weakened.

“Really? Not one for parting drinks, are you,” Tony stuttered just to say _something_ to fill the silence. He knew Loki wouldn't stay, he could see it in his hardened eyes. “Okay then not. The good stuff is probably gone anyway, Pep never had a good word to say about my liquor collection.”

Tony laughed at his own joke, because no one else did. So, this was it then.

 

Finally he had run out of things to say, so he just bit his lip and looked up into his ex-lovers face, taking in every detail. He gestured towards the steel case. “The elevator will take you to the parking lot, JARVIS will tell Happy to wait with a limo there. Wait, JARVIS and Happy are still around, aren't they?” Tony quickly turned to Pepper who just nodded. “Okay, yay, good. Some things just stay the same. Uh.. where was I? Yeah, Happy. He will drive you out of the city and drop you off at the next train station. JARV, you got that?”

The disembodied voice from the ceiling made Loki flinch in surprise. It made Tony smile to see him sceptically searching the ceiling for that mysterious voice.

“ _Indeed sir, Mr. Hogan has been notified and is awaiting his passenger.”_

“Great,” Tony nodded, his gaze once more on the card in Loki's hand. “Okay, remember when someone asks you to pay, you just hand them the card and type in the number I gave you. They will tell you where. Got it?” A nod. “Okay, good then... uh...”

And now came the hard part. He looked at the man he felt so deeply in love with, that would now just disappear out of his new, old life. What do you say in such a situation?

In the end, Loki took care of that. “Tony, I thank you for your kindness and love. I will remember it fondly when I walk this realm.” Then he took his hand and _kissed his fucking knuckles_. Tony only nodded, because some vile thing had clotted itself in his throat, and took a step back pushing the elevator button for Loki.

They stared at each other until the steel doors closed and rid them of the other's sight. That was all. Whatever magic, or sudden phenomenon Tony had expected, didn't happen. No dramatic string, no godly malfunction of the device, no closing credits.

He just stood before the elevator like a dumb-ass, watching the numbers on the display slowly wind down, indicating the floor the elevator passed. Even when it had long reached zero, he still stared at the closed door, until Pepper finally pulled him away and back into reality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *ducks for cover*
> 
> One chapter remains to go, I hope I will be able to write soon! Thank you for reading!
> 
> My lovely betas from tumblr: Kidforgottenbygod and Lokiofasgard


	24. Marathon

Tony zapped through the nine-hundred-and-sixty-three channels his TV set knew. He'd been doing this for the last two hours already, and that had been the point where his 'The Sopranos – the complete collection', had played its last episode. He had already watched his own personal Game of Thrones marathon and the season he had missed in the six months of his journey before that.

Before _all of_ _that,_ however, he had asked JARVIS to get him up to date with everything important that had happened; the Stark industries Stock that had steeply fallen, but slowly recovered; the military's ridiculous plans for their own superhero, 'Iron Patriot'; the Avengers' most recent glorious battles; and the establishing of the Earth-Asgard link under the watchful eye of one doctor Jane Foster... Much had happened and nothing of it interested him.He should really be getting up and doing something other than sitting in front of the TV and devouring fast food like a rubbish chute.

He should maybe take a shower, the last one had been four days ago, and he reeked. Or he could always work out, get back into shape again. If he did what Pepper vocally demanded, he would go see a therapist to treat his depression, PTSD, and various other psychoses that SHIELD discovered during their brief check-up after his return. You knew you were in a bad condition when Nick Fury himself told you to take as much time as you need off.

Which was what he did, two days after his arrival back on Earth, he had flown down to Malibu where he dwelt since. He dismissed everyone that wanted to visit him. Only Pepper and Happy (who were a pair now, by the way, yeah, congrats on your luck and all) sometimes came over when they were in California. Rhodey was very busy with state business apparently now calling himself _Iron Patriot_ , but still managed to call him sometimes offering his support; and rarely Tony even liked talking to him a bit about trivial stuff. Steve called almost daily and asked him if he could visit, which he always answered with “Thanks, maybe in a few days.” Bruce had called only once, askingif he was okay and assuring his help if Tony wanted it. He was a good friend not trying to crowd him, berate him, or take influence in his life in any other way. Natasha had sent a card that Clint had also signed and that was the extent to which he heard from them.

Three and a half weeks of his vacation was already over, though Coul- _Phil,_ assured him that he could take as long as he needed before they would hold a conference. SHIELD was treading on eggshells when dealing with him now. They didn't force him to talk, he only told them that he was with the Chitauri and that they were preparing for war against Asgard.

Pepper had been more insistent, but even she had realized that Tony needed time to heal when he had had a screaming fit about how she was expecting him to simply function normally when he had been kidnapped by aliens, tortured, had found and lost the love of his life, and finally butted heads with the king of the gods, all in the span of half a year. He wasn't really sorry about that outburst. She now was careful when she talked to him, helpful but distant and he didn't want it any other way. He knew that it was bad for his already damaged psyche to be alone most of the time, but he had found that he couldn't be in the company of others for long, without getting panic attacks. The presence of people around him just made his skin crawl. He felt the need to be aware of every single person in his general environment at all times; watching what they'd do next, and being prepared for an ambush.

Still, the people he called friends, didn't let him down; he had all the support he could wish for. There was just one problem, they didn't understand him. He had never thought that would be a problem for him – and hell, he wouldn't wish on anyone what he had endured - however it bothered him greatly. They didn't know how to deal with him, and it showed. They treated him like a child and belittled him, they didn't take him seriously anymore, or saw him only as a person that needed their help. Well, he did, but he also couldn't stand it right now. _Next week, I will fly back to New York_ , _next week I'll call Bruce,_ or N _ext week I will talk to SHIELD_ , were his daily companions. He never acted on them.

 

Most of the time he managed not to think about Loki. Most of it. He was honest enough with himself to see that he was heartbroken badly. In a way it wasn't as bad as when he and Pepper broke up, because he didn't have to deal with Loki in his everyday life. On the other hand, he wasn't even able to tell if he was okay, he just couldn't get the thought out of his head. It was bad when there was nothing to distract him, it was worse when he tried to sleep at night. His mind seemed to have ingrained the picture of the god standing in his elevator, looking lost and out of place on this planet. Sometimes he found his thoughts wandering trying to figure out what the other was doing now, if he was getting along well on Earth, or if he had met people who were nice to him. As much as he didn't want to think about it, but it had crossed his mind a few times, had the god been captured by SHIELD? If that were the case, was he tortured for information or used as a guinea pig, and was nobody telling him about it because they were trying not to distress him.

Out of all of the thoughts he was having about Loki it was the latter that haunted him the most; especially after a panic attack once he drowned his sorrows in alcohol. It was after that, that he broke down and hacked his bank account, to see where Loki had used the credit card he gave him. It was astonishing to see how the god learned. At first he seemed to have gotten an idea where to sleep; while there had been pretty shady establishments on the list at first, only gradually mixed with very expensive hotels, there quickly were only modest motels left on the list. Other than that it was pretty unspectacular: A newspaper here, some clothes there, something to eat, and train tickets. Only a week ago, did the card reach its limit after a plane ride to Europe. The last entry he found was from a clothing store somewhere in eastern Europe where Loki's trail then dropped off the map.

The survey had quenched Tony's worry only a little, but it was better than nothing. After his research he only felt that it was harder to get the god off of his mind once more.

 

Near the end of the fifth week of his vacation from everything he got fed up with himself. He slept a lot. The TV in his bedroom was running constantly he only left his bed now to shower every once and a while or to get the food JARVIS ordered for him. Everything tasted the same, no matter what he got, so in the end he lived solely on Cheeseburgers. It had become a routine. The only thing he was really proud of was that -aside from the one little stunt with the credit card- he had not yet resorted to alcohol. Just one relapse in over a month, if that wasn't a positive sign then nothing was. _Look at me here, doing the right thing, yay._

The phone rang in the late afternoon, the display told him it was Steve, he answered, lying about his well-being, and cuting Steve's wish to help off. After the call he placed his phone back on the table before him and looked at it. He would answer Steve honestly one day accept his help and get on with his life. Not today though. He could return to bed now and sleep. Or eat something. Or watch stupid films he's seen a million times by now.

Day by day the desire to break out of his lethargy diminished; the prospect of dealing with everything outside of his safe home seemed like an insurmountable task. He noticed it too, it wasn't as if he thought what he did was healthy. The time had come to do something about it.

This vigour lasted exactly ten minutes, time he used to shower and shave or would have, as he came out of the shower he noticed that his shaver had gone missing and he didn't feel like using a razor near his neck in the mood he was in. There wasn't even a guarantee that it would be able to cut through the forest of hair his face had become.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The weeks went by and Tony had managed to shave once, but since then had given up on his appearance altogether. He knew if he looked presentable, there was a chance he might actually decided to go outside and meet people, and that was seriously the last thing he wanted to do. Again, bad decision, but he really didn't care right now. If doing the right thing felt like this, then doing the right thing could fuck off for all it was worth.

The day had begun splendidly with a cloudy sky greeting him in the early afternoon after he slept through the better part of the night, and the whole morning on his couch. At first he tried to fall back asleep, however, his body felt well rested apparently and made him get up.

When he got to his feet, he felt – and heard- his spine pop loudly, after which he just plummeted to the floor in shock, taking the living room table with him. Lying there in the remnants of junk and furniture, he felt like this was his wakeup call. _This is it. Bottom of the barrel, Tony. Nice knowing you, it has been a fun ride._

Tony got up five minutes later. He sauntered into the kitchen in his sweatpants to make coffee. He could have ordered JARVIS to do that, but he wanted to do something himself. Maybe then he would even go down into his workshop and tinker around a bit. He had always liked that. He had also tried doing that the fist day he arrived here, but once the machines were humming and he saw all the parts of his suit around him, he felt nauseous with flashbacks seeing Chitauri in every corner of the room. Maybe he'd try again today, he felt like doing something.

 

Entering the kitchen he was mildly shocked to find an accumulated pile of junk laying around. Mostly wrapping paper from the Burger joints JARVIS ordered from. Like every day. But he wanted to change, didn't he? So he began collecting all the paper and Coke cans, and disposed of them. Tidying up was easy enough, one would think; however, when the cans and wrappers transformed into shiny, silvery alien-tech in front of his inner eye all spirit left him again. Halfway through his task he set it all down again and cowered into a corner of the room not feeling like getting up again.

That was bad, Tony knew he should get up and continue doing something. His idleness was a sign of depression, or at least Google said that. Thank you Google, as if he didn't know that as well. He also felt sleepy again, maybe he would just curl up somewhere and die.

Instead he decided to spend the rest of the day in bed, when the doorbell rang. Tony groaned, he really hoped it wasn't another attempt by Pepper or Rhodey, to organize a housekeeper for him. He had liked the idea initially, though after he had freaked out when he returned to his bedroom and found someone had been there and touched his stuff, he quickly refrained from letting them into his house again. Funny thing, he hadn't made his own bed since before puberty, but now he was doing it again.

He contemplated playing dead, when it rang again. Okay then, maybe he hadn't had his fill of social contact this week.

 

He didn't hurry though, whoever was there, if they didn't feel like waiting for him, they weren't worth it. Tony activated the camera and looked onto the screen seeing a tall, dark figure standing in his doorway and waiting. The person's face was obscured by a ridiculously stylish hat. He didn't know what the mafia wanted to do with him.Tony stared at the screen trying to wrap his head around the situation, probably too long, because the person turned around after a while and slowly made their way back down the driveway.

Tony now quickly moved to the door and opened it seeing the slowly moving back of a tall man clad in a sharp black suit, long hair tied by a ribbon at his neck. The person was casually swinging a cane that helped him walk.

He'd recognize that limp anywhere.

_You should let him go._

_To hell with what you s_ hould _do._

He swallowed around a lump in his throat, not wanting his voice to break like that of a teenager. “Loki!”

The god turned casually, cocking his head to the side and nodded politely towards Tony, one hand touched to the rim of his hat. Okay, so this either was a very posh illusion standing in his driveway, or it was really Loki, impeccably dressed in a black suit, complete with waistcoat, matching black shirt, hat, and silvery tie. The cane he carried was sleekly embroiled with golden ornaments and his right hand donned what looked like a glove that only encompassed its wrist and the last two fingers. _The ones that were numb._

If there had been any doubt that this was in fact not a trick of his subconscious, it was now gone. He stayed just inside the door and stared at Loki halfway down the driveway, waiting for something to happen. It took a few moments to sink in, before he stepped back and gestured for Loki to come inside. The god took his time and Tony couldn't quite shake the feeling that he was preening. As if Tony wasn't already confused enough.

Once standing directly before him, Loki took off his hat and his topcoat, swinging it over his arm. He avoided looking at Tony, giving him the opportunity to gather his thoughts. He appreciated the gesture.

“What... are you doing here?” Tony asked, clearing his throat and keeping a polite distance.

“Oh, I,” Loki began, licking his thin lips. “I thought I would pay a visit to someone who helped me to a new life. Look in and see how they were doing.” His smile was insincere, Tony could tell, but born out of insecurity rather than malice. His green eyes now looked expectantly.

Tony nodded slowly. “Seems like a reasonable thing to do.”

“And,” the god continued. “May I ask how you have fared?” A lie. Again. Loki's attitude conveyed that he was not the least bit surprised to see Tony. Besides that it was a little obvious how Tony was faring, what with his newly refined hobo-style and all.

“You may.” Tony felt totally giddy despite himself, also licking his dry lips and stepping backwards into his mansion. “But come in first, it wouldn't be polite to let you stand here... outside..”

Loki followed his invitation and stepped inside, setting his cane against the wall and taking the hat off his arm to hang it on the coat hanger. He politely inclined his head to Tony's invitation. The engineer kneaded his hands nervously as they made their way to the living room. He kicked some empty food boxes aside, tried to hide the chaos that had befallen his house. That was when he remembered the broken table, so he gave up pretending.

“I'm... fine! Really, fine...” He got a _look_ from Loki. ”Okay, I'm not. Kinda the opposite and we both know that. So why are you really here?” He was totally forgetting to ask Loki if he wanted to drink something and sit down, but he didn't even care right now, his head was a mess of conflicting emotions. So he just settled for standing in the rubbish of his living room and awkwardly staring at his guest.

Loki smiled his thin-lipped smile. “It is truth, I knew how you fared coming here. In fact, I admit that it is my reason for seeking you out.”

Tony raised an inquiring eyebrow, but Loki seemed to be satisfied with his answer and was now staring back. Tony took the time to really soak in his appearance. Tony's feelings still couldn't quite decide what they wanted. He settled for confused.

“You look good,” he burst out. “I mean, you look.. uh,” Healthy. Self-confident. Dapper. Absolutely delicious. “You look... good.”

“Thank you,” Loki answered politely before he looked down at Tony, sensing that he waited for him complimenting back. “Apologies, but you look like a cave-troll.”

Tony heard the good-hearted snort before he realized that it was his own. He felt how his face spread into a smile, something it hadn't done in quite a while. His muscles felt weird an unused. After that realization he couldn't stop smiling, even when Tony grabbed a badly-smelling plastic cup from a shelf.

“I can't help noticing that you kind of dealt better with the whole thing than me here.”

“I told you, I always go on. Maybe because I am not trying to conform to other's peoples perception of 'rightness',” Loki offered, eyeing the dirty couch and deciding against sitting on it. “You are, of course, entitled to your own way.”

He sighed heavily, taking a swig out of his three-days-old lemonade. Tony could see his reflection in the dark fluid and decided that he really looked horrible. “For once I tried to do the right thing in my life. I was a good boy and didn't give in to a potentially unhealthy... dependency,” He looked over the rim of his plastic cup to watch Loki standing regally in his messy home. The god's body was relaxed, though he could hardly hide his curiosity at Tony's words. “And if this...” He indicated the room. “...is the result of doing things right... fuck rightness.”

Loki raised an impeccably groomed eyebrow and didn't even bother to hide his satisfied smirk. Tony couldn't help but smile back. Of course this didn't go unnoticed by the god. “What is it that makes you smile so?”

“To be frank... I am thinking about kissing an old friend, hello,” he blurted out brutally honest. “A little peck on the cheek in reminiscence of the old times. Y'know out of my own free will.” He felt giddy and nervous, as he stepped closer to Loki to see his expression. He was met with a friendly, but blank face.

“Seems like a reasonable thing to do, Mr. Stark.”

Tony really intended to kiss his cheek. He really did! It wasn't his fault that he was so short and had to hold on to Loki's shoulders as the other bent down to fulfil his request. Nor was it his fault that his arms slid around the other's neck, and held on for dear life. That Loki presented him his cheek and at the last moment turned his head so their lips would meet, though, was completely his fault. Yes, he blamed Loki for turning up at his door, looking incredibly good in dapper clothing, and making him happy just with his mere presence. Bastard.

His feet were dangling above ground again, Loki had picked him up, as effortlessly as ever. Tony happily hung in his arms even after they separated, both breathing heavily. Despite being in his loved home, his usual environment, Tony hadn't felt this content with himself since he was kidnapped back in New York. No, since Pepper broke up with him. And there it was again, all this bullshit dependency, the reason they had separated in the first place.

“Look, I was stupid, okay,” he started, clinging to the other and looking over his shoulder at the opposite wall. This was going to be easier if he didn't have to look him in the eyes. “I was so stupid. Forget what I said, please, never, _never_ leave again.”

Loki's deep chuckles vibrated through his torso and Tony basked in the feeling. “I thought this was... unhealthy?”

“Well yeah,” Tony mumbled. “But hey, it's not healthy to binge-drink at the first sight of a problem, or take drugs like a champ during college... or sleep with more people than you can remember. Didn't keep me from doing these things. Though, we probably should see a therapist.”

Loki threw him a knowing smile, way too smug for his own good.

“What?” Tony asked flatly. He got no answer, but a more condescending smile out of the other.

“What?!” He lightly hit Loki's shoulder.

Loki sighed, smiling. “I sometimes forget how young you are.”

“Wat.”

 

He blankly stared up at Loki who had the gall to chuckle at him. Mirth danced in his green eyes and Tony found it hard to resist kissing him again.

“Humans are young and brash, but you get there in the end. I knew that you would come to your senses eventually.”

“Wait,” Tony blurted out, taking a step away from his lover to frown disapprovingly at him. At least he tried through the giant grin still sitting on his features. “You.. you planned this?”

Loki chuckled again, posture finally relaxing. “No, but I am known to make the best out of what is thrown at me. To be honest, the time alone on your little planet proved to be a very good thing. I had the chance to meet new people out of my own volition. To become familiar with this planet on my own terms, without someone giving me an opinion...” He trailed off, smirk growing a little darker. “To feel like myself again. I sorted out what I really wanted. So therefore I am here. You know, out of my own free will.”

Tony attacked his mouth again, kissing him wildly, until they both parted with swollen red lips. He felt that more than whispering now would kill the mood. Old romantic that he was. “Where have you been?” he asked with his lips against the others cheek.

“Everywhere and nowhere.”

“And,” Tony licked his lips. “You made friends?”

“I did.”

“Do I want to know them?”

“Probably not.”

Well, whatever that meant, Tony didn't care. They looked into each others eyes and started laughing at the same time.

He looked Loki up and down, feeling around the seams of his suit, uncovering a label on the inside.

“Kiton? I don't think I left you with enough money to buy a complete Kiton three piece suit; let alone a fitting hat and... and a pimp cane.”

Loki smiled thinly, tugging his suit back into its pristine form. “I may or may not have grifted a tall dark and handsome businessman out of it.”

Tony looked at him a mock-disapprovingly, which only made Loki laugh. “Darling,” he pecked Tony's frown softly, and only then shared his newfound knowledge of earth slang. “Calm yo' tits, as your people say. As if somebody wearing a suit like this has long pockets and short arms.”

Tony's frame shook with laughter when he nuzzled his face against Loki's neck. He took in Loki's smell. He wore some kind of cologne, but his very own smell wasn't hard to discover under it. “I've missed you, Loki...”

“I notice,” the god chuckled, letting his hands glide down Tony's back soothingly. When he bent down he whispered into his ear. “I would have you, Anthony.”

Tony made a grunting noise and lightly hit Loki's ass. “So you would have this cave-troll?”

“I have had worse.”

He laughed while he directed Loki to the bedroom, happily being carried by the other. “This has to be the prettiest cave-troll you have ever had.”

Loki bit his ear in retaliation for that. “True, though you reek a little worse than one.” Tony's face fell when they reached the bedroom. Yep, Loki certainly had regained a lot of 'himself'. He tentatively lifted his arm to sniff his armpit. Okay, the Lokster might have a point there. He sheepishly grinned at the other and wriggled his eyebrows. “So... will you join me in the shower?”

Loki just chuckled darkly and took a few steps backwards. He spread his arms invitingly. “I will await your return, Anthony.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Tony was pretty sure he had never showered and shaved this quickly. Even though he just had three of his own fingers up his bum to save time later, he still felt his cleaning up was record-worthy. Dripping with Lube, he swaggered back into his bedroom feeling like an enormous weight had been taken off his chest. This feeling only elevated once he spied his lover on the bed, already completely undressed and smiling invitingly.

He really made a magnificent picture; Loki wasn't as gaunt as when he last saw him, most of his wounds had healed to barely noticeable scars and his whole posture spoke of self-confidence and royalty. If there had ever been a doubt that this man was born a prince, it would be debunked now.

“What are you waiting for?” Loki asked solemnly and beckoned Tony closer. When he crawled on the bed he placed one hand on Loki's ankle and slowly slithered up his body, never losing contact. He felt his body glide over the other's smooth skin, here and there kissing languid trails up his muscles.

“You don't grow hair at all, do you? Besides on your head,” Tony inquired, smiling up at his lover and making him moan by scratching his goatee along his inner thighs.

“No,” was Loki's short answer, before Tony felt how he was pulled up by a hand behind his neck, pulled into a sloppy kiss. “I am special.” The sweet smile on Loki's lips was equally part dangerous and part mirthful. Tony decided that this conversation could wait.

What mattered right now was his mouth on Loki's face and his hands all over his body. Delightedly he found that he remembered his body just as well as months ago. His muscle memory was enviable in this regard.

He felt Loki's hand wander up the backs of his thighs, stroking slowly inward and he felt his lover pause for a short time when he discovered that Tony was all ready for him. The lips he kissed stretched into a knowing smile. That was all the warning Tony got, before he felt long fingers slowly dip into his hole and stroke his insides. He could feel Loki shift under him, already hard and leaking; Loki definitely missed him, too.

Loki stretched his neck to kiss along his jaw so he could hoarsely whisper into his hear. “Ride me, Tony Stark.”

What is a sure sign of Tony Stark being utterly in love? Sinking down on a man's penis, without questioning or remorse. He had never before done this. Sure, he had a few guys during his wild years, but in those few encounters where penetration was involved, he had been the one giving. He had never really entertained the thought of having it any other way. And here he was, impaling himself on Loki's cock, feeling an unfamiliar stretch and gasping in slight distress. Loki coddled him, peppering him with reassurances and stroking his sides to calm him down. “You are doing wonderfully. It will get better.”

Tony nodded frantically, feeling his heart hammer in his chest. Yeah, he had kind of planned this ... encounter while in the shower, he wanted to show Loki that he trusted him, he just didn't really think it through. Right now it was only weird. Loki sensed his distress, cooing until he felt his cheeks connect with the other's thighs. He felt the god's pulsing length inside him and didn't quite know if he liked that or not. The thought was surely arousing, the feeling still just a little on the uncomfortable side.

That was, until he heard a soft 'ready' from his lover, before he felt Loki's hips move under him, and then his world exploded in a burst of lust. Loki held his hips firmly and undulated his hips, thrusting upwards, a little angular, courtesy of his bad hip, but perfectly in his aim. He hit Tony's prostate dead on.

Under other circumstances he would have been embarrassed by the sounds that he made, but right now he couldn't care less that he was basically screaming into Loki's hair – and by extension his ear. The god didn't seem to mind terribly, he even started to laugh, but gods bless him, he didn't stop hammering up into his body while doing so.

“You are ah- doing remarkably well, for a first time, darling,” Loki groaned against his neck, between sucking a row of dark smudges along his throat.

“N-not much longer, I'm aaaaaahfraid,” Tony answered through a mouthful of slick black hair. He was drooling all over Loki's black mane, but as long as the other didn't stop doing what he was doing, he didn't even care. His lover was also shaking with laughter again, rocking him slightly on his hips and rubbing his dripping cock against the god's stomach. Tony decided then, that he needed more of that friction, so he pressed his whole body tightly against the other's. Tony clung to Loki as if his life depended on him, (and somewhere deep in his head, he thought that that might actually be true). He felt those gorgeous muscles move beneath the skin and sunk his teeth into one creamy shoulder to taste his lover's sweat. He felt the other's movements stutter and his muscles tense suddenly, before warmth filled his behind. Another first then on this fine afternoon. The feeling of Loki's seed slowly filling him, made his lust surge so quickly that at first he didn't even notice that he had spilled between them.

They rode out the orgasm – well fine, Loki rode out his orgasm while Tony ungracefully slumped against his chest. He hung there limply and humming with afterglow. He felt a sated smile stretch is lips. When had been the last time he felt this content? Probably long ago. Psychology be damned, he was happy that Loki was back.

Only a slightly unpleasant feeling pulled him out of his state of bliss, and after pinpointing the source of the feeling, he noticed that Loki slowly slid out of him, complete with squelching noises and dripping cum. Okay, _that_ felt weird. It was quickly wiped off his mind, however, when arms encircled him. Loki reclined on the bed, paying no mind to avoiding the sticky sheets.

“I'm glad you found me,” Tony slurred onto the other's chest, making himself comfortable. The hot puff of breath ghosting over his hairline seemed agreeable. “How did you even know where to find me?”

“You told me,” Loki said matter of factly.

“Yeah, but I only said, 'a house in Malibu'. You came to my specific crib, here. Were you spying on me?”

His tone was playful, still high out from his orgasm. Loki joined him in his tone.

 

“I told you I have made friends. And the correct term would be 'scrying'.” Tony chuckled at Loki's light-hearted jest.

He must have nodded off on his big, warm, god-shaped pillow. It was funny, only half a day ago Loki entered his life again, and yet he felt totally at home with him, in his bed, on soiled bedsheets. The very best kind of soiled, by the way. He still felt a blissful tingle in his tired bones when he nuzzled closer to the man lying beneath him breathing evenly. Loki let his hands wander across his back tenderly, drawing shapes and patterns he didn't recognize. He was also very much awake already, as was his manhood.

Tony could slap himself. How could he forget? Godly powers yes or no, the stamina was still there. Loki noticed his contemplating and chuckled softly. “Are you up for another bout?”

“I don't want to just fuck you senseless,” he mumbled, lifting himself up on his elbows to be able to look Loki in the eyes. The other's face was impassive, but curious.

“Yes, you do.”

“Yeah, I do,” he admitted. “But I want you to know, that it is more than your body I love, okay?”

Loki choked out a snort and stroked Tony's sticky hair back over his head.

“I am aware of that.” Tony almost purred as he leaned into the hand on his head, playfully teasing one of Loki's nipples while doing so.

“Oh, okay. Just thought, I might reassure you.”

“Duly noted.”

He pecked Loki's lips, then shuffled to his arms, to be able to reach the bedside drawer. The other followed his movements curiously, not interfering just yet. He still didn't when Tony brought forth a curiously coloured object and held it in front of Loki's face. Obviously the other didn't recognize it. “Quick lesson in Earth-stuff. This is what we call a vibrator. Say hello to vibrator, he will make you veeery happy.”

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

“What the fuck did you do?”

It was shortly after midnight, when Tony told JARVIS to turn on the lights for the first time in hours. Sore bones had driven him out of bed. He had killed the last few hours watching the god come undone before his eyes and the bedroom looked appropriately debauched from their... little _marathon_.

Having now enough light to see, however, he had looked into the mirror at the wall and discovered a nice collar of hickeys around his neck. Right over the collar line of most of his shirts. He threw the god an annoyed look through the mirror. He could see between Loki's wide spread legs where he sprawled on the sheets. Still, the god managed to look like the cocky asshole he was. Tony angrily pointed at his hickey-collar.

“You are mine. 'tis a reminder for when I am else where.” He now fully turned around to face the other man, his forehead scrunched up in confusion.

“You're leaving?”

“My new friends, want some attention as well,” Loki simply said, already eyeing his suit that was neatly folded on the chair beside the bed.

“What?” He tentatively stepped closer to the bed again. Tony felt a little ridiculous, standing there naked, but nevertheless he was dead serious in his request. “Stay a little longer.”

Loki's gaze swept over to him again, looking impassive. The moment of silence stretched between them like a vile thing and Tony already contemplated what he had to do to make him stay. Just as his skin began crawling with unease, Loki finally sighed and tucked the bed sheets into neat shapes around him.

“Hmm... I guess you have made quite the mess out of my hair, I am afraid. It is not quite the thing to tread amongst people like this.” The tension bled out of Tony's body at his words. The therapist that SHIELD had sent him after his return, had said that a person with his problems, needed structure and an orderly life to get better eventually. Standing here now looking at a Norse chaos deity in his bed, he thought that he should probably tell the poor man to quit his job.

He joined Loki in the bed again, turning on his side to face him. They didn't speak again after that, instead shuffling closer together, arms around each other and legs entwined. They fell asleep in the position they first got to know each other – really got to know each other- in.

Together.

Home.

 

 

 

 

Sin in Silence

2013-1-19 - 2013-6-27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is it. The story ends here, I have told what I wanted to tell. The epilogue is just a small gaze into the future.  
> Thank you for your support and critique, I hope the ride was as enjoyable to you as it was to me!  
> And one last time many thanks to my betas kidforgottenbygod and lokiofasgard, for enduring my wacky writing!
> 
> Yours Sincerely,  
> Light


	25. Epilogue: Puer Aeternus

“You were gone for three days,” the metal cased man drawled from his seat by the fire, eyes glinting in Loki's direction.

“Missed me?” Loki slowly moved from the door over to the table, he sat down and helped himself to some wine. “The journey here takes a little time, Victor.”

“Not three days.”

“You _indeed_ missed me. I am flattered.” They looked at each other over the table. Loki half-mockingly raised his cup to Doom.

“Excuse us if Doom, is worried to have you stay with our... sworn enemies, after we have taken you into our home, and let you in on our studies,” Doom continued, not yet angry, but incredulous at the god's boldness.

“And I have sworn you an oath, Victor,” Loki drawled, looking over the rim of his cup. “They would know nothing of you, you would know nothing of them. We have business, I will honour that.”

“Does your visiting the Avengers, further our cause?” Doom slowly stood up and walked over to the window, watching the Latverian night outside.

“Of course,” Loki grinned. “Do realize, I had to make sure our cause was not for nothing. You have to trust me that far, dear Victor. Quid pro quo, you remember?”

Doom snorted, then turned around to face the god who was lounging in one of his chairs.

“Doom remembers. We will help you regain your magic, you will help us find a way to become immortal. Doom does keep wondering, however, why you would strike such a bargain, or even honour it, _Silvertongue_?”

“Why should I not?” Loki unsheathed a knife hanging by the table and began cleaning his fingernails with it. “It is none of my concern, if there are one or two more immortals walking the world.”

“So you are doing this out of benevolence?” Had the mask not obscured his face, one would have been able to observe raised eyebrows.

“Our bargain, entails the return of my magic, Victor. I miss it dearly. After all, it was once part of me, and it is no longer. There may come an Alien threat to haunt Earth one day, I do not wish to be helpless then. There is no other cause.” Loki smiled softly.

“Doom finds that hard to believe, Loki.”

“Well,” the god scoffed. “That is hardly my problem.” His tone made it clear that these were his last words on the matter for today.

Doom wandered in slow circles around the room, pacing back and forth. “You speak of immortality... what about divinity?”

“Oh, that is another beast entirely, though not unheard of,” Loki sighed. “Golden Apples, Amrita, Ambrosia, Blood magic... the trick is to do the deed without these, the gods hide them well. Is eternal life not enough for your tastes?”

Snorting again, Doom finally ceased his pacing and sat down opposite Loki again. “Doom strives only for the highest of goals.”

“Oh, it is a high goal already, for a … mere mortal.”

“Doom is not a 'mere mortal',” he scoffed.

“Under your armour... you are. And like all of you, you dread it.” Loki emptied his cup, then stood from his chair, an impeccable smile gracing his lips.

“Sometimes we wonder why we entertain your vain presence, Loki.”

“Because I am your key, Victor. I have, what you wish for. I can help you seek your _Ambrosia_.” With that the god bowed slightly to the castle's owner and made his way for the door. “I will retire to my chambers now. Your means of aerial transportation are quite tiresome. Have a pleasant evening, King of Latveria.”

 

The god left the room when servants came scurrying in to clean the table. One servant boy brought Doom his pitcher of wine, which was taken without thanks.

“Is something the matter, Your Grace?”

“Immortality is the goal Doom strived for his entire life. The power of the gods,” the man said gloomily, staring into his hearth fire.

The servant boy was quick to assure him of his believes. “It seems well within in your grasp, Your Grace. No other but Your Grace, can count themselves lucky for this opportunity.”

Doom nodded, still staring intently into the fire. Since the god had taken residence in his castle he had tried to make sense of the otherworldly being. A tedious task, he had come to learn.

“Then why does Doom feel like a guinea pig?”

 


End file.
